Rescue Mission To Reclaim the Neglected & Abandoned

Photo Cred: @kimzier11 Instagram

Does anybody else love exploring old and abandoned buildings? I've had a passion for this since I could walk. What’s that?!? What is in THERE? With wild abandon I still charge past the no trespassing and do not enter signs, as if they were invisible and certainly never intended for me. Those are for people that live in fear and follow the rules for their own safety and all the other bullshit they were taught. I certainly wasn’t afraid of crumbling buildings, overgrown weeds, or snakes and spiders that may have been lurking around the next corner. Nor did the thought of bums that may have taken up residence concern me, ‘cuz well… I made friends easily. I certainly wasn’t going to worry myself with getting in trouble, because who was going to be in any of these godforsaken, abandoned places anyway? Besides, if some law enforcement happened to show…remember—people like me. None of that ‘what if’ shit ever registered with my head-strong lil Aries Soul. The rules were never for me, and when confronted with one, it always felt like a challenge to be immediately broken, just because it dared to exist in my presence.  

I came across a picture today of an old, deserted Victorian home, similar to the one in which I grew up in Maine. I was struck, as I always am, by my love and intrigue for the abandoned and neglected. My first remembrance of this was as a child, exploring Mrs. LaSalle's all but forgotten, scary building behind her home. She was an elderly, unkind woman and former teacher. Inside this odd building were damp and dusty books with pictures of naked body parts and galaxies that surely contained the mysteries of the Universe to a 6-year-olds imagination. To make it even creepier,  a real-life skeleton lurked in the corner. There was never much light in there, it had a weird smell and you can imagine the crazy stories the neighborhood kids would make up about this mysterious place. I was warned repeatedly not to go in there but the place just oozed with the dark and unknown and I couldn’t help myself. 

I’m taking a couple of classes currently, one on depth psychology and the other on the shadow and astrology, so I decided to explore this curiosity a little more. This fascination of neglected and abandoned buildings has been a theme in my dreams and in life has expanded into retrieving, reclaiming and renovating places like that. The home I’m in now was abandoned for over a year when it landed in my lap, in desperate need of some TLC. Needless to say, with a little help, lots of cleaning, painting, love and sweat equity, I’ve shined it up to a proper palace worthy of this goddess. 

AddPhoto Cred: @szary.burek on Instagram

When I lived on a beautiful property I called The Enchanted Cottage, I went to work (often with the assistance of others—but always driven by my love of the place) at reclaiming the forested acre lot. It was completely over-grown and hardly walkable. By the end of my 10 years of devoted service, there were twig-lined paths, a renovated tree-house, and countless herbs, flowers, and bird-feeders scattered perfectly about. Many of the trees I’d climbed myself to place twinkly lights and hang wind chimes to make it extra magical. 

Why, though? Why couldn’t I just find the perfect spot from the beginning? Why did I always have to feel like I was rescuing something? Well… enter junior psychologist. Maybe it's because I’ve felt abandoned, neglected and unwanted. Hmmm...way to go Sherlock. It's always been my core wounding. I have been reclaiming myself through rescuing birds with broken wings, feeding small, wild creatures, and providing a roof and warm meal to various friends and family members in need for years. I’m the one inviting all those folks with no place to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas over for dinner. I’ve always gotten into homes bigger than I needed just in case…somebody else needs a spot. I’ve never wanted anyone to feel abandoned on my watch, or to feel alone without assistance in a cold, cruel world. Always providing a message of hope for the weary traveler of life. “Ooh, child….things are going to get easier and brighter.” Oh…how sweet, lil Laurie. No….that wasn’t it. 

It was all just bread crumbs from my soul regarding my deepest shadow desire to be loved and nurtured arising from my deepest shadow fear of being rejected and abandoned. For someone to say to me, you…YOU are worth saving. YOU are worth my time, effort and industry to see that you have all that you need to thrive, dear one. I adore all that you are. Every crack and crevice, every shadow and unexplored dark and dreary place within…every pettiness, meanness, and smallness. I will love all of those places inside of you every bit as much (and maybe more) as all your magnificent, outstanding, exceptional and exquisite places. Your brilliant, sacred, and beautiful Soul I will revere along with your grace, freedom, and wisdom. I embrace all that you are, with every bit of my heart and soul. You will never want for anything and I will always cradle you within my arms like the wide-open Universe holds its treasured stars, planets, and galaxies. You will be cherished and adored as if the hope of all humanity resides in your perfect blossoming and unfolding. You are that important to all of creation. 

