Wednesday, September 1, 2010

No Ordinary Love

Do you desire a relationship that transcends time? Do you dream of finding your Soul Mate? Do you crave a love so big that nothing on the planet can tear apart? Do you long to lie next to a partner that you can completely expose your heart and soul to that will embrace every part of your past, present and future no matter what it contains? Do you dream of a partner who is truly your best friend but has equal passion and desire for you…someone who adores your spirit but wants to rip your clothes off at the same time?

We all SAY we want it…I know most of you are eagerly nodding your heads, some of you even yelled out, “yes, yes, give me some of that!!!...I’ll have what SHE’S having!” Well, it isn’t that easy…sorry. It requires something. What are you willing to do and/or go through for that kind of love if you knew it existed? And how do you know it exists? If you desire it and can imagine it…it exists and it is there to be had or should I say CREATE.

Are you willing to be alone for an indefinite amount of time and surpass all instant gratification? Are you willing to be celibate and WAIT? Are you willing to say NO to all offers when you feel like you’re dying of loneliness? Are you willing to cut off all friendships and associations that are not in alignment with the kind of partner and /or life you wish to create? For example, if you desire a monogamous relationship are you willing to distance yourself from all others who are not creating that? ARE YOU WILLING TO BE EVERYTHING THAT YOU WISH TO CREATE and forsake everything you wish NOT to create?

Are you willing to COMPLETELY SURRENDER EVERYTHING? Are you willing to give up all your hobbies, friends, career, and material stuff in order to create something brand new TOGETHER?

It is in that space of pure love, consciousness and total surrender from which TRUE partnership has the fertile soil to grow. We must surrender all of our attachments to our previous life…willing to give up ALL for LOVE. Nothing but your relationship with Self/God/Source may you place above this Love…not your children, religion, ambition, interests, career or even dharma.

When you come together in this space and place of uncertainty, yet total TRUST …completely naked and stripped of all you have known and clung to, therein lays depth, adventure, mystery and fun. It is here that ALL possibilities now exist…ones that were never there before. A whole new ENTITY is born. You now choose TOGETHER what you desire to create…maybe you will choose everything that you came in with, maybe you will keep some of it and let some go…maybe you will create an entirely new world. The point is, if you desire this kind of love, you must be willing to surrender EVERYTHING for it in order to put your beloved in the center of your Universe.

From this new world springs forth honor, devotion, understanding, compassion, loyalty, respect, faithfulness, joyful service, tenderness, adoration, laughter, serenity, sacred-union, worship, communication, sensuality, vulnerability, passion, strength, friendship, consideration, and true equally yoked PARTNERSHIP.

Most people are not willing or able to completely surrender themselves, or their egos to truly MERGE with another. Most may not even know this is what it takes or maybe they have no desire for such a union. Many are happy to go about their lives, status quo as if they have merely acquired a new car, status symbol or another trophy to put on their shelf. As if they had just crossed another thing off their list of things to accomplishments in life…marriage…check. They may make some minor adjustments like making room in their closet and dividing household chores. But basically, there is someone new in your house yet you are still ALONE.

I’ve done that kind of marriage/partnership…it is nothing I will choose to create again. I found it to be very empty and lonely. You do YOUR thing, I do mine…you have YOUR goals…I have MINE…you have YOUR kids…I have MINE…YOU have YOUR friends and I have MINE. What’s the point? It is an arrangement—it’s about convenience…it’s about laziness and settling.

The Sacred Partnership that I am creating will be a true union and merging of souls. Imagine the roots of two trees being brought together…they begin to intermingle…they become ONE…and the TREE emerges as a brand new beautiful entity unto itself. When you think of that union and that couple you see them as one unit…even when they are apart their love is so big the others “essence” is always present…because they carry their beloved and cherish that love wherever they are. They speak highly of each other; admire, respect and honor each other. They don’t make major decisions without the others input. They consider each other’s feelings. They don’t have friends the other is uncomfortable with or those that do not fully support their relationship. They have no interest in flirting with the opposite sex. They are not afraid to publically declare their love for each other. They don’t want to be apart…they are happier together. They sleep naked next to each other every night whether they have sex or not…it’s about the intimacy, vulnerability and complete exposure physically as well as metaphorically. They have lots of inside jokes and pet names for each other. They hold each other’s hearts in their hands like a fragile flower they want to protect, water and nourish.

So you get the idea…as the song goes…”this is no ORDINARY love….” Not for the faint of heart, may not be for the very young either. This love must almost come after a lifetime of contrasts….of doing things just the opposite, of broken-hearts and dreams. It usually comes after decades of betrayal and being betrayed, lack of communication, selfishness and ambition, constant complaining and bickering, lack of intimacy and consideration, insecurities and jealousies and mostly a lack of self-worth and authenticity.

This “BIG LOVE” of which I speak requires the equal effort and desire of two people. This is not something you merely FALL INTO because you love each other. This love requires equal conscious CO-CREATION EVERY DAY…like I said, it’s not for the lazy or faint of heart…it requires something special…and in the words of Eat, Pray Love author Elizabeth Gilbert, which I will take a little artistic liberty… “You don’t need a MAN (or WOMAN) you deserve a CHAMPION!!!

If this is what you desire to create just BE THAT CHAMPION and never settle for anything less!!


  1. Just read your blog.....very cool, if two people can actually arrive there together, it sounds like the most extraordinary and frightening place in the universe......your a good writer.

  2. Thanks, Anthony...I say feel the fear and dive right in...what's your alternative...I only have one life to be Laurie Frazier...may as well play full out! I think it was Thoreau that said something like, "oh, reach the point of death and realize you have never lived"...that's not the alternative I choose!

  3. I could almost copy and paste the list of traits from this entry on to my "dream come true" list..... the traits you listed "honor, understanding, compassion, loyalty, respect, faithfulness, joyful service, tenderness, adoration, laughter, serenity, sacred-union, worship, communication, sensuality, vulnerability, passion, strength, friendship, consideration, and true equally yoked PARTNERSHIP." this is what we all deserve and should strive to be !!!! thanks again for helping me in my quest!!

  4. Beautifully written. I once wrote the following about the partner I was looking for:

    Someone that will inspire me to be the best that I can, that will make my heart flutter when you are near and my soul yearn when you are not. That can speak volumes with the twinkle of your eyes, or the tender touch of your hand. That will be a Florence Nightingale to the downhearted, a Joan of Arc to the oppressed, and a Cleopatra to me. Someone that I can worship and adore but who will stand supportive by my side. Who rejoices in motherhood and will be a queen in my home. Who will delight in traveling the world and yet rejoice to be home. That has a fascination for nature and a reverence for life. Someone with whom I can look into their eyes and see the eternities.

    Perhaps it is time to rewrite that to reflect more of the "US" and less of the "HER."

  5. I have found this type of love after a lifetime of failures in relationships. It is the most beautiful, nourishing, peaceful, eternal, ecstatic all encompassing love I have ever known. I am the happiest girl/woman on the planet and treasure every moment with my spirit twin. He was worth waiting a lifetime for :) I love this description you have written as it is an affirmation of my true path in love. I wish this joy for all of humanity.