HOME!!!

So as many of you know, I moved to Detroit the end of August.  I moved because I felt it was the right thing for me. In fact, I had no doubt about it. I left a life that was really great. I left my home, the Enchanted Cottage, that always felt like a soulmate. I was in love with the views of the mountains, all the trees, deer, birds and other critters that I fed religiously. I had the best friends here that most people would envy. Not just acquaintances, though I had many of those, but true, deep, tribe/family kind of friends. I also left several teaching/training positions and clients that i absolutely adored as well. I left it all without regret, with total gratitude for everything that I had here. I left with no back door—nobody sub-leasing my place, no stuff stored to come back to in case things didn’t work out. I gave everything away and left willingly and joyfully to embrace the next step on my journey. 

On September 21st I moved back. Yup. I’ve had some people ask me if I were embarrassed or did I feel like I came back with my ‘tail between my legs’, like “wow, I sure mis-judged this one”. The fact of the matter is, no. Not for a minute do I feel bad or regret my choice.  I listened to my heart and I followed. I had no doubt  about what i was doing and I went willingly. I am proud of mySelf for having the courage to make such a bold move. I am proud of mySelf for being willing to leave and let go of everything I held/hold dear. I am happy with myself for how I behaved, how willing I was to merge my life with another, and though most would say, “oh, it didn’t work out,” I say that it worked out perfectly. I don’t feel like I could have done anything differently or better. I feel like I gave it my total attention, made adjustments without compromising or complaint and remained true to myself. 

Even though I lived at the zoo, the one room I claimed and spent most of my time in, over looked the freeway, and I would occasionally see a turkey vulture fly overhead. I didn’t have the same kind of views and there was very little space for me and the few things I didn’t give away, which consisted of my books and a portion of my clothes. I did put out one of my Buddha statues and the other 25 sat on top of a single shelf in the one room I called my own. I was ok with that because that’s not why I went there. I went to experience partnership. I did my best to immersed myself in that. I told myself, it is the person that I am with that is most important, not the space or the location. While there is truth to that, I’m quite clear that for myself, my personal physical space inside and what I see out my windows are really important to my highest happiness. I got even more clear about some of my preferences when I moved. 

Although I have always made any space I have work for me, to really thrive and be creative, I much prefer to be immersed in nature. Being the homebody that I am, I do much better with trees and wildlife out of every window. While I’m doing life, writing, cooking, cleaning, showering, meeting with clients, etc I want to be surrounded by nature. I prefer to not be near a lot of traffic or high density population. I prefer to have nature’s beauty within my eye’s reach. You all know I’m that person that says, “Squirrell!!!” only every time I see one :)  

As nice as it is to have a partner, I kinda prefer to be the boss of me. I prefer working (which is my passion and dharma) to staying home cooking and playing house. I prefer having a few good friends around. I prefer living close to my kids. No matter what anyone else says, I actually like/love my free-spirited, strong-willed, free-thinking, non-conservative, smart, savvy, sometimes messy Self just the way I am :)) Thank-you very much. 

I’m grateful for my experience, I’m grateful for what I learned about me. I would do it all over again for all that I have gained because of it. I will continue to follow my heart, even when it doesn’t look very wise to others. I will continue to open my heart to whatever life brings next. I learned that I’m ok with whatever happens in my life. I’ve learned that I can let everything and anything go in my life and still be ok. I am not defined by my things, or my stuff.  I’ve learned on a deeper level how brave, courageous, and accepting of ‘all that is’ that I am. I trust mySelf on a whole new level. And though I may not be every body’s ‘cup of tea’, I’m quite happy with who I am and who I’ve become in this incarnation thus far. I feel like my life is just getting started…funny… it’s how I always feel. There is always a new beginning in any given now moment. Perfect timing to come back on the Fall Equinox, with Navaratri beginning last night and Rosh Hashanah at sundown tonight!! Very auspicious if you ask me. 

