Everything I Need to Know About How to BE, I Learned in The Redwood Forest

I was unexpectedly blessed with a trip to the magnificent Redwood Forest last weekend.  OMG. I am going to attempt to recreate and share with you my experience.  If it resonates, may you be blessed to get your Self there for your own experience.  

I don’t know about you, but Im a tree-lover, climber, hugger…have been my entire life.  I am also a lover of nature and beauty.  I see things, I can’t even help it, nor do I want to.  I’m that person that interrupts with, “Squirrel”, “Beautiful sunset!!”, “Deer!!” I have been fortunate to travel around the world and experience some of the most beautiful places on spaceship Earth.  The Redwoods are now at the top of my list.  For me, if Heaven had a vibe, it would be The Avenue of the Giants. If you are familiar with David Hawkins, Power vs. Force, you may know something about calibration (a number assigned to the energy/emotion of a particular person, event, book, etc.)  For example, shame resonates the lowest, coming in at a 20 and enlightenment at 1000, with love at 500 and peace at 700, suffice it to say, I have no doubt, this spot resonates well around 700+.  It literally feels like my conception of whatever Heaven would feel like.  

Interestingly enough, the day and evening prior, were spent in the contrast of downtown San Fransisco where we were surrounded by homeless, mental illness, great wealth, extreme poverty, crime and the smell of urine in the air.  The vibe of ‘survival of the fittest’, desperation, desire, scarcity, inauthenticity, and fear were palpable.  In fact, it was so over-whelming for our sensitive Souls, that we retired early to get an early morning jump start on our 5 hour drive to commune with the trees.  

Upon our entrance to the area, we were struck with the enormity of the trees and beauty of our simple drive.  As we pulled over and entered what was the most sacred grove of trees I’d ever been in, I literally dropped to my knees.  I was overcome with their tremendous presence.  I’m sure no less overcome than I would have been had I seen a host of heavenly angels lurking within—seriously.  The energy was so completely pure, so contrasting to the experience we’d had the prior evening in the city.  It was all-consuming, you could not walk in and come out unaffected.  

As is normal of my 5 year old inner-Self, when confronted with such a delightful sight, I get giddy, I cant stop oohing and ahhing.  My phone is in instant camera mode and I am taking pictures and snap-chatting to all of my friends, clients and loved ones, picture after picture of every tall tree, fallen tree, sunlight peeking through branches, ground-cover and moss.  I’m doing yoga on the stumps, looking for fairies, peeing in the woods, jumping off of huge logs, pulling off pieces of tree to smell, putting ferns, clover and pieces of dead wood in my pockets to carry home with me and share :)

It truly is the desire of my lil girl heart, to share the beauty of the world that I see with everyone.  A favorite saying of mine is, “Don’t miss the show!!”  What I mean by that is, EVERYTHING is a show!!  EVERYTHING wants to be seen, heard, felt and experienced;  to be known.  I believe it is the deepest desire of ourSelves, to be known by ourSelves!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!? What beauty lies within your magnificent Soul? 

We also want to be seen by the other—to be acknowledged by another human, animal, tree or entity,  that they see the Divinity within us, that the lies and programming of our not being enough are an illusion, that we are not our past, we are not what happened to us, we are not the shitty things we may have done, we are not our addictions, short-comings, perceived failures, bad behaviors or personal appearance.  Under all of that, is the Truth of you.  You are a Divine Being of Light.  You are peace.  You are joy.  You are whole.  DON’T MISS THE SHOW!!   Its all around you…in every leave, critter, sunset, moon-rise, and in every challenge, loss, and heart-break.  There is a SHOW of beauty, of grace, and of the indomitable Spirit in every moment.

Back to the Redwoods.  After my great ‘show’ of exuberance, I finally take a deep breath.  I allow the energy to permeate my Be-ing.  I wander off by mySelf.  I walk for a while, respecting the deep quiet of this sacred space. I inhale my most favorite scent, that of the woods and pine trees.  I grew up in Maine, the Pine Tree State.  There was a row of giant pines that separated my grandparents home, from my cousins, next door.  I spent the majority of my days playing in the woods and climbing trees, not far from our back yard.  I have always felt at home in the woods; trees are my friends.  I had favorites, like I do people.  In this sacred grove, I am over come with gratitude to be experiencing this holy place, to be out of the hustle and bustle of the city, to be away from some of the personal drama in my own life and to be rejuvenating my own Soul in this majestic place.  

