How Do You Curate Beauty?

On March 13, 2020, in the early days of the covid-19 quarantine, I made a very simple post that said this,

“This is a corona-free zone. Don’t contribute to the chaos. Please. Do whatever is in your power to stay out of fear. Your anxiety, panic, hoarding mentality, and chaos contributes to the collective vibe. Energy... it’s a thing. Clean up your space by being positive, sharing your toilet paper😂, talking about your grandkids, your new projects and things you’re passionate about. Be kind. Have compassion. Tell some jokes. Eat healthy delicious food. 

If you’re going to tap into your fear.... maybe dig a lil deeper and see what it’s triggered within and what it’s really about. Do some work around it. It won’t be just about this dumb virus. There will be more. Learn to be the peace within which is your birthright. But it’s a practice, peeps. It requires some conscious effort like meditation, spending time in nature and silence. If you did any of that more than tapping into the crazy, you’d be good. Peace in Peeps.”🙏🏼💕🌙

Below it I’d taken a picture of me in that moment, legs crossed in my fave leggings, eating some delicious organic coconut yogurt with nuts and a bowl of berries on the side, I had a beautiful version of Hare Krishna by Wah! playing in the background. In the picture happened to be this huge book of Buddha in pinks and blues that perfectly matched the rug I’d intentionally placed it by. What you can’t see is that I’d just read a beautiful verse form the Rig Veda.  On the picture I wrote:

Relax People

Eat some healthy food

Read some uplifting books

Listen to some holy tunes

Make yourself a cup of tea and…

Breathe

I was surprised by how many shares and likes that simple post received. For me, it was just a very typical morning in my life of how I’ve started my day for years and similarly for decades. Carefully chosen organic healthy food, holy, inspiring music and texts, meditation and mindfulness. It has created a rock-solid foundation for me that keeps me grounded and at peace amidst all kinds of storms and chaos. 

I believe that what we seek, we will always find, whether it’s positive or negative. When I was a young teen, I had a poster I’d hung near my bed of some people hiking on a beautiful, sunny, autumn day. The quote on the poster was from the Bible Jeremiah 29:13 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” I kept it for years, brought it to college with me and it gladdened my heart and inspired me so much. I was clear, that if I had a question, I would find the answer. 

I used to say I was a seeker of truth, reading all the holy books, venturing out to all the different churches, investing in a degree in theology from the Jesuits at Boston College. I was a serious seeker. What I’ve come to see is that I’ve concurrently been a seeker of beauty. In fact, I can hardly separate the two. I can so relate and feel straight to my bones the line from Keats poem, Ode on a Grecian Urn:

 "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all

                Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

Beauty—it’s one of my highest values. I see it everywhere and in everything. I find it in places that most wouldn’t, in my own heart-break and devastation, in the joyful faces of people in India living in abject poverty, at the end of fall, just before winter when everything is dead and colorless. I see beauty. I can’t not see it in literally everything. 

I create beauty in my surroundings, inside and out. I decorate my home not by anyone else’s standards, but by that which brings joy to my heart. The perfect whimsical pillows in just the right spot, the fuzzy rugs, and blankets, the holy statues gathered from around the world of Buddhas, goddesses, and planets. I have altars in various rooms and live plants and bonsais that become friends. I place bird feeders out every window and keep them filled to attract more friends that delight my 5-year-old-heart at every sighting. Outside I make every yard I live in better than when I found it, raking old leaves, gathering unwanted debris, planting herbs and flowers, putting up twinkly lights in all the right spots, setting up cozy sitting areas, fire-pits and hammocks. I create beauty.

I curate beauty by knowing who I am and what delights and inspires my Soul. I love this verb ‘to curate’. It means to collect, select and present information or items for people to use or enjoy, using your professional or expert knowledge. A curator is a keeper or custodian of a museum or other collection. A curator has expert knowledge and gathers that which is relevant. Become a ‘conscious curator’ of your Soul and surround yourself with all that brings you joy and nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Do you know what those things are? 

For starters, I buy the healthiest, most delicious organic food that my budget allows. I prefer to mindfully prepare my food to going out to dinners, or take-out. I enjoy infusing my food with love for those I have the privilege to share it with. I surround mySelf with the most inspiring, high calibrating books and refer to them often and share what I’ve found with those around me. I like to buy things that have spiritual meaning and significance to me to place around my home to inspire. I only buy clothes that I absolutely love, in fabrics and colors that I find nurturing and comfortable to be myself in.