On Turning Fifty, Staying Young & Laurie 5.0

In a couple of days, I will have arrived at the door of my fiftieth birthday. I completely embrace it, the way I would an exciting, new love. I have ALWAYS approached each passing decade with the same passion and enthusiasm. Another decade, another lifetime of experience, growth and wisdom. 

People are often shocked by my age and ask what I do to look/feel at least a decade younger (I FEEL 25 btw, not 40)!!  Let me answer that first by sharing what I feel makes one look and feel OLD. 

What makes you old? Having no purpose in life, holding a grudge, being stuck in a religion or marriage that you don't love—that you aren't completely devoted to or excited about, wishing you were somewhere else (with somebody else), not exercising your body and giving it the movement and flexibility it needs, and eating processed, unhealthy food, to name a few of the obvious. Lacking compassion, being mean, needing a controlled (or any) chemical substance to get you through the day i.e. addiction, denying yourself the things that you love, negative thinking and self-talk, limiting false beliefs, endless drama, toxic relationships, expectations, needing to be right, carrying heavy emotions of shame, guilt, fear, apathy, anger etc. make you age.

Being a whiny victim and blaming everyone else including the government, your ex, society, religion, for why your life is the way it is, and not taking accountability for yourself and your actions, makes you old and makes you feel powerless. Not to mention the fact that nobody wants to be around you—which has you feeling lonely, which translates into depression and aging. Stop it already. These things are all so heavy.  Feeling heavy and over-burdened not only has you feeling old, but also has you lacking energy, vitality, health and well-being. It also creates a lack of enthusiasm, irritability, emotional reactivity and cynicism. Are you feeling it? What if you could let go of all that?!? Would you feel young again? Exactly!!  

What keeps me young?

Loving what I do, feeding the birds and the wildlife in my yard, not taking everything personally, letting go of anger and grudges quickly, being with people that I love and adore, getting out side and appreciating nature, being grateful for everything that I have, being grateful and learning from all of my challenges, eating wholesome, healthy food that I love, enjoying a guilty pleasure on occasion, doing exercise that is fun for me, yoga, meditation, meditation, meditation, drinking lots and lots of good clean water every single day, using natural, organic products on my skin, climbing trees, swinging on swings, communing with trees and animals, talking to the sun, moon and stars (and hearing them speak back), believing I have a Divine Team made up of deities, angels, archangels, ascended masters and ancestors that are all rooting for me and assisting me in my highest good, believing the world is a friendly place and that I am always safe and never alone, being in a state of awe, wonder and gratitude more often than not, allowing mySelf to feel my feelings, seeing and creating a magical quality to my life, decorating my home with sacred objects form around the world, creating spaces that are inviting and peaceful, yummy kisses from that special someone, honoring the change of seasons, celebrating holy-days, sharing wisdom, having an amazing circle of friends and acquaintances. This is a short list of the things I love and the things that keep me young.  

What occurs to me writing this, is that allowing mySelf to fill my life with things that I love on a daily and momentary basis, decade after decade, has kept me youthful and happy to be alive. Having and knowing my life’s purpose, being able to earn a living doing it, having it be so varied and interesting, feeling like I am making a difference in the lives of many every day, bursting with new ideas and projects, has me want to live, at the very least another 50 years, if not 100!! 

What can you do to start feeling younger?  You can start by loving your self, making nourishing choices for yourself, creating an environment of friendliness within yourself to yourself, allowing yourself to love what you love, allowing your self to be happy, allowing yourself to do something nice for you, knowing yourself, what you need and what works for you, taking care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  

What's awesome, when you get to be my age ladies (and gents), if you have done a lot of letting go, un-learning, and personal transformation, you feel beautiful on the inside.  When you have used your life to create a masterpiece (whatever that looks like for you), and are simply happy with you, if your looks or youth start to dissipate, it seems negligible, because you feel so beautiful from within, you really couldn't care less about a new wrinkle or a few gray hairs. You will laugh in the face of aging and pity the 20 and 30-somethings that are already injecting their young selves with botox to preserve (with un-natural preservatives/poison) to remedy their lack of self-worth. No amount of outer cosmetic change, will compensate for a poor inner self-image. (And before I get a bunch of flack for this, I realize this isn’t the case for everyone, and I’m not completely opposed. Someday I may choose something…but it won’t be from a space of lack or not-enoughness, or because anyone else thinks I ‘need’ some kind of enhancement.)

