Breathe Fire? by Laurie Frazier

       One does not become enlightened

 by imagining figures of light, 

but by making the darkness conscious.”

~Carl Jung

Consciousness expands only when we integrate something from the unconscious/shadow. When we are fully aware of and embrace our own darkness within, is when we truly become whole, stop living in fear, and step into our true power.

I’ve had this fridge magnet for years with a picture of a lady in a dress smoking a long cigarette and looking cool af that says, “She had not yet decided whether to use her power for good or evil.’  (Insert mwahahahah)

What that quote has always communicated to me loud and clear is the power of choice. She is just observing. She isn’t reacting to a fucking thing. She is surveying the scene with amusement….watching all the fuckheads, deciding if it’s worth her time to retaliate, and if the entertainment value will be worth it or if she’ll be better served by just turning and walking away. She can choose either. That’s where the power lies. 

If she had not integrated her own monster (see Jordan Peterson), she might be afraid. She may not know what to say or do when somebody fucks with her. She’ll have to talk to her friends about it and see what they think…yawn. 

The thing is if you never fight back, if all you give out is love and light, if you let people walk all over you, and never say a peep, for you to continue with that behavior…. Is that virtuous? No. You lack courage and balls and hide under the guise of virtue signaling. 

“ If you are not capable of cruelty, you are a victim to anyone that is.”

~J. Peterson.

On the other end of this scale are the pathetically evil people. They tend to be reactive, emotional powder kegs, ready to explode with any given trigger. They have no control over their choices. They are not the observer. They are the reactor. They react to their lust and addiction to sex, drugs, and alcohol, they react to their desperate need for validation, and they react when they realize they have no power or control over even themselves. They are powerless to choose from a place of goodness and morality that doesn’t involve manipulation. 

Both are a result of the total denial of their shadow, and the fear of taking a deep, hard look within. It’s easier for all of them to just point their fingers in the direction of those who’ve done them wrong, or to those they themselves have wronged (reverse victim mode). 

The thing about really good people is that they are consciously choosing to be so. They’re not choosing it bc they don’t know how to fight back, they’re not choosing it because they are afraid to do otherwise or are fearful of what others may think of them. They are choosing it because they can. 

Let me speak for mySelf as that’s really all I know….

Because I have real-life experience of standing up for myself over and over, because I’ve verbally bitch-slapped numerous people in the face with no fear, because I have taken from those that have taken from me with no shame, because I have sent evil straight back to the sender with no concern of any repercussions…and I’m not afraid to use my darkness against the forces of evil and feel 100% justified while I'm doing it….that makes me whole—and according to Jordan Peterson, “dangerous.”  

Because of this, when I choose not to return evil with evil, it’s a conscious choice because I’m also not easily triggered. It's very easy for me to walk away. 

Howeverrrr, there may be rare situations when I do choose the dark, and it won’t be unconsciously or because I’m being reactive to another’s injustice. Rest assured, it will be calculated and exacting for maximum impact and all the forces of Light will be on my side if I choose to do so. My choice to invoke the powers of hell will come from ancient wisdom, the ancestors, and the law of reciprocity—not stupidity and my ego. 

I believe that wherever there is the potential for the greatest good, the opposite must also be true. One must know oneSelf as capable of both— therein lies the virtue. To observe. To respond and not react. To put on your armor or walk the fuck away. These days I just ask myself, which one will be more entertaining? 

What about you? Have you integrated your 'monster'? Do you know what he/she is capable of? It's not an easy task for those (especially women) who have been taught their entire lives to "be nice". It's nothing I've ever aspired to when there are soooo many more interesting things one can be.

I was fortunate to be raised by a looong line of badass women that knew how to speak their truth and had the power to control their own destinies. I passed that on to my daughters, and I hope you'll stop telling yours to "be nice". 

 "As for my girls, I'll raise them to believe they breathe fire."~Jessica Kirkland

A Self-Possesed Woman-How to Be One, Have One and Keep One Around. Listen Up Men.