As I meander these adorable little paths, I find a tree that looks inviting to sit on.  My exuberance has shifted to that deep stillness, reverence and awe one would feel upon encountering Christ or arriving at some great mecca. I assure you, I would feel no different in the presence of Angels.  Trees are known as ‘the great wisdom keepers’ of our planet.  These tress are thousands of years old.  ”The wisdom they must contain is immense, vast, incomprehensible”, I think to mySelf.  I no sooner have that thought, than a more true thought is inserted into my mind, “You are the same, Miss.  You too, contain the wisdom of the ages. Through all your lifetimes of study and experience, you too are everything you see and feel here. You are just like these majestic trees.”

With even more reverence, I assume my usual meditation position of half lotus and hands up to receive.  I get the memo to turn my hands over and place them below me to the tree upon which I sit.  Immediately an energy courses through my veins, and again I am overwhelmed and take a breath into, and adjust to this new frequency.  I have the thought that everything I need to know about how to BE, I can learn right here in this place. I want to absorb and embody everything I am feeling here on a cellular level such that I may recall it, presence it, be it and share it. 

Then I have the thought to do a chakra meditation and blessing of sorts to anchor in this energy in every way.  Let me say something here, I believe anyone with good intentions can bestow a blessing upon us and that we can intend a blessing for ourSelves.  I don’t believe that you have to have some ordained priest or minister lay their hands on your head, travel to India, or that you have to be a man to do so—how ludicrous. So, I begin my meditation and it goes something like this:

Beginning with my first chakra, my root, Mulhadara in Sanskrit, I presence the end of my tailbone area.  I connect with the grounding  energy of the earth beneath me and the tree on which i sit.  I feel the safety of being in the womb. I feel the protection of the enormous Redwoods.  I smell the scent of pine and earth. I say/bless, “May I be strong, stable and grounded like the roots of these trees.  May I feel the beautiful grounding connection with Mother Earth that is always present.  May I always feel the safety, protection and nurturing of this sacred grove."  (These words in parenthesis to follow, are ancient chants/mantras associated with each chakra I describe prior. Simply chanting them brings those particular chakras into alignment and resonance.) ((( LAM ))) 

Moving up to my second chakra, my sacral area, Swadishtana in Sanskrit.  I think about the feeling of this place.  I feel alive.  Every sense is heightened. I feel an energetic vibrancy rich with possibility. I can almost taste the air it is so rich with oxygen and nutrients.   I bless, “May I always treat my sexuality as sacred as this sacred grove.  If the experience is not rooted in the sacred, may I choose out.  May I honor my feelings and remember the energy of this place to transform any negativity to that of neutrality or love. May I be blessed with and open to the stream of creativity that is always flowing.  May I give birth to my most noble projects with effortless ease."  ((( VAM )))

Moving up to my third chakra, my seat of power, Manipura in Sanskrit. I connect to the tremendous strength of these sentinels that have stood for thousands of years. I sense what fortitude it would take to stick around that long. The clarity of knowing who they are and the nobility and grace that exudes. I see their beauty and authenticity.  I bless,  “May I align myself with the power and strength of these enormous trees.  May I embody the majesty and nobility exuded here, that I may lead with grace, humility and surety.  May I stand firm in my convictions, with confidence and uprightness.”   ((( RAM )))

Moving up to my fourth chakra, heart chakra, Anahata, in Sanskrit.  I think about how judgmental I can be. I notice how much my Being has revered these trees from the moment I laid eyes on them.  I think of my great exuberance and joy to be in their presence.  I am touched by the generosity of their giving; the overwhelming love and acceptance I feel. I say, “May I greet all sentient beings with the same awe, wonder and reverence that I have paid these trees.  May I see only Divinity in all beings.  May my heart be open to love and accepting of all that is.”  ((( YUM )))