So what can you look forward to turning 50? Turning the big 5-0 is when most people are thinking their lives are all downhill now, when most people believe it’s time to get fat and bald, lose your eyesight, hearing and start wearing granny pants, when most people are ready to retire and park themselves in front of their tv’s— I’m calling it Laurie 5.0. The latest and greatest iteration of mySelf. 

The highest version of mySelf has been unfolding. Over the past year, I have just felt so much more grounded and settled in, in such a deep and profound way. 

Settled into making peace with my body, settled into feeling my emotions and not fearing them, settled into a deep knowing of who I am. knowing what's important to me, what nourishes me and feeds my Soul, and frankly what JusT doesn't. 

I have become more patient, tolerant and accepting. I’m less attached to my beliefs, being right or even needing to be understood. I’m choosing peace over drama, love over attachment, letting go over holding-on, and addressing issues rather than sweeping them under the rug. I speak my truth, honor my preferences, and say no when I feel like it, with no excuses or explanation. The people in my life are here because I want them to be, not because I need them to be. Life is good…even when it isn’t.  Hello Fifty…I welcome you with open arms and an open heart. It feels like my life is just beginning. Magic awaits and excitement is underfoot. 

New Beginnings & the Winter Solstice

New beginnings arise when the old is finished. Even though the Winter Solstice is the darkest point of the whole year, it is the birth of the Light that we celebrate. Take courage that when you are at your darkest hour, the Light is not far behind. Know that when you clear out the old— ineffective, worn-out, (ego-based) ways of being and behavior, relationships that are not feeding your soul, jobs that are not in alignment with your higher purpose, harmful addictions, etc (none of which are easy, and all of which may be concurrently terrifying), you are saying YES to you, and therefore yes to the Universe, and therefore yes to the Light to come. You are clearing sacred space on your sacred path, for a new road to arise. It is always the road less traveled by you. It is always unknown. Only brave souls dare tread in foreign lands as this. 

There are some pre-requisites to this undertaking. Clarity of heart, courage to trust, and a love of Self so big that nothing can shake. Blessings on your journey fellow travelers. May the Light we encounter be so bright, the likes of which we have never known. Arriving one step closer to the truth of us, standing a lil taller for giving ourSelves an extra vote, stronger in conviction and more deeply in love with ourSelves. Shine on. Shine on, beautiful warriors. It is your deep Light and fire within you that illuminates your path.

Winter Solstice Musings....

Good Morning, Winter and your beautiful snowy accompanist.  I want to apologize and request your forgiveness for being such a hater in my youth.  I grew up in Maine, and it was extra cold there.  I had to walk to school often before my hair was dried, and by the time I got to school, my wet hair would be frozen. It would start getting dark soon after I got home.  I could see my breath in my room growing up.  I hated you sooo much.  I really didn’t think there was anything to like about you, except for an occasional snow-day off from school.  I was never big on winter sports or activities because my cold-Vata-self just couldn’t take it.  You chilled me to the bone, and I could not wait for you to depart so my beautiful Sunny could show up as your replacement.  

I have learned to love you, your chill and your darkness as I have learned to love my own.  I see you now.  I see your beauty. I see your magic.  I see you twinkle.  

I used to hate my own darkness too, so how could I possibly love yours.  I projected my Ice Queen self onto you.  You were the one that was cold and frigid.  You were the one that got dark and distant. 

As I learned to embrace those cold and dark places within myself and began to see that they too, had beauty, I became more loving— not only to myself but of others and their shadowy-Selves.  