Any self-possessed woman is going to have spent a good amount of time alone in her life, for that is how she becomes,”self-possessed”. And what exactly does the term, ’Self-possessed (woman)’ mean? It means that she belongs to no man, no religion, no dogma, no geographical location nor a political party. It means that she has spent quality time in her life getting to know and understand herSelf. She knows who she is. She knows who she is because she has lived consciously. At some point, she has recapitulated the times in her life that she may have lived unconsciously, and understands that now, and is unwilling to do so again— at any cost.  She has lived and experienced life in a variety of forms, and she knows what works for her and what doesn’t. She knows where she has compromised and she knows the damage that compromise has had on her very Soul. 

A Self-possessed woman cannot be owned, possessed or treated like an acquisition. She can smell, hear, see and sense that coming from literally miles away. Why? Because she has done that before. She has been bought and sold, compromised her truth and dreams for a younger girls fantasies and fears. Most self-possessed women take several decades to ‘grow’. But once she’s clear, she is a force. She can hold her own. She is S-O-L-I-D. She is solid in her beliefs and she knows what she values. She is no longer enticed with promises or dangling carrots of security, comfort, and luxury. She knows how to make her way in the world and that her freedom is the most coveted thing that she can possess….high above fancy homes and BMW’s.

This woman has unshakable confidence, and because of it, can be quite intimidating and unnerving to most men. It is not the kind of cocky confidence she may have had in her 20’s based on her body, appearance or pedigree. This confidence comes from deep within. It has roots like a tall and beautiful oak tree. It is a self-assuredness that no longer needs to size up the competition or look around and see how she ‘measures up’. She has no concern for such foibles of youth. It matters not to her what other women are doing or how they are living and behaving. She is clear about herSelf, what she values and what her requirements in life are.

In order to have one of these rare women in your midst, you must also be a rare and self-possessed man. Know that this woman does not want to own you, limit your freedom nor does she want to restrict or constrict your life in any way. She does not want to be the ‘boss of you’ that was your mother's role, and/or your ex’s. She desires your unwavering devotion. She doesn’t want to ‘run the show’ or ‘tell you what to do’. She desires a man that respects her intellect, trusts her intuition and seeks her counsel. She does not expect you to follow it blindly, but to weigh her thoughts, ideas, and opinions along with your own and then for you to make wise and authentic choices. If you always do what she says, or change your opinion too easily to match hers, she will not be able to trust or rely on your strength and knowledge. 

If this woman has chosen to be in your space, it’s because she deems you a worthy companion and life partner. An equal. This woman realizes that there will be some areas where you know more than she does, she counts on you for that. She also trusts that when you are in doubt, you will consult her. She doesn’t want (or need) the final say. You will know when it’s right to give it to her, but not from a space of insecurity. 

A self-possessed woman also comes with strength of character. She has probably made choices in the past that she would not make again. These past choices most likely came from a place of fear, lack of power, insecurity, and rebellion. Being self-possessed, she has now acquired these things (confidence, internal power, security) and has no need to make rash or impulsive choices. She weighs the consequences of her actions and as a result is trustworthy. She employs both head and heart when making important decisions and weighs the consequences of her actions on all involved. She does not need to be babysat. She does not need to be told what she should do. If she wants your opinion/advice/counsel she is not above asking you and will not have a problem doing so.

This woman requires freedom and space. She is an autonomous creature. Try to pin her down, define her or your relationship with her too quickly, and she will be on her way out before you do it again. Don’t try to consume her time, plan into a far-distant future or get pouty when she says she needs some alone time. Understand, it’s not about you and it most likely never will be. You own you…and let her own her. She will find you much more attractive that way and may just want to be around you more often—which was your goal in the first place. Tell her you're interested and back the fuck up. 

~just some ramblings from a self-possessed woman on a summer night that wanted to come out into the light now that the coast is clear ;)

The Warrior Goddess

The Warrior Goddess

I just love the concept of Warrior Goddess.  I had to learn that it was more than me being tough like a man in a patriarchal society. It wasn’t me owning a successful construction business, a typically male-dominated field. It wasn’t me sticking both middle fingers up at the end of a relationship, saying with a cold, un-feeling heart, “... don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out—and by the way, don’t trip on the line of suitors waiting outside that door to replace you!” (harsh...I know) It wasn’t me climbing the corporate ladder, competing with men to show how much smarter or better closer/negotiator I was than them.  It wasn’t me displaying great fortitude not crying when my grandfather died.