On to my fifth chakra, my throat chakra, Vishuda in Sanskrit. I notice the abundance all around me.  There is no scarcity of trees, leaves, ground cover or fresh air.  The purity and authenticity of nature is breath-taking. There is no artifice here. I can hear the immense quiet.  I imagine, bringing any question or challenge to this space and the answer is instant. Anything that is not true and real, would fall away.  Negativity could not exist in this energy. I say/bless:  “May I stand tall like these trees and  speak my truth with conviction, grace and humility.  May I be blessed with abundance and affluence in all my creative endeavors.  May I be blessed with the gift of discernment for my greatest good and that of others. May the words from my mouth, edify and uplift all those in my presence.”  ((( HUM)))

Moving on to the sixth chakra, my sixth sense, third eye, Ajna in Sanskrit.  I notice that my intuition feels great clarity here, there is no noise to distract.  Inner-knowing is effortless and comes naturally.  My purpose is given wings to fly through vitalized vision. I bless, “May my third eye be touched by these wisdom keepers, that I may know wisdom.  May I be blessed with intuition for mySelf and those I guide.  May I be a clear channel to receive the Light that I may share it with others.  May my dreams and visions be brought from the unmanifest into material form. May I tap into the wisdom of the ages through accessing that still place within mySelf.”  ((( SHUM )))

And finally ending with the seventh chakra, crown chakra, the thousand petaled lotus, Sahaswara in Sanskrit.  I notice the stillness and consciousness present is palpable.  I feel like I am swimming in a sea of pure-potentiality, pure awareness, pure divinity.  All is possible in this place.  I notice how straight and tall these Redwoods stand and how they are always looking up and seeking the Light.  I feel their majesty and great nobility as if they are Ascended Masters incarnate. I bless, “May I remain open to the Divine and my higher-Self.  May I effortlessly access that place that is within each one of us, where we are all one and separation is but an illusion.  May my Soul be fed and nourished by the infinite cosmos. May I live in a state of grace and enlightenment.”  ((( OM )))

The Universe is always talking to us…are you listening? Everything is a show? Are you seeing? We all are beautiful, majestic, noble beings just like these angelic Redwoods.  Do you feel it? Do you know that the truth of you is beauty?  That the truth of you is peace? That the truth of you is Divine? We too, grow forever.  Our souls are ever-evolving.  Within us lies the wisdom of the ages.  All you need to do is be still, like the forest.  Go within.  Tune in.  Just be.  Listen. Be open.  Share.  And Shine-on, Shine-on, beautiful, majestic peeps!!  Tree-Huggers unite!!

~Laurie Frazier

Maven of Moksha

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”

― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

Navaratri, Celebrating the Goddess

October 13th-22nd marks yet another of my favorite ‘holy’ days.  This particular one is from India & Nepal.  It is called Navratri also known as Navarartri.  It is celebrated 4 times a year, more traditionally, two. Once in the spring and the most significant one, is in the fall, and is simply called Maha Navaratri, meaning the Great Navaratri.  It coincides with the lunar calendar, so it falls on different days each year. 

The word Navaratri means 'nine nights' in Sanskrit, nava meaning nine and ratri meaning nights. It is the celebration of the goddess in all of her forms.  During these nine nights, it is believed that the Divine Feminine, descends to the Earth plane and the Mother Goddess manifests herself in warrior form to destroy the dark forces that harm humans and threaten the existence of goodness and righteousness on this planet. 

In many traditions, she is not simply a vibration or frequency. She is a mega-divine female, the Mother Divine. The counterpart of God the Father, creatress of the phenomenal world. In order to access her you must remain alert, tune in, be aware. 

The ancient seers/rishis of India identified Navratri as the time for the destruction of evil forces. Each year during Navratri, the Goddess descends to awaken the Earth from a deep slumber and to destroy all types of evil. These ‘evil forces’ are known as: sickness, negativity, laziness, poverty and ignorance.  This could all sound like some cute mythological Hindu fairy-tale to us simple Westerners. Or—

What if it were a time, to be conscious and awaken yourself to your own negativity, self-sabotage, and small playing ways?  What if you could use the love and compassion of the Divine Feminine aspect to shine the Light on all of your dark places and activate the Warrior Goddess, Kali, to wield her sword of truth, to show you that which is toxic in your life? To flesh out that which is no longer serving you and simply let go of some of your own darkness?