It makes sense that I’d also curate my friends and the people I spend time with. I’ve let go of many that drained my energy and vitality with negativity and victim mentality. I hold close to those that are authentic, can tell me like it is, and that feel good to my heart. It’s a much smaller circle, but what it lacks in breadth it more than makes up for in depth, sincerity, and warmth. 

In these more quiet times of quarantine and social distancing, use your time wisely. Remember that old saying, “cleanliness is next to godliness.” I hated it as a messy kid, now however, I totally get it. Messes and disorganization distract us, it’s like background noise you don’t like.  A friend of mine calls it psychic drag. Go through your home, if you don’t love something, give it away or repurpose it. Clean up the piles, manage the paper, hang up your clothes, and organize all your stuff. Now everything you did externally, go within and do some spring-cleaning of your Soul. Let go, forgive, move on, quit your addictions, write the letter, send the text, make the phone call. Integrate, purge, embody, transform. 

Any area of your life you’ve declared a disaster zone, clean it up, fix it or let it go. How can you make these areas more beautiful? First, you can inject love. Love is always the answer, no matter the question, a wise lil owl once told me. Second, you can change your perspective about the situation, by seeing the 10,000-foot view. What’s good about the situation, or what could be good about it? How could you re-frame things to write a better story that is more in alignment with the truth you want to live? 

You have been gifted some much-needed down-time. Ask yourSelf the big questions like who am I, what do a really want and what is my purpose here?  If you find it difficult to just rest in the quiet and be with yourself without turning on the tv, or incessant social media, ask yourself why. What are you avoiding? What don’t you want to see? Survey all areas of your life for what’s authentic and what isn’t. What areas light you up and make your heart smile and which areas feel heavy, no fun and out-worn? Where do you see beauty and where does your life deserve an overhaul? 

The things that are true for you, that are genuine and authentic, will always be beautiful. They will energize and enliven you. The things that are fake and false, that insult your soul, are not for you and will never be sustainable. When you try to be that which you are not, it is life-draining. When you try to fit in at a job you hate, with friends that don’t share your values, or do things just because everybody else is or you feel it’s what’s expected of you, it will always feel heavy. Fake, false and inauthentic equals life-suck and soul-less.  Authentic, true and genuine equals beauty and soul-full.  

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." Choose beauty. Choose truth. Choose you. It’s all you need to know. #ISEEBEAUTY

“I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of heart’s affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as Beauty must be truth whether it existed before or not. For I have the same idea of all our passions as of love, they are all in their sublime, creative of essential beauty….”~John Keats in his letter to Amy Lowell

Rescue Mission To Reclaim the Neglected & Abandoned

Photo Cred: @kimzier11 Instagram

Does anybody else love exploring old and abandoned buildings? I've had a passion for this since I could walk. What’s that?!? What is in THERE? With wild abandon I still charge past the no trespassing and do not enter signs, as if they were invisible and certainly never intended for me. Those are for people that live in fear and follow the rules for their own safety and all the other bullshit they were taught. I certainly wasn’t afraid of crumbling buildings, overgrown weeds, or snakes and spiders that may have been lurking around the next corner. Nor did the thought of bums that may have taken up residence concern me, ‘cuz well… I made friends easily. I certainly wasn’t going to worry myself with getting in trouble, because who was going to be in any of these godforsaken, abandoned places anyway? Besides, if some law enforcement happened to show…remember—people like me. None of that ‘what if’ shit ever registered with my head-strong lil Aries Soul. The rules were never for me, and when confronted with one, it always felt like a challenge to be immediately broken, just because it dared to exist in my presence.  

I came across a picture today of an old, deserted Victorian home, similar to the one in which I grew up in Maine. I was struck, as I always am, by my love and intrigue for the abandoned and neglected. My first remembrance of this was as a child, exploring Mrs. LaSalle's all but forgotten, scary building behind her home. She was an elderly, unkind woman and former teacher. Inside this odd building were damp and dusty books with pictures of naked body parts and galaxies that surely contained the mysteries of the Universe to a 6-year-olds imagination. To make it even creepier,  a real-life skeleton lurked in the corner. There was never much light in there, it had a weird smell and you can imagine the crazy stories the neighborhood kids would make up about this mysterious place. I was warned repeatedly not to go in there but the place just oozed with the dark and unknown and I couldn’t help myself. 