If we can only love the Light and the shine-y parts of ourselves, we will only allow the shine-y in others.  We will reject the cold, dark places in others, as we have ourselves.  We will cut off friendships, romantic partnerships, and business opportunities at the first sign of any chill and miss out on true intimacy, depth, and growth.  Authenticity only exists in both.  To truly love ourSelves and then others, we must embrace ourSelves in our totality, Light and Dark, Cold and Warm.  Real relationships and real people have range.  We are neither all Shine-y, nor all Darkness.  

Let us remember this, at this the longest night and shortest day of the year.  As we celebrate the return of the Light, let us allow that Light to warm some of our own dark places of unkindness, smallness, bitterness, hostility, insecurities, etc.  Let us remember that we are all just walking each other home.  May we have space in our imperfections, for others in theirs.  May we drop the masks of perfection and embrace authenticity.  May we afford the compassion and acceptance to others as we would wish upon ourSelves.  

May we truly see with new eyes, the beauty, and the magic, not only in the blustery season called winter but in the cold and dark places within ourselves and fellow travelers. May we shine our Light for those in the shadows, that they may find their way a little easier and be grateful for those who have done so for us. We are One.  We are duality.  We are Light and we are Dark.  We are all just lil humans awakening to our own Truth. Om Shanti. 

Everything I Need to Know About How to BE, I Learned in The Redwood Forest

I was unexpectedly blessed with a trip to the magnificent Redwood Forest last weekend.  OMG. I am going to attempt to recreate and share with you my experience.  If it resonates, may you be blessed to get your Self there for your own experience.  

I don’t know about you, but Im a tree-lover, climber, hugger…have been my entire life.  I am also a lover of nature and beauty.  I see things, I can’t even help it, nor do I want to.  I’m that person that interrupts with, “Squirrel”, “Beautiful sunset!!”, “Deer!!” I have been fortunate to travel around the world and experience some of the most beautiful places on spaceship Earth.  The Redwoods are now at the top of my list.  For me, if Heaven had a vibe, it would be The Avenue of the Giants. If you are familiar with David Hawkins, Power vs. Force, you may know something about calibration (a number assigned to the energy/emotion of a particular person, event, book, etc.)  For example, shame resonates the lowest, coming in at a 20 and enlightenment at 1000, with love at 500 and peace at 700, suffice it to say, I have no doubt, this spot resonates well around 700+.  It literally feels like my conception of whatever Heaven would feel like.  

Interestingly enough, the day and evening prior, were spent in the contrast of downtown San Fransisco where we were surrounded by homeless, mental illness, great wealth, extreme poverty, crime and the smell of urine in the air.  The vibe of ‘survival of the fittest’, desperation, desire, scarcity, inauthenticity, and fear were palpable.  In fact, it was so over-whelming for our sensitive Souls, that we retired early to get an early morning jump start on our 5 hour drive to commune with the trees.  

Upon our entrance to the area, we were struck with the enormity of the trees and beauty of our simple drive.  As we pulled over and entered what was the most sacred grove of trees I’d ever been in, I literally dropped to my knees.  I was overcome with their tremendous presence.  I’m sure no less overcome than I would have been had I seen a host of heavenly angels lurking within—seriously.  The energy was so completely pure, so contrasting to the experience we’d had the prior evening in the city.  It was all-consuming, you could not walk in and come out unaffected.  

As is normal of my 5 year old inner-Self, when confronted with such a delightful sight, I get giddy, I cant stop oohing and ahhing.  My phone is in instant camera mode and I am taking pictures and snap-chatting to all of my friends, clients and loved ones, picture after picture of every tall tree, fallen tree, sunlight peeking through branches, ground-cover and moss.  I’m doing yoga on the stumps, looking for fairies, peeing in the woods, jumping off of huge logs, pulling off pieces of tree to smell, putting ferns, clover and pieces of dead wood in my pockets to carry home with me and share :)

It truly is the desire of my lil girl heart, to share the beauty of the world that I see with everyone.  A favorite saying of mine is, “Don’t miss the show!!”  What I mean by that is, EVERYTHING is a show!!  EVERYTHING wants to be seen, heard, felt and experienced;  to be known.  I believe it is the deepest desire of ourSelves, to be known by ourSelves!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!? What beauty lies within your magnificent Soul? 