It appears that the goddess has long been forgotten in our modern, industrial, patriarchal society and is no longer a living presence for people as it once was in ancient cultures.  The Goddess is the invisible Divine power and energy that sustains life and exists in both men and women of receptivity, nurturing, vulnerability, beauty, fertility, prosperity, joy, intuition, community. The Goddess Archetypes bring everything that is enjoyable into this world. Hindu’s believe, and I concur, that when our connection to Her is weak, we suffer financially, physically, mentally and emotionally. Makes sense to me.  When we are lacking that Feminine aspect of ourSelves, life becomes all work and doing and no play. It is harsh, opposed to the softness, made available by the feminine.  We definitely ‘suffer’ and our lives are lacking depth without it. 

I share to simply bring awareness.  To create a discussion.  To cause you to question, where have you abandoned the goddess in your life? And where have you or would you, like to embrace the goddess more?  How could embracing more of the feminine aspect in your life, wether you are male or female, benefit you and make your life richer? 

There are three primordial forms of the goddess that are embraced and embodied during Navaratri.  They are each celebrated for three nights of the nine, beginning with: 

Durga/Kali (Goddess of Protection & Strength) protection from enemies and dark forces; warrior goddess extraordinaire, complete with belt of dismembered heads. 

Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth), giver of spiritual and material wealth, as well as good fortune, beauty and health. 

Saraswati (Goddess of Intelligence & Learning) for wisdom and right knowledge. She is the goddess of the arts, intelligence, education, music and memory. 

In order to have all-round success in life, believers seek the blessings of all three aspects of the divine feminine, hence the nine nights of worship.

I like to think about what it looks like, in our modern world to embrace each of those aspects.

I’ve written a blog on the warrior goddess.  That’s an aspect I am probably all too familiar with, and that I also wouldn’t trade for anything.  As a woman, to be able to stand up for mySelf, my loved ones and those I work with, that may not be able to do so for themselves, is an invaluable trait.  It shows up in fierce loyalty to those I love, not allowing myself to be walked on, taking charge of and accountability for my life, confidence to meet whatever life brings me and competence to manage it all.

  

Saraswati is another favorite.  In my life-long pursuit of wisdom, learning, and education, I have often called upon her to quickly learn and retain all that I study. Along with countless chantings of the Gayatri Mantra.  Being a great appreciator of art and music, and being a writer myself, (which I consider to fall under ‘the arts’) is also embodying Saraswati. 

Lakshmi, I’ve called her my home-girl for years.  I once had an experience while meditating of her coming to me.  Another time, while in San Diego, a woman of a friend I was staying with, just randomly shared that Lakshmi was one of my ‘guides’.  Anyway, I’ve always felt a particular affinity to this goddess.  Still searching for the perfect statue of her.  She is the bestower of fortune and wealth. Not just material wealth, but spiritual wealth, which is something I have always valued.  She is often attributed as the goddess of health and beauty, as well.  I’ve been blessed with amazing health and well, as far as the beauty part, I do my best to be that inside and out. 

I believe true beauty is a result of who you are ‘being” and radiates out from within.  Outer beauty does not necessarily relate to inner beauty, however, inner beauty always finds its way out. 

I think it’s great to study whatever goddesses appeal to you.  What are their different aspects and characteristics that you most identify with and which qualities could you use more of in your life? 

Use this time of Navaratri to do your own research on any goddesses that appeal to you or take at look at some of your Divine feminine qualities and see where you could improve, where you are doing well, and what do you want to embody moving forward.  

Here is a list, my friend Merrill Chandler, came up with for high-vibration feminine traits to get you thinking: Vulnerable, Intuitive, Creative, Inspiring, Receptive, Nurturing, Interdependent, Trusting, Collaborative, Accountable.  

Some of the low-vibe feminine traits would be: Wishy-Washy, Weak, Pushover, Dreamer, Smothering, Follower, Gullible, Compromising, Victim.   

So go get your Goddess on!!  Now is the time!! Feel free to share some of your favorite goddesses, and their traits that speak to you. Post some pics of your fave goddess or better yet, as yourSelf embodying something that speaks to you.  

