Sunday, August 23, 2015

When I Am Among the Trees

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees, 

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

   but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, "Stay awhile."

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,

"and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine. ~Mary Oliver

Certain poetry speaks to my Soul…this one did.  “I would say that they (the trees) save me, and daily.”  How that line speaks to me. When I read it first, in a bookstore yesterday, it brought tears to my eyes.  I think all my life, trees, bodies of water and sunshine have ‘saved me’…have been manna to me in my most challenging and heart-breaking moments.  They do give off  ‘hints of gladness’  no matter what dire situation I find myself—the mere sight of them brings comfort to my weary heart.  A feeling of gratitude rushes over me, for the beauty that I am always surrounded by.  

There is no need to ‘phone a friend’ …trees are my friends.  Sunshine is my salvation.  I am enveloped by grace. Held in the hands of a loving Universe.  

I may not always ‘walk slowly’ but I do ‘bow often’.  Each morning I am caught off guard by the beauty I get to open my eyes to. Lately, it’s the buzzing of the hummingbirds outside my window that act as my alarm.  Sometimes it’s the mama doe and her two lil cuties.  
It’s an interesting dichotomy to feel your heart-break open from sadness and beauty, almost in the same moment.  Lately, the two are becoming indistinguishable to me.  I am often so awestruck by a view in a moment, that my 5 year old heart almost bursts and the tears stream down my tender cheeks.   Tears of gratitude that I get to be a witness of such astounding beauty, tears of ‘what if this is my last life on planet Earth’, tears that I have ‘eyes to see’ and not miss it. 

Then there’s the heart-break, even with the acceptance of what is and what must be, for we all have our own path to walk, my mother’s heart weeps.  Weeps that I should have done something different, weeps for my child’s uncertain future, weeps for his aching heart. 

My heart has been heavy and overflowing with gratitude at the same time.  I feel.  I am alive.  I love deeply.  My heart aches. I can’t breathe. I am a warrior.  I am a goddess.  I am a lil human.  I am Divine.  I am all that is.  Aham Brahmasmi. 

“And you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.”  See the light through your pain and your darkness.  Go easy…allow.  Accept. Be. Breathe.  Love.  Shine.  Through it all.