I’m taking a couple of classes currently, one on depth psychology and the other on the shadow and astrology, so I decided to explore this curiosity a little more. This fascination of neglected and abandoned buildings has been a theme in my dreams and in life has expanded into retrieving, reclaiming and renovating places like that. The home I’m in now was abandoned for over a year when it landed in my lap, in desperate need of some TLC. Needless to say, with a little help, lots of cleaning, painting, love and sweat equity, I’ve shined it up to a proper palace worthy of this goddess. 

AddPhoto Cred: @szary.burek on Instagram

When I lived on a beautiful property I called The Enchanted Cottage, I went to work (often with the assistance of others—but always driven by my love of the place) at reclaiming the forested acre lot. It was completely over-grown and hardly walkable. By the end of my 10 years of devoted service, there were twig-lined paths, a renovated tree-house, and countless herbs, flowers, and bird-feeders scattered perfectly about. Many of the trees I’d climbed myself to place twinkly lights and hang wind chimes to make it extra magical. 

Why, though? Why couldn’t I just find the perfect spot from the beginning? Why did I always have to feel like I was rescuing something? Well… enter junior psychologist. Maybe it's because I’ve felt abandoned, neglected and unwanted. Hmmm...way to go Sherlock. It's always been my core wounding. I have been reclaiming myself through rescuing birds with broken wings, feeding small, wild creatures, and providing a roof and warm meal to various friends and family members in need for years. I’m the one inviting all those folks with no place to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas over for dinner. I’ve always gotten into homes bigger than I needed just in case…somebody else needs a spot. I’ve never wanted anyone to feel abandoned on my watch, or to feel alone without assistance in a cold, cruel world. Always providing a message of hope for the weary traveler of life. “Ooh, child….things are going to get easier and brighter.” Oh…how sweet, lil Laurie. No….that wasn’t it. 

It was all just bread crumbs from my soul regarding my deepest shadow desire to be loved and nurtured arising from my deepest shadow fear of being rejected and abandoned. For someone to say to me, you…YOU are worth saving. YOU are worth my time, effort and industry to see that you have all that you need to thrive, dear one. I adore all that you are. Every crack and crevice, every shadow and unexplored dark and dreary place within…every pettiness, meanness, and smallness. I will love all of those places inside of you every bit as much (and maybe more) as all your magnificent, outstanding, exceptional and exquisite places. Your brilliant, sacred, and beautiful Soul I will revere along with your grace, freedom, and wisdom. I embrace all that you are, with every bit of my heart and soul. You will never want for anything and I will always cradle you within my arms like the wide-open Universe holds its treasured stars, planets, and galaxies. You will be cherished and adored as if the hope of all humanity resides in your perfect blossoming and unfolding. You are that important to all of creation. 

Is that not our deepest desire? To be loved and cherished exactly as we are in this moment, and all past and future moments? To be so cherished that none would ever dream of casting us off? 

We are that important to all of creation. We are here to heal ourselves from our perceived brokenness over lifetimes. We are here to gather up all the seeming fragments of our Soul over eons of misunderstood abuse, poverty, rejection, and abandonment. We are here to feel all of the rage, shame, guilt, apathy, fear, pride, and grief of those lifetimes and transmute and transcend it all to higher levels of consciousness where all of it is accepted, honored and embraced. Where none of the shadow aspects of humanity are left behind but are loved into wholeness. We feel, therefore we are. We embrace all because we are one.  

Where have you ever felt rejected and abandoned, and how can you go about not doing that same thing to yourSelf any longer? How and where do you deserve reclaiming? How can you give yourSelf that gift? Where have you been orphaned? What aspects of yourself have you just completely neglected like some red-headed step-child? Is it your health? Weight? Spirituality? Anger? Desire? Your passions? What have you put on the shelf and said, ‘you will have to wait’…or 'you don’t deserve this or that' or 'that isn’t important right now'? And how dare you deny your Soul its very life, breath, and passion? Who are you (shell/ego/boss) to say your art will have to wait…finding love will have to wait…taking care of your body will have to wait… being angry will have to wait? How dare you? How dare you deny yourself well-being, vitality, excitement, and joy. For what? And 'til when? (When do you get to reclaim and renovate your Soul?) 