Shine on, shine on, beautiful peeps!!

When I Am Among the Trees

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees, 

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

   but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, "Stay awhile."

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,

"and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine. ~Mary Oliver

Certain poetry speaks to my Soul…this one did.  “I would say that they (the trees) save me, and daily.”  How that line speaks to me. When I read it first, in a bookstore yesterday, it brought tears to my eyes.  I think all my life, trees, bodies of water and sunshine have ‘saved me’…have been manna to me in my most challenging and heart-breaking moments.  They do give off  ‘hints of gladness’  no matter what dire situation I find myself—the mere sight of them brings comfort to my weary heart.  A feeling of gratitude rushes over me, for the beauty that I am always surrounded by.  

There is no need to ‘phone a friend’ …trees are my friends.  Sunshine is my salvation.  I am enveloped by grace. Held in the hands of a loving Universe.  

I may not always ‘walk slowly’ but I do ‘bow often’.  Each morning I am caught off guard by the beauty I get to open my eyes to. Lately, it’s the buzzing of the hummingbirds outside my window that act as my alarm.  Sometimes it’s the mama doe and her two lil cuties.  

It’s an interesting dichotomy to feel your heart-break open from sadness and beauty, almost in the same moment.  Lately, the two are becoming indistinguishable to me.  I am often so awestruck by a view in a moment, that my 5-year-old heart almost bursts and the tears stream down my tender cheeks.   Tears of gratitude that I get to be a witness of such astounding beauty, tears of ‘what if this is my last life on planet Earth’, tears that I have ‘eyes to see’ and not miss it. 

Then there’s the heartbreak, even with the acceptance of what is and what must be, for we all have our own path to walk, my mother’s heart weeps.  Weeps that I should have done something different, weeps for my child’s uncertain future weeps for his aching heart. 

My heart has been heavy and overflowing with gratitude at the same time.  I feel.  I am alive.  I love deeply.  My heart aches. I can’t breathe. I am a warrior.  I am a goddess.  I am a lil human.  I am Divine.  I am all that is.  Aham Brahmasmi. 

“And you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.”  See the light through your pain and your darkness.  Go easy. Allow.  Accept. Be. Breathe.  Love.  Shine.  Through it all.  

Are We Accountable for Our Energy, Too??

How do you feel about being responsible for how your energy lands with another person?  What do I mean by that?  I mean, how your words, actions, tone, or energy are perceived on the other end of your action, or lack of action.  Do you think it matters?  Do you think you are responsible, or is it the fault of the interpreter?  What if they interpreted you accurately? They sensed your anger or rage and felt it, do you have any accountability for what then unfolds?

Here’s a personal example of what I mean.  I was involved in a very volatile relationship over 9 years ago.  At the time, myself and numerous others would have labeled my then boyfriend ‘verbally abusive’.  He was a yeller alright, especially when he’d been drinking and smoking.  I’m not much of a crier, nor have I ever considered myself a doormat and I don’t scare easily, however, I was often brought to tears and found myself in the fetal position concerned for my safety, a time or two.   It was very easy for me to play the victim and even lie to myself that I was innocent.  After all, I certainly didn’t yell at him like that.  I didn’t drink and smoke and get ‘out-of-control’. I was half his size— he certainly wasn’t afraid of me!  I was an innocent victim…or was I??

At the time, I didn’t know a lot about energy.  I felt if I said fairly nice words, even if I was pissed inside, my ‘nice words’ were all that counted.  If someone interpreted that I was angry, I could deny it all day long because, all I said was, “x, y, z”…nothing aggressive in that.  Benign words.  Towards the end of this relationship, I mostly felt like I hated this person.  I would talk poorly about him behind his back, get sympathy from others.  I would have a smile on my face in his presence, whilst having an energetic knife behind my back, ready to stab him (energetically) at any and every given moment.  I would think evil thoughts like, ‘hope your plane crashes’, when he went out of town.  Don’t tell me you have never had that thought about anybody??  Ok, it’s only me :(

This person was highly empathic and sensitive to energy.  He absolutely felt my hater vibe, be it conscious or likely sub-conscious.  My behavior didn’t have to be out-of-control, yelling and screaming, or anything.  Since I rarely made the kind of outbursts he did, it was easy to point the finger at him, and on paper, if we were in a court of law, I would be vindicated and he would be charged.  However, that would not be an accountable story, knowing what I know and feel about energy now.  

