HOME!!!

So as many of you know, I moved to Detroit the end of August.  I moved because I felt it was the right thing for me. In fact, I had no doubt about it. I left a life that was really great. I left my home, the Enchanted Cottage, that always felt like a soulmate. I was in love with the views of the mountains, all the trees, deer, birds and other critters that I fed religiously. I had the best friends here that most people would envy. Not just acquaintances, though I had many of those, but true, deep, tribe/family kind of friends. I also left several teaching/training positions and clients that i absolutely adored as well. I left it all without regret, with total gratitude for everything that I had here. I left with no back door—nobody sub-leasing my place, no stuff stored to come back to in case things didn’t work out. I gave everything away and left willingly and joyfully to embrace the next step on my journey. 

On September 21st I moved back. Yup. I’ve had some people ask me if I were embarrassed or did I feel like I came back with my ‘tail between my legs’, like “wow, I sure mis-judged this one”. The fact of the matter is, no. Not for a minute do I feel bad or regret my choice.  I listened to my heart and I followed. I had no doubt  about what i was doing and I went willingly. I am proud of mySelf for having the courage to make such a bold move. I am proud of mySelf for being willing to leave and let go of everything I held/hold dear. I am happy with myself for how I behaved, how willing I was to merge my life with another, and though most would say, “oh, it didn’t work out,” I say that it worked out perfectly. I don’t feel like I could have done anything differently or better. I feel like I gave it my total attention, made adjustments without compromising or complaint and remained true to myself. 

Even though I lived at the zoo, the one room I claimed and spent most of my time in, over looked the freeway, and I would occasionally see a turkey vulture fly overhead. I didn’t have the same kind of views and there was very little space for me and the few things I didn’t give away, which consisted of my books and a portion of my clothes. I did put out one of my Buddha statues and the other 25 sat on top of a single shelf in the one room I called my own. I was ok with that because that’s not why I went there. I went to experience partnership. I did my best to immersed myself in that. I told myself, it is the person that I am with that is most important, not the space or the location. While there is truth to that, I’m quite clear that for myself, my personal physical space inside and what I see out my windows are really important to my highest happiness. I got even more clear about some of my preferences when I moved. 

Although I have always made any space I have work for me, to really thrive and be creative, I much prefer to be immersed in nature. Being the homebody that I am, I do much better with trees and wildlife out of every window. While I’m doing life, writing, cooking, cleaning, showering, meeting with clients, etc I want to be surrounded by nature. I prefer to not be near a lot of traffic or high density population. I prefer to have nature’s beauty within my eye’s reach. You all know I’m that person that says, “Squirrell!!!” only every time I see one :)  

As nice as it is to have a partner, I kinda prefer to be the boss of me. I prefer working (which is my passion and dharma) to staying home cooking and playing house. I prefer having a few good friends around. I prefer living close to my kids. No matter what anyone else says, I actually like/love my free-spirited, strong-willed, free-thinking, non-conservative, smart, savvy, sometimes messy Self just the way I am :)) Thank-you very much. 

I’m grateful for my experience, I’m grateful for what I learned about me. I would do it all over again for all that I have gained because of it. I will continue to follow my heart, even when it doesn’t look very wise to others. I will continue to open my heart to whatever life brings next. I learned that I’m ok with whatever happens in my life. I’ve learned that I can let everything and anything go in my life and still be ok. I am not defined by my things, or my stuff.  I’ve learned on a deeper level how brave, courageous, and accepting of ‘all that is’ that I am. I trust mySelf on a whole new level. And though I may not be every body’s ‘cup of tea’, I’m quite happy with who I am and who I’ve become in this incarnation thus far. I feel like my life is just getting started…funny… it’s how I always feel. There is always a new beginning in any given now moment. Perfect timing to come back on the Fall Equinox, with Navaratri beginning last night and Rosh Hashanah at sundown tonight!! Very auspicious if you ask me.