We also want to be seen by the other—to be acknowledged by another human, animal, tree or entity,  that they see the Divinity within us, that the lies and programming of our not being enough are an illusion, that we are not our past, we are not what happened to us, we are not the shitty things we may have done, we are not our addictions, short-comings, perceived failures, bad behaviors or personal appearance.  Under all of that, is the Truth of you.  You are a Divine Being of Light.  You are peace.  You are joy.  You are whole.  DON’T MISS THE SHOW!!   Its all around you…in every leave, critter, sunset, moon-rise, and in every challenge, loss, and heart-break.  There is a SHOW of beauty, of grace, and of the indomitable Spirit in every moment.

Back to the Redwoods.  After my great ‘show’ of exuberance, I finally take a deep breath.  I allow the energy to permeate my Be-ing.  I wander off by mySelf.  I walk for a while, respecting the deep quiet of this sacred space. I inhale my most favorite scent, that of the woods and pine trees.  I grew up in Maine, the Pine Tree State.  There was a row of giant pines that separated my grandparents home, from my cousins, next door.  I spent the majority of my days playing in the woods and climbing trees, not far from our back yard.  I have always felt at home in the woods; trees are my friends.  I had favorites, like I do people.  In this sacred grove, I am over come with gratitude to be experiencing this holy place, to be out of the hustle and bustle of the city, to be away from some of the personal drama in my own life and to be rejuvenating my own Soul in this majestic place.  

As I meander these adorable little paths, I find a tree that looks inviting to sit on.  My exuberance has shifted to that deep stillness, reverence and awe one would feel upon encountering Christ or arriving at some great mecca. I assure you, I would feel no different in the presence of Angels.  Trees are known as ‘the great wisdom keepers’ of our planet.  These tress are thousands of years old.  ”The wisdom they must contain is immense, vast, incomprehensible”, I think to mySelf.  I no sooner have that thought, than a more true thought is inserted into my mind, “You are the same, Miss.  You too, contain the wisdom of the ages. Through all your lifetimes of study and experience, you too are everything you see and feel here. You are just like these majestic trees.”

With even more reverence, I assume my usual meditation position of half lotus and hands up to receive.  I get the memo to turn my hands over and place them below me to the tree upon which I sit.  Immediately an energy courses through my veins, and again I am overwhelmed and take a breath into, and adjust to this new frequency.  I have the thought that everything I need to know about how to BE, I can learn right here in this place. I want to absorb and embody everything I am feeling here on a cellular level such that I may recall it, presence it, be it and share it. 

Then I have the thought to do a chakra meditation and blessing of sorts to anchor in this energy in every way.  Let me say something here, I believe anyone with good intentions can bestow a blessing upon us and that we can intend a blessing for ourSelves.  I don’t believe that you have to have some ordained priest or minister lay their hands on your head, travel to India, or that you have to be a man to do so—how ludicrous. So, I begin my meditation and it goes something like this:

Beginning with my first chakra, my root, Mulhadara in Sanskrit, I presence the end of my tailbone area.  I connect with the grounding  energy of the earth beneath me and the tree on which i sit.  I feel the safety of being in the womb. I feel the protection of the enormous Redwoods.  I smell the scent of pine and earth. I say/bless, “May I be strong, stable and grounded like the roots of these trees.  May I feel the beautiful grounding connection with Mother Earth that is always present.  May I always feel the safety, protection and nurturing of this sacred grove."  (These words in parenthesis to follow, are ancient chants/mantras associated with each chakra I describe prior. Simply chanting them brings those particular chakras into alignment and resonance.) ((( LAM ))) 

Moving up to my second chakra, my sacral area, Swadishtana in Sanskrit.  I think about the feeling of this place.  I feel alive.  Every sense is heightened. I feel an energetic vibrancy rich with possibility. I can almost taste the air it is so rich with oxygen and nutrients.   I bless, “May I always treat my sexuality as sacred as this sacred grove.  If the experience is not rooted in the sacred, may I choose out.  May I honor my feelings and remember the energy of this place to transform any negativity to that of neutrality or love. May I be blessed with and open to the stream of creativity that is always flowing.  May I give birth to my most noble projects with effortless ease."  ((( VAM )))