My hater-energy, absolutely contributed to his emotional outbursts.  He is a sensitive soul and he could feel it.  It absolutely caused him to react.  For me to claim otherwise, would be an outright lack of accountability.  I’m sure I was also passive-aggressive and raised my voice at times as well.  However, the energy is what I refused to see.  I played the victim role well and got plenty of agreement from everyone around me. I could not see at that time, that my energy was making a huge contribution to his negative behavior.   

I recently met with the wife of one of my addiction clients.  She said she came home to her husband to find him passed out with a can (for huffing) still in his hands.  Her initial report, was that she gently took the can out of his hands, gave him a kiss on the cheek and went to the other room.  She reports she didn’t say anything or get pissed like she has in the passed.  After talking further with her, it was clear that she was in a rage about it and was so disappointed in her husband.  He too, was consequently upset with her, interpreted her kiss as ‘sniffing him for evidence’ and was super annoyed and frustrated.  

We worked on a more accountable version.  She was pissed as fuck, and bit her tongue and couldn’t stop thinking about it.  In turn, it caused her to treat her husband poorly, which had him feel judged and he remained in his resentment for her, though she hadn’t ‘done’ anything.  However, her energy was felt, and her self-proclaimed  ‘kind actions’ were not met with gratitude, because her energy spoke the real truth of the negativity that she felt and was projecting.  

I had another client that used to get so pissed that his kids would leave out the cereal boxes in the morning and all of their bowls.  The kids knew this annoyed him and that he was always nagging about it.  He started to bite his tongue, the mess continued.  After some work, he finally let go of his attachment to the kitchen needing to be clean.  His energy shifted.  He decided that if it really bothered him, he’d clean it up with no energy or make-wrong vibe towards the kids.  Before he knew it, the kids were picking up their dishes and putting the cereal away because there was no more judgmental energy around it.  

Some more examples of people being unaccountable for our energy would be this: 

You are having a discussion with a small group of 3-4 people, someone barges into the conversation, interrupting with their own agenda, cutting the others off.  

You are at a meeting when a co-worker arrives late.  They are completely disheveled, and immediately bursts out their story of why they weren’t there earlier, completely hi-jacking the meeting.

Somebody saying something super hurtful, with no concern as to how it will land with  or affect the listener.  

A parent comes home from work, he’s had a horrible day.  Everybody knows it, without him saying a word.  He slams the door, kicks the dog, starts yelling about toys on the floor or chores not being done, immediately upon walking in.  Everybody runs for the hills. 

Scientology has an interesting concept that is quite similar to this.  They say, “don’t have a conversation with someone that is not capable of hearing it.”  For example, say you had an affair 15 years ago, and you know if you share that information, it will be devastating to your partner.  The only reason you want to share is to ease your guilty conscious and get it off your chest.  Scientology would say not to share in that case. I would call that simply being accountable for how you’re communication is going to land with people.  This means to put yourself in the others shoes, and think about how they are going to feel about what you have to say.  Is there a better way to communicate it so your message can be heard?  Is it really necessary?

Maybe you are really smart, and you know some cool things that others could benefit from.  How accountable are you about caring if those on the other end are comprehending you?  Are you more caught up in your superiority, industry-jargon, and your own ego, to adjust for someone else?  Do you just feel, if they don’t get it, that’s their problem?  Is it ever yours?  How responsible do you feel to communicate in such a way that the other understands?  Especially in your intimate relationships?  Is that important to you?  Do you genuinely desire and make an effort to speak the other’s language?  Do you care if you are misunderstood? Are you ever told that you have mis-interpreted someones intentions or words? Do you ask for clarification when you aren’t clear?  

I’m not saying we get to be the care-taker of everyone’s feelings and misinterpretations of us.  I’m not saying it’s your fault if someone feels a certain way after you speak (or roar). I’m not saying you have to tip-toe around everyone and curb yourself at every turn.  No. I’m saying, life just runs better when you actually care; when you choose to be kind.