This isn’t about blaming or shaming somebody for not giving these things to you. This isn’t about finding the right somebody that will be all that for you. It's about reclaiming ourSelves, ourSelves. It is about loving ourSelves and our perceived stories of being cast-off, abused and abandoned and making it right within ourSelves by refusing to continue the abuse. It’s about us loving us enough to allow ourSelves everything that we need and desire. It’s about feeling worthy and giving ourselves permission to eat the cake, paint the picture, explore unchartered territory within ourSelves. It's about having the curiosity to explore those hidden depths of our own psyche like a lover. It's about feeling all the love and compassion of our Higher Selves, knowing all was purposeful and for our benefit. It's about giving ourSelves permission to fully love the entirety of our own Selves with the wild, ecstatic abandon of the Divine that resides within us. 

I realized my love for this exploration of seemingly dark and abandoned places has translated so beautifully into my life’s work, mission, and passion. Through reclaiming and renovating my own Soul, by acknowledging, loving and embracing all the parts I felt were unlovable, undesirable, and unwanted within mySelf,  I can now love and honor them in others. Where there was judgment, I now find acceptance.

I've come to the realization that what I find lurking in the shadows of another has become the most beautiful to me. It is their darkness I long to embrace, the perfection in their seeming imperfection that holds my intrigue. Perhaps it's because they hide it from most and I feel honored and trusted when they allow that aspect of themselves out in my presence. Maybe it's because it's the most intimate and vulnerable place within us and as such feels so fragile and everything in me wants to provide a soft landing for its exploration. 

I believe the work of self-discovery into our own depths is the greatest journey we'll ever take. To excavate what we've demonized or abandoned, to find what we've suppressed, repressed, denied and projected in all the various ways and then to lovingly bring it to the surface and into the Light is an act of tremendous courage and bravery. There is nothing more exciting or intriguing to me than the reclamation of seemingly lost Souls (to themselves, only) and their restoration to wholeness. It's always a beautiful thing when our wounds turn into wisdom to heal and bless others. 

So…how do you approach shadow work? Have you taken that deep dive? Do you plunge in head first, with intrigue and excitement like me, or are you the more cautious, trepidatious type? Maybe you’re afraid of what you may find in that abandoned building—a bum, robber, rapist or monster? Maybe it feels like an old lean-to— dangerous, dilapidated, and unsafe in there? Perhaps you read the 'do not enter sign' and you believe someone else knows better than you and you should definitely take heed of the rules. Maybe you fear the consequences of disobedience? Or perhaps you've cast an invisible cloak around your shadow a long time ago and don't even think yours exists. Just notice, what's your typical jam when it comes to this kind of Soul work. 

And if you don't know where to start and you happen to deserve a guide, I may just be your girl!  Blessings beautiful, shadow explorers. May the Light of your own Soul guide you on your path to freedom and Self-love. 

Peace—A Simple Start

Dear Humans…

So you’re not a world leader…what can you do to create peace on Earth?

We are living in what feels like very uncertain times where nothing feels stable anymore and everything seems to be changing and undergoing massive disruption. Rest assured, this is on purpose. Radical transformation is necessary on every level of life from a world perspective between governments and nations, to our blessed Pancha Mamma in upheaval with fires and calamity all about, to our justified concerns about the quality of our air and water, to the perversion of our food through pesticides and GMO's, to the whoredoms of big pharma at the absolute detriment of our health, to the bastardization of religion at the detriment of our spiritual well-being, to the destructive programming of our sacred littles in public education. (Think Jesus overturning the tables of the money changers in the temple court.) That’s how I see what’s happening in our world right now. Transformation, overthrow, do-over—it’s time. The universe, earth, humans, animals, and plants say ENOUGH! Whatever we’ve been doing isn’t working—or it’s working perfectly to wreak enough havoc so people have to up their give-a-shit-quotient and wake up from their Muggle-Slumber. This won't be a quick fix and will require all hands on deck.

Change is challenging for many of us. And if you're of the ilk that attempts to keep everything in your life ‘status quo’ and smooth-like, this may be an even more difficult time for you. The upset in our personal lives is just a microcosm of the macrocosm. Our current state of global affairs is simply a reflection of our planetary collective (un)conscious. No person, organization, world leader, or institution of any kind, is to blame other than ourSelves. This is OUR collective doing. Every bit of it. We can no longer point our fingers outside of ourselves and blame another because we are the other. We will NEVER heal that way. Separation, duality and an 'us vs them' mentality are what has us in this place.

What can lil old you possibly do to make a difference in this crazy world? 