Moving up to my third chakra, my seat of power, Manipura in Sanskrit. I connect to the tremendous strength of these sentinels that have stood for thousands of years. I sense what fortitude it would take to stick around that long. The clarity of knowing who they are and the nobility and grace that exudes. I see their beauty and authenticity.  I bless,  “May I align myself with the power and strength of these enormous trees.  May I embody the majesty and nobility exuded here, that I may lead with grace, humility and surety.  May I stand firm in my convictions, with confidence and uprightness.”   ((( RAM )))

Moving up to my fourth chakra, heart chakra, Anahata, in Sanskrit.  I think about how judgmental I can be. I notice how much my Being has revered these trees from the moment I laid eyes on them.  I think of my great exuberance and joy to be in their presence.  I am touched by the generosity of their giving; the overwhelming love and acceptance I feel. I say, “May I greet all sentient beings with the same awe, wonder and reverence that I have paid these trees.  May I see only Divinity in all beings.  May my heart be open to love and accepting of all that is.”  ((( YUM )))

On to my fifth chakra, my throat chakra, Vishuda in Sanskrit. I notice the abundance all around me.  There is no scarcity of trees, leaves, ground cover or fresh air.  The purity and authenticity of nature is breath-taking. There is no artifice here. I can hear the immense quiet.  I imagine, bringing any question or challenge to this space and the answer is instant. Anything that is not true and real, would fall away.  Negativity could not exist in this energy. I say/bless:  “May I stand tall like these trees and  speak my truth with conviction, grace and humility.  May I be blessed with abundance and affluence in all my creative endeavors.  May I be blessed with the gift of discernment for my greatest good and that of others. May the words from my mouth, edify and uplift all those in my presence.”  ((( HUM)))

Moving on to the sixth chakra, my sixth sense, third eye, Ajna in Sanskrit.  I notice that my intuition feels great clarity here, there is no noise to distract.  Inner-knowing is effortless and comes naturally.  My purpose is given wings to fly through vitalized vision. I bless, “May my third eye be touched by these wisdom keepers, that I may know wisdom.  May I be blessed with intuition for mySelf and those I guide.  May I be a clear channel to receive the Light that I may share it with others.  May my dreams and visions be brought from the unmanifest into material form. May I tap into the wisdom of the ages through accessing that still place within mySelf.”  ((( SHUM )))

And finally ending with the seventh chakra, crown chakra, the thousand petaled lotus, Sahaswara in Sanskrit.  I notice the stillness and consciousness present is palpable.  I feel like I am swimming in a sea of pure-potentiality, pure awareness, pure divinity.  All is possible in this place.  I notice how straight and tall these Redwoods stand and how they are always looking up and seeking the Light.  I feel their majesty and great nobility as if they are Ascended Masters incarnate. I bless, “May I remain open to the Divine and my higher-Self.  May I effortlessly access that place that is within each one of us, where we are all one and separation is but an illusion.  May my Soul be fed and nourished by the infinite cosmos. May I live in a state of grace and enlightenment.”  ((( OM )))

The Universe is always talking to us…are you listening? Everything is a show? Are you seeing? We all are beautiful, majestic, noble beings just like these angelic Redwoods.  Do you feel it? Do you know that the truth of you is beauty?  That the truth of you is peace? That the truth of you is Divine? We too, grow forever.  Our souls are ever-evolving.  Within us lies the wisdom of the ages.  All you need to do is be still, like the forest.  Go within.  Tune in.  Just be.  Listen. Be open.  Share.  And Shine-on, Shine-on, beautiful, majestic peeps!!  Tree-Huggers unite!!