  

Before any words cross your lips, my mentor(s) at the Chopra Center, David Simon and Davidji, said we deserve to ask ourselves 3 Questions: Is it true?  Is it necessary? and Is it kind?  Some Buddhist teachings say before you speak, you should ask: Is it factual?  Is it true?  Is it beneficial? Is it agreeable?  Is it endearing? And is it timely?  If it isn’t all of those things, apparently, you should save it.  

These are a couple of different, yet similar concepts I am attempting to combine and share:  When you have shitty energy, are you accountable for it?  Do you ‘bite your tongue’, not say something or say a lie to keep the peace? All the while, your energy is screaming the opposite of peace, and you lie to yourself that you’ve done nothing wrong.   Do you consider not just your energy, but your communication and how that lands with others?  

It’s just about bringing some awareness around being accountable not only for our actions, but for our words, and our energy and asking ourselves the question, do we care how our words, actions and energy lands with others? Can we look outside of ourselves and into the heart of the other(s)? Can we love ourSelves enough to inject a little grace into our conversations? Can we have compassion and seek to understand? Or will we continue to speak as if we are the only ones listening? Are we more loving in the way we speak to our pets, than our loved ones? Just a few questions, I have.

It is my supposition that by being more conscious about your communication and how it lands, and the delivery of your energy, wether it is attached to action or no action, you will receive better results in your life.  You will be able to have more authentic interactions, a greater understanding/Self-awareness of yourself and compassion for others.  You will become more thoughtful, considerate and kind.  People, pets and babies will want to be around you…..you will win friends, influence people and start a revolution.  Before you speak ask yourSelf, Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?  Ask of your energy: Is my energy positive and uplifting? Is my energy intimidating and threatening? Is my energy dramatic and out-of-control? Is my energy inviting or repelling others?  

Just because you had a bad day at the office, does not mean you deserve to bring that shitty-energy into your home to share with the wife and kids.  An accountable person, would deal with that energy through meditation, simple releasing and letting go techniques and enter his home with inviting, warm energy.  

Just because you are pissed that your favorite team lost the playoffs, does not give you the right to kick the dog or yell at the kids.  

Just because you were cut off in traffic, does not mean you have to honk your horn, give your middle finger, and ride somebody’s tail.  

You are not at the whim of your every thought and feeling…you are not your feelings, you are not your thoughts. You are the observer, the silent witness.  Let go.  You CAN be kind under ANY circumstance.  Kindness is a always a choice.  Be the change.  Breathe the change.  Live the change.  “We are all connected.  Be kind.” slogan of ulovemeloveu on FB.

Try it on for a week.  Ask yourSelf the 3 questions before you speak.  Practice inserting kindness in all of your interactions.  Monitor your energy.  Check in before you enter into a group of people or just one other.  Are you able to be present?  If you have some major chaos or turbulence happening on the inside, maybe you share with whomever you’re with so they aren’t wondering if they may have offended you in any way.  Maybe when you get home you say, Mommy’s had a rough day today, I’m going to go take a bubble bath and meditate, I’ll be out in an hour in a better mood :) That’s accountable.  Barking at the kids and saying you’re pissed at them because their chores aren’t done, is un-accountable.  

I get this is just another layer of accountability, that most people will not want to take on.  It’s burden enough for most to simply be accountable for their actions!  I get it, and, like I said, what’s in it for you?  Peace of mind.  Feeling good about yourSelf.  People will want to be around you when you check your grumpy-ass energy at the door.  You will become a much more conscious creator of your world, circumstances and events.  And if that isn’t enticing enough, I hear there are still some empty caves in the Himalayas.  Shine on, shine on, beautiful Peeps!!  We are all just walking each other home.  

Great video from my mentor, Davidji below:

https://youtu.be/ojEybvwYYDg

I Need Your Trust...Is That True?

I need you to trust me…is that true?  I need to trust you…is that true?  Do I really need to trust my boyfriend/spouse, children or business partner(s)?

Ultimately, I trust the universe. I don’t ‘need’ to trust  you.  You can do whatever you are going to do.  I believe that life is always unfolding for my highest good.  If you betray that trust, there may be consequences…oh well.  