First of all, you can stop complaining, bitching, moaning and whining. Until we step out of our personal victim-mentality and take radical personal responsibility and ownership for the heaven or shit-show of our lives, and actually do something about it and stop blaming and/or expecting our government, our ex, our parents, our boss, etc to fix it, bail us out, or save us—we will remain in this mess. Nothing will get better and like Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men (and women) to do nothing.” Most of us have all been doing NOTHING for way too long, and it is exactly the reason we are here now. Regardless of what we’ve been programmed to believe, we are NOT helpless. We contain all of the power—we just don’t realize it.

How do we fix it? How can we create peace, when we’re not the ones with access to that red phone? I have a few ideas. Let’s keep it simple for now.


1. Stop clinging to a life you hate because of your fear. Let it go. Let go of everything that enslaves you. It's costing you! If you are in a marriage, partnership, job, religion, or personal belief system that feels like it is draining your life-force and vitality, get the fuck out. If you are in a marriage because you are afraid you can’t make it on your own, or your church/beliefs told you to stay no matter what and it isn’t authentic for you—it’s killing you. Same with your job, if you dread it and can not find anything about it to like—it’s killing you. As David Whyte more eloquently puts it, “Anything that does not bring you alive is too (fucking) small for you.” And allow me to add, if it is too small for you, then it is most likely draining you. If it is an energy suck and not an energy boost, your mood and level of consciousness will remain low af. When your emotions are resonating at the frequency of apathy, anger, grief, shame or guilt, your health will also be in the gutter. HOW YOU FEEL MATTERS! If it’s not life-affirming, it’s life draining. Ask yourSelf if how you are living is nourishing your Soul or if it’s toxic? You can not change the world living in a toxic environment. Change it or get out!

2. Follow your heart and your authentic bliss….it will lead you right into your life purpose. What do you care about? What makes you cry? What lights your soul on fire? Almost always our dharma is connected to how we can assist and serve others. What is your gift? How do you bring Light into a dark world? What is that thing you do that always feels like a contribution and makes you happy and proud inside? Do that!! Pursue THAT!! Do more of it! Either figure out how to earn a living doing it or do it on the side as much as you can. It will bring you joy!! Joy is a high frequency!! It will attract more good things and give everyone around you permission to live in their own joy.

3. Cultivate inner peace. No, it’s not that hard. Once you have courageously let go of what is toxic and are boldly pursuing that which is nourishing, you will inevitably experience more joy and clarity. Knowing that you are on the right path of liberation and purpose creates an environment of inner peace and is an absolute byproduct of your clarity and vision. From the alchemist "To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation." When people everywhere start stepping into their own brilliance and power, and not waiting for someone else to do it for them, they will develop a sense of self-worth and confidence. Their happiness will grow when they are BE-ing the Light instead of draining someone else’s. We can not expect peace in the world until we can create peace in our own families, tribes, and communities. If you can’t divorce consciously and amicably without a war, you are to blame for wars between nations. If you’re a hater, you add to the collective hate vibe on the planet. Figure that shit out! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist. As is the microcosm, so is the macrocosm. YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE—whether you consciously know it or not. Choose to be conscious about what your contribution is to the collective. 

So what can YOU do? CREATE PEACE in your own sphere of influence. Stop pointing the finger of blame elsewhere and look inside yourself. It’s the ONLY place YOU can make a difference, initially. Want world peace? Transform the anger, rage, bitterness, and apathy in your own Soul first. Then, you will be liberated from your chains that bind, your heart will feel light, your mind will be clear and YOU will be BEING the fucking change, already. Imagine what would be possible if you dropped all of your toxic bullshit, you might have beautiful expansive ideas instead of hateful contracting ones. You would be free to pursue your truth and purpose instead of spending your time seeking revenge and placing blame everywhere outside of yourself.

Imagine if we all acknowledged our own part in the devastation of our planet and decided to make an about-face and at least rectify our own negative output with something more authentic and positive. Imagine a wave of that across our beautiful planet. Imagine refusing to commiserate with all the Muggle’s complaints about the President, and world affairs. Imagine instead, sharing your bliss about what you are doing that helps you feel joy and creates peace within YOU. The world is waiting for us to wake up, show up and shine. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Release your toxic life and relationships, follow your heart, cultivate inner peace and for fuck’s sake, BE NICE. That is the way we TRANSFORM the world. One crusty Muggle conversion at a time.