Can We Do Better at Being Our Brother's Keeper?

I just got the news last night that my friend, Parth Gandhi, killed his son and then himself a few days ago. I haven’t spoken to Parth in a good 8 months or so, but he was a friend. Such devastating news—I’m in shock. I knew he had struggled with depression in the past and had his shadows like the rest of us. But to kill your own son—what kind of emotional state must you be in? From what i could see, Parth appeared to be a really great dad that’s had full custody of his kids for well over a decade. Parth was a brilliant man and a neuropsychologist. Nothing typical about this incident. Not homeless, not unsuccessful, just a normal guy that seemed to always be seeking community. 

How did we fail him? How are we failing countless others? What can we do for the multitudes struggling in our midst? How can we be better stewards of our tribe and loved ones? How can we be a better friend to those in our circle? 

These are the questions I ask myself when confronted with this devastating news. Where can we best be a contribution to humanity? What gift(s) do you have that are lying dormant because you feel small, incapable, a nobody, not smart enough, not good enough? 

We think it needs to be something grandiose, but I don’t believe that. I think it’s much more simple— like inviting someone to coffee, not because you’re lonely, but because you sense that another could use a listening ear. It could be encouraging someone with a dream they have…just your words of encouragement that cost you nothing to give. Perhaps you have an extra $100 that you know you’re just going to blow, but you choose to give it to someone that you know it would make a world of difference to receive. 

These are things we ALL can do. We never know when our small gesture may just be the gesture needed to save a life, to give someone hope for the future, to restore their faith in humanity. 

CHOOSE to be a force for good. CHOOSE to pay attention to the people around you—your family, your children, your co-workers, members of your church…CHOOSE to notice if someone feels a little down or “off” and at the risk of embarrassment or putting yourself out, ask if you can take them to lunch, or make them dinner, or offer to babysit their kids. There is no end to the things that will cost us nothing to do, that might just be the thing that saves a soul, that soothes a broken heart, that restores their faith for one more day—that people really do care, that they matter, that they are worthwhile. 

We are entering (and have been going through) perilous times. We’ve been isolated with lockdowns and inconveniences, that have made it easier now without such restrictions, to stay comfortable in our homes, to remain in isolation, to hide away. Mental illness and loneliness are at all-time highs. 

I challenge you (and me) to get uncomfortable, to put yourself out there, to share your gifts and strengths, to put more effort into the uplifting of your tribes, families, and neighborhoods. I challenge you to create unity with people that don’t think like you, that have different political views than you, and that come from different cultures and traditions than you. I challenge you to see the world and its inhabitants (including animals, trees, plants, bodies of water, elements, etc) as one family. As one nation. As part of a united whole.

It is the ONLY thing that will save us in the days ahead. It’s time to restore community, to restore tribe, to unite in compassion and love. 

It’s also time to unite and stand up to tyrannical governments before it’s too late. That will come much more naturally when we feel united as neighbors, and countrymen/women. 

Our first step is to reach out in our small circles and broaden those circles—to be more inclusive, more tolerant, and more compassionate. To be more aware, more conscious, and more dialed into our intuition. This will require something of you—doing your own inner work, addressing your own triggers and upsets, making peace with your past and present, becoming still inside through meditation, contemplation, being in nature, and immersion in silence. Fortify yourself now so that you can give to others and be a force for good. 

My heart goes out to Parth’s daughters that lost their father and brother, to Om's mother who lost her dear son, to his son, Om,  whose life was cut short, and to Parth who clearly felt this was his only option. 

If you are struggling emotionally, I encourage you to reach out. There are always options, you just might not see them in the moment. You are seen, you are known, you are loved by the unseen. You matter. All lives matter. All lives count. Let’s be good stewards of ourselves and each other. 

Blessings Beautiful Humans. May you see the Light that is always surrounding you in each moment. May you feel the love that is present in every rainbow, tree, songbird, and bubbling brook. May you feel the presence of Spirit in grief, sadness, and heartache. May you be well, may you be safe, and may you find joy. 

Sincerely and with sooo much love. ~lf