Is that not our deepest desire? To be loved and cherished exactly as we are in this moment, and all past and future moments? To be so cherished that none would ever dream of casting us off? 

We are that important to all of creation. We are here to heal ourselves from our perceived brokenness over lifetimes. We are here to gather up all the seeming fragments of our Soul over eons of misunderstood abuse, poverty, rejection, and abandonment. We are here to feel all of the rage, shame, guilt, apathy, fear, pride, and grief of those lifetimes and transmute and transcend it all to higher levels of consciousness where all of it is accepted, honored and embraced. Where none of the shadow aspects of humanity are left behind but are loved into wholeness. We feel, therefore we are. We embrace all because we are one.  

Where have you ever felt rejected and abandoned, and how can you go about not doing that same thing to yourSelf any longer? How and where do you deserve reclaiming? How can you give yourSelf that gift? Where have you been orphaned? What aspects of yourself have you just completely neglected like some red-headed step-child? Is it your health? Weight? Spirituality? Anger? Desire? Your passions? What have you put on the shelf and said, ‘you will have to wait’…or 'you don’t deserve this or that' or 'that isn’t important right now'? And how dare you deny your Soul its very life, breath, and passion? Who are you (shell/ego/boss) to say your art will have to wait…finding love will have to wait…taking care of your body will have to wait… being angry will have to wait? How dare you? How dare you deny yourself well-being, vitality, excitement, and joy. For what? And 'til when? (When do you get to reclaim and renovate your Soul?) 

This isn’t about blaming or shaming somebody for not giving these things to you. This isn’t about finding the right somebody that will be all that for you. It's about reclaiming ourSelves, ourSelves. It is about loving ourSelves and our perceived stories of being cast-off, abused and abandoned and making it right within ourSelves by refusing to continue the abuse. It’s about us loving us enough to allow ourSelves everything that we need and desire. It’s about feeling worthy and giving ourselves permission to eat the cake, paint the picture, explore unchartered territory within ourSelves. It's about having the curiosity to explore those hidden depths of our own psyche like a lover. It's about feeling all the love and compassion of our Higher Selves, knowing all was purposeful and for our benefit. It's about giving ourSelves permission to fully love the entirety of our own Selves with the wild, ecstatic abandon of the Divine that resides within us. 

I realized my love for this exploration of seemingly dark and abandoned places has translated so beautifully into my life’s work, mission, and passion. Through reclaiming and renovating my own Soul, by acknowledging, loving and embracing all the parts I felt were unlovable, undesirable, and unwanted within mySelf,  I can now love and honor them in others. Where there was judgment, I now find acceptance.

I've come to the realization that what I find lurking in the shadows of another has become the most beautiful to me. It is their darkness I long to embrace, the perfection in their seeming imperfection that holds my intrigue. Perhaps it's because they hide it from most and I feel honored and trusted when they allow that aspect of themselves out in my presence. Maybe it's because it's the most intimate and vulnerable place within us and as such feels so fragile and everything in me wants to provide a soft landing for its exploration. 

I believe the work of self-discovery into our own depths is the greatest journey we'll ever take. To excavate what we've demonized or abandoned, to find what we've suppressed, repressed, denied and projected in all the various ways and then to lovingly bring it to the surface and into the Light is an act of tremendous courage and bravery. There is nothing more exciting or intriguing to me than the reclamation of seemingly lost Souls (to themselves, only) and their restoration to wholeness. It's always a beautiful thing when our wounds turn into wisdom to heal and bless others. 

So…how do you approach shadow work? Have you taken that deep dive? Do you plunge in head first, with intrigue and excitement like me, or are you the more cautious, trepidatious type? Maybe you’re afraid of what you may find in that abandoned building—a bum, robber, rapist or monster? Maybe it feels like an old lean-to— dangerous, dilapidated, and unsafe in there? Perhaps you read the 'do not enter sign' and you believe someone else knows better than you and you should definitely take heed of the rules. Maybe you fear the consequences of disobedience? Or perhaps you've cast an invisible cloak around your shadow a long time ago and don't even think yours exists. Just notice, what's your typical jam when it comes to this kind of Soul work. 

And if you don't know where to start and you happen to deserve a guide, I may just be your girl!  Blessings beautiful, shadow explorers. May the Light of your own Soul guide you on your path to freedom and Self-love.