No...that is not the energy/power of the warrior goddess of which I now know and speak.  Those are the false ways, the artifice, the fraud—the ways that will suck you in to some false pride and beliefs about yourself that are all based on a house of cards.  Lies of your true nature, lies about what is true power, lies about the truth of you.

A warrior goddess in NOT a bitch.  A warrior goddess stands firm in her own power. She does not allow herself to be taken advantage of or allow herself to feel inferior to anyone. Think "momma-bear".  She will protect and stand up for that which she loves and believes in whether it’s friends and children or ideals and beliefs. A warrior goddess knows who she is and stands firm in her convictions.  She is not swayed by the critiques and/or opinions of others. She is capable of defending her beliefs but feels no compulsion to do so.  

The strength and courage of a warrior goddess comes from deep journeys of self-discovery into the dark abyss.  It is in that darkness that she allows her heart to feel deep grief and sadness, to take on her own demons, to be completely accountable for herself and emerge time after time transmuted and transformed by life’s experience. To a warrior goddess, there is no challenge she can not meet, no shadow aspect of herSelf that she can not face, no intimacy she fears broaching.

She has a quiet strength about the way she carries herself.  She feels invincible, yet vulnerable.  Her ability to be vulnerable has come at a price.  That price was the demise of past relationships, that resulted from her fear of intimacy, a fear she felt could ‘protect’ her from potential heartache. The infant goddess grew up and found that her true strength comes from standing in her divine feminine nature of vulnerability with exposed, courageous heart.  Only in that space can one know and feel true love—only in that space of exposure can one be fully known.  And it is only in the “knowing” of another that we can truly love.  The warrior goddess knows herSelf—and in that ‘knowing’ she is able to share herSelf authentically with others. 

The warrior goddess has spent time in meditation and introspection to “Know HerSelf”.  She knows what her dharma is. She does not allow herself to be defined by what she has and owns, the position or status she has achieved in life, or the relationships she surrounds herself with.  She is more than Mrs. X or the VP of Sales with the killer shoes. She is purpose driven and has a sense of inner clarity and conviction that extends way beyond her participation in the PTA. 

Another aspect of the warrior goddess is drive and determination.  It’s having a goal, that is more than a goal—it’s a mission.  Something you feel so compelled to create that you will not rest until it is accomplished.  A life purpose, or dharma, if you will, that only you can fulfill. Something that you are so passionate about, that lights you up, that when you do it you lose all track of time.   That “thing” is what the warrior goddess champions.  She doesn’t allow the cares of the world, nor it’s frivolities and yumminess to come between it’s creation.

The true feminine nature of a warrior goddess is to be a confident, courageous, creative force for good, devoid of submission or feelings of inferiority.

The warrior goddess is a realist with courage, conviction and faith that all good things eventually come to her when she has taken on the only battle that ever really matters—that within the Self and the psyche. The goddess emerges a warrior when she has acknowledged and embraced her own demons, taken them on and either accepted, transmuted or transformed them consciously.The warrior goddess kicks ass—men respect her, women want to be her.

The perfect evidence that you are radiating Warrior Goddess energy is when your friends spontaneously assign you a new, albeit flippant, middle name. In my case it was: Laurie “Fucking” Frazier. In all likelihood it may be the same middle name for you. The addition of "Fucking" to any middle name says to all the world, "I am HERE. I am READY. I got this. Don't mess with me."  I’m just sayin’...

There are a myriad of ways 'Warrior Goddess' shows up...for some it's Momma Bear, for others its being an advocate for women and children...what does it look like for you?

~Resident BadAss Warrior Goddess, at your service ;)

Laurie "Fucking" Frazier

The pic of goddess Durga was done by Sreetama Ray https://plus.google.com/106189287736548108263/posts

***bottom two amazing pics by artist Luis Royo