~Laurie Frazier

Maven of Moksha

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”

― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

Navaratri, Celebrating the Goddess

October 13th-22nd marks yet another of my favorite ‘holy’ days.  This particular one is from India & Nepal.  It is called Navratri also known as Navarartri.  It is celebrated 4 times a year, more traditionally, two. Once in the spring and the most significant one, is in the fall, and is simply called Maha Navaratri, meaning the Great Navaratri.  It coincides with the lunar calendar, so it falls on different days each year. 

The word Navaratri means 'nine nights' in Sanskrit, nava meaning nine and ratri meaning nights. It is the celebration of the goddess in all of her forms.  During these nine nights, it is believed that the Divine Feminine, descends to the Earth plane and the Mother Goddess manifests herself in warrior form to destroy the dark forces that harm humans and threaten the existence of goodness and righteousness on this planet. 

In many traditions, she is not simply a vibration or frequency. She is a mega-divine female, the Mother Divine. The counterpart of God the Father, creatress of the phenomenal world. In order to access her you must remain alert, tune in, be aware. 

The ancient seers/rishis of India identified Navratri as the time for the destruction of evil forces. Each year during Navratri, the Goddess descends to awaken the Earth from a deep slumber and to destroy all types of evil. These ‘evil forces’ are known as: sickness, negativity, laziness, poverty and ignorance.  This could all sound like some cute mythological Hindu fairy-tale to us simple Westerners. Or—

What if it were a time, to be conscious and awaken yourself to your own negativity, self-sabotage, and small playing ways?  What if you could use the love and compassion of the Divine Feminine aspect to shine the Light on all of your dark places and activate the Warrior Goddess, Kali, to wield her sword of truth, to show you that which is toxic in your life? To flesh out that which is no longer serving you and simply let go of some of your own darkness?

It appears that the goddess has long been forgotten in our modern, industrial, patriarchal society and is no longer a living presence for people as it once was in ancient cultures.  The Goddess is the invisible Divine power and energy that sustains life and exists in both men and women of receptivity, nurturing, vulnerability, beauty, fertility, prosperity, joy, intuition, community. The Goddess Archetypes bring everything that is enjoyable into this world. Hindu’s believe, and I concur, that when our connection to Her is weak, we suffer financially, physically, mentally and emotionally. Makes sense to me.  When we are lacking that Feminine aspect of ourSelves, life becomes all work and doing and no play. It is harsh, opposed to the softness, made available by the feminine.  We definitely ‘suffer’ and our lives are lacking depth without it. 

I share to simply bring awareness.  To create a discussion.  To cause you to question, where have you abandoned the goddess in your life? And where have you or would you, like to embrace the goddess more?  How could embracing more of the feminine aspect in your life, wether you are male or female, benefit you and make your life richer? 

There are three primordial forms of the goddess that are embraced and embodied during Navaratri.  They are each celebrated for three nights of the nine, beginning with: 

Durga/Kali (Goddess of Protection & Strength) protection from enemies and dark forces; warrior goddess extraordinaire, complete with belt of dismembered heads. 

Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth), giver of spiritual and material wealth, as well as good fortune, beauty and health. 

Saraswati (Goddess of Intelligence & Learning) for wisdom and right knowledge. She is the goddess of the arts, intelligence, education, music and memory. 

In order to have all-round success in life, believers seek the blessings of all three aspects of the divine feminine, hence the nine nights of worship.

I like to think about what it looks like, in our modern world to embrace each of those aspects.

I’ve written a blog on the warrior goddess.  That’s an aspect I am probably all too familiar with, and that I also wouldn’t trade for anything.  As a woman, to be able to stand up for mySelf, my loved ones and those I work with, that may not be able to do so for themselves, is an invaluable trait.  It shows up in fierce loyalty to those I love, not allowing myself to be walked on, taking charge of and accountability for my life, confidence to meet whatever life brings me and competence to manage it all.

  

Saraswati is another favorite.  In my life-long pursuit of wisdom, learning, and education, I have often called upon her to quickly learn and retain all that I study. Along with countless chantings of the Gayatri Mantra.  Being a great appreciator of art and music, and being a writer myself, (which I consider to fall under ‘the arts’) is also embodying Saraswati. 