I deserve to trust mySELF.  I deserve to trust mySelf to make wise choices and to exercise discernment.  I deserve to trust mySelf to choose people that contribute to my life and not suck/drain away from it.  I deserve to trust mySelf to let go of toxic people, food, environments and relationships.  I deserve to trust myself to let go of of unhealthy and non-nourishing behaviors in favor of their healthy/nourishing counter-parts.  

If I have a need to trust you, it’s probably because I don’t already.  If you have a need to trust somebody, I believe that comes from your own insecurities, your own desires to control people, situations and events.  If  you have a strong need to trust someone, it’s because you are suspicious, you are worried, you have concerns, you believe that person isn’t trustworthy.  If that is the case, then you must not trust yourself to make wise decisions, or you wouldn’t have that person in your space in the first place. You don’t trust yourSelf…OR—

You believe the Universe is unfolding perfectly.  You offer your trust freely to those you have deemed trustworthy and you don’t even think about it again.  If someone you feel betrays you or does you wrong in someway, you have a choice to make.  You can’t control people into trustworthy behavior.  Your partner is going to cheat on you if he wants to, wether you deem him trustworthy or not.  Your kids are going to have sex and smoke weed, wether you trust them or don’t.  Relax.  Life is going to keep life-ing.  You can’t control EVERYTHING. 

Your best hope is to trust yourSelf, be in alignment with your own Truth.  People will reveal themselves in time.  If you are trustworthy, you will attract trustworthy people.  If you are a suspicious mother-fucker, the kind and benevolent Universe, will give you all kinds of reasons, situations and people to be suspicious of and not trust.  If I am one of those people, then I will constantly be on the look out for reasons not to trust anyone or anything in my space, and that, my friends, will eat up a shit-ton of my vitality and energy, something I choose not to do.  AND—I will inevitably find what I’m looking for!! And my boobie-prize is…..I get to be RIGHT!!! 

Let’s define the verb ‘trust’: to believe that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.: To have confidence in (someone or something).  I need you to trust me.  Is that true? Nope.  I don’t need you to think anything of me.  I will be trustworthy or I won’t.  No amount of what you think of me will make it so or not.  And your interpretation or perception of me is just that—YOURS.  It is not my business.  

Some people will trust you and some won’t.  So what.  What they think of you is not your concern.  What YOU think of YOU is.  Can you trust yourSelf? If your answer is ‘no’, don’t be pissed if others don’t trust you either.  If your answer is ‘yes’, good for you! Who gives a shit what somebody else thinks?!?  You just keep proving yourself trustworthy to YOU!! When you do that, and you know the truth of YOU, then it won’t matter.  If someone can’t see the truth of you, that is their problem.  

There are some people I am just going to choose to trust, there are others that feel unsafe for me to extend that courtesy to, so I love them, I bless them and I release them from my inner circle.  Those in that inner-circle, I have no expectations of, I know their character, I don’t have to ask if they’d have my back, I don’t have to trust and hope that they will—i just KNOW.  I also know that we all have our moments of feeling out of alignment with our own truth.  And in those moments that someone else chooses something that hurts my lil feelings, or makes a choice that I don’t like, I get to be ok, to just trust that they are doing what is best for them.  Then I get to make a choice about what is in my best interest —sans drama.   I trust myself to be ok with whatever happens in my life, loss, pain, or otherwise.  I also trust that I will be conscious enough to ask mySelf why I am attracting such people, circumstances and events into my life and be courageous enough to look within mySelf to acknowledge my own similar shortcomings and self-correct.  

I need to trust mySelf—is that true? I’m not sure it’s true or if it isn’t, but what I do know is, that it sure makes life much easier.  Choices are more freely made without major deliberation, there is a greater sense of stability and grounded-ness,  fears of the future dissipate, a certain inner calmness and peace reside in your being, and there is a feeling of self-respect and unconditional friendliness with one’s Self that seems to arise.  I trust mySelf and it feels good. It also feels good that I don’t need to trust you or have you trust me. My happiness is not dependent on that which is outside of mySelf.

How you go about trusting yourSelf is material for another blog entirely.  Wishing you many blessings on your personal journey inward.  May you fall in love with the brilliance of your own Soul.