Wednesday, August 8, 2012
You Are Not Special
You are not Special.
Most of us have this disease we'll call 'specialness'. We all want to be special...we want to be the favorite child or grandchild. We want to be the best friend, the favorite girlfriend or boyfriend, the head of the class, the president of the group, the one people like the most.
All my life I tried to prove my specialness to a mother who clearly didn't want me...no amount of student body president, cheerleading captain, Miss Maine or anorexia was going to make it so...and that’s just the short list.
Trust me, I know this disease well.
This desire to be special, to stand out from the crowd, often comes from our beliefs that we are not enough, that we may be inadequate or lacking in some way. So we attempt to remedy the situation with heroic acts, selflessness, service, having a fancy house, expensive car, great body, special partner, etc
But the truth of the matter is—We are not our possessions, positions or relationships...we are not even our bodies, thoughts or doing-ness.
We are just us... Plain Jane and simple.
We are not special. Strip it all away and we are the same...we shall all leave this place the same, just as we came into it.
And truly, that is a beautiful place to be. In that sameness we are able to feel the truth of Onenes. In our sameness, we are always enough. In our sameness there is no judgement. In our sameness only love and acceptance exist. In our sameness, we are not alone—we are one.
In your specialness you will never be enough. In your specialness you will fear someone taking your place and being more special than you. In your specialness you can be an elitist snob. In your specialness you are better than everybody else. In your specialness nobody can relate. In your specialness you are alone.
It turns out that ‘special’ is a very lonely place. It's as if we are in a sea of isolated, tall pillars- one person atop of each pillar. This place is devoid of connection. You can't reach out to touch someone because you are so high up and far away from the next pillar. The person on the next pillar is too caught up in his own specialness to see the other people on the pillars near by...and even if he could see, he may be threatened that your pillar is a tad higher than his.
And don’t forget, the people below. They are the ones who really know they could never be special, so they gather round the pillars of their favorite ‘special one’ to admire and worship...and you special ones are too high up to reach down. Once again, creating a lack of connection. Can you see how ugly it can be to be ‘special’
I’m not saying to stop shining your magnificent Light. I’m saying don’t worry about how anyone else perceives you. I’m saying be your brightest Self just for you, because that’s who you are...not because you are trying to impress. Attempting to be something you are not, always comes from fear and insecurity. Just be you. Like Buddha said, ‘Be a light unto yourself.’ When you are in that space, feeling lit from within, being inspired by the truth of you, loving who you are...that is special.
From that ‘special’ space, you will begin connecting effortlessly with others who are in that ‘same’ space.
For me, I’d like to trade in ‘special’ for simply being present. When I am present, everyone in my space feels special.