Lakshmi, I’ve called her my home-girl for years.  I once had an experience while meditating of her coming to me.  Another time, while in San Diego, a woman of a friend I was staying with, just randomly shared that Lakshmi was one of my ‘guides’.  Anyway, I’ve always felt a particular affinity to this goddess.  Still searching for the perfect statue of her.  She is the bestower of fortune and wealth. Not just material wealth, but spiritual wealth, which is something I have always valued.  She is often attributed as the goddess of health and beauty, as well.  I’ve been blessed with amazing health and well, as far as the beauty part, I do my best to be that inside and out. 

I believe true beauty is a result of who you are ‘being” and radiates out from within.  Outer beauty does not necessarily relate to inner beauty, however, inner beauty always finds its way out. 

I think it’s great to study whatever goddesses appeal to you.  What are their different aspects and characteristics that you most identify with and which qualities could you use more of in your life? 

Use this time of Navaratri to do your own research on any goddesses that appeal to you or take at look at some of your Divine feminine qualities and see where you could improve, where you are doing well, and what do you want to embody moving forward.  

Here is a list, my friend Merrill Chandler, came up with for high-vibration feminine traits to get you thinking: Vulnerable, Intuitive, Creative, Inspiring, Receptive, Nurturing, Interdependent, Trusting, Collaborative, Accountable.  

Some of the low-vibe feminine traits would be: Wishy-Washy, Weak, Pushover, Dreamer, Smothering, Follower, Gullible, Compromising, Victim.   

So go get your Goddess on!!  Now is the time!! Feel free to share some of your favorite goddesses, and their traits that speak to you. Post some pics of your fave goddess or better yet, as yourSelf embodying something that speaks to you.  

Shine on, shine on, beautiful peeps!!

When I Am Among the Trees

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees, 

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

   but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, "Stay awhile."

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,

"and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine. ~Mary Oliver

Certain poetry speaks to my Soul…this one did.  “I would say that they (the trees) save me, and daily.”  How that line speaks to me. When I read it first, in a bookstore yesterday, it brought tears to my eyes.  I think all my life, trees, bodies of water and sunshine have ‘saved me’…have been manna to me in my most challenging and heart-breaking moments.  They do give off  ‘hints of gladness’  no matter what dire situation I find myself—the mere sight of them brings comfort to my weary heart.  A feeling of gratitude rushes over me, for the beauty that I am always surrounded by.  

There is no need to ‘phone a friend’ …trees are my friends.  Sunshine is my salvation.  I am enveloped by grace. Held in the hands of a loving Universe.  

I may not always ‘walk slowly’ but I do ‘bow often’.  Each morning I am caught off guard by the beauty I get to open my eyes to. Lately, it’s the buzzing of the hummingbirds outside my window that act as my alarm.  Sometimes it’s the mama doe and her two lil cuties.  

It’s an interesting dichotomy to feel your heart-break open from sadness and beauty, almost in the same moment.  Lately, the two are becoming indistinguishable to me.  I am often so awestruck by a view in a moment, that my 5-year-old heart almost bursts and the tears stream down my tender cheeks.   Tears of gratitude that I get to be a witness of such astounding beauty, tears of ‘what if this is my last life on planet Earth’, tears that I have ‘eyes to see’ and not miss it. 

Then there’s the heartbreak, even with the acceptance of what is and what must be, for we all have our own path to walk, my mother’s heart weeps.  Weeps that I should have done something different, weeps for my child’s uncertain future weeps for his aching heart. 

My heart has been heavy and overflowing with gratitude at the same time.  I feel.  I am alive.  I love deeply.  My heart aches. I can’t breathe. I am a warrior.  I am a goddess.  I am a lil human.  I am Divine.  I am all that is.  Aham Brahmasmi. 

“And you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.”  See the light through your pain and your darkness.  Go easy. Allow.  Accept. Be. Breathe.  Love.  Shine.  Through it all.