Breathe Fire? by Laurie Frazier

       One does not become enlightened

 by imagining figures of light, 

but by making the darkness conscious.”

~Carl Jung

Consciousness expands only when we integrate something from the unconscious/shadow. When we are fully aware of and embrace our own darkness within, is when we truly become whole, stop living in fear, and step into our true power.

I’ve had this fridge magnet for years with a picture of a lady in a dress smoking a long cigarette and looking cool af that says, “She had not yet decided whether to use her power for good or evil.’  (Insert mwahahahah)

What that quote has always communicated to me loud and clear is the power of choice. She is just observing. She isn’t reacting to a fucking thing. She is surveying the scene with amusement….watching all the fuckheads, deciding if it’s worth her time to retaliate, and if the entertainment value will be worth it or if she’ll be better served by just turning and walking away. She can choose either. That’s where the power lies. 

If she had not integrated her own monster (see Jordan Peterson), she might be afraid. She may not know what to say or do when somebody fucks with her. She’ll have to talk to her friends about it and see what they think…yawn. 

The thing is if you never fight back, if all you give out is love and light, if you let people walk all over you, and never say a peep, for you to continue with that behavior…. Is that virtuous? No. You lack courage and balls and hide under the guise of virtue signaling. 

“ If you are not capable of cruelty, you are a victim to anyone that is.”

~J. Peterson.

On the other end of this scale are the pathetically evil people. They tend to be reactive, emotional powder kegs, ready to explode with any given trigger. They have no control over their choices. They are not the observer. They are the reactor. They react to their lust and addiction to sex, drugs, and alcohol, they react to their desperate need for validation, and they react when they realize they have no power or control over even themselves. They are powerless to choose from a place of goodness and morality that doesn’t involve manipulation. 

Both are a result of the total denial of their shadow, and the fear of taking a deep, hard look within. It’s easier for all of them to just point their fingers in the direction of those who’ve done them wrong, or to those they themselves have wronged (reverse victim mode). 

The thing about really good people is that they are consciously choosing to be so. They’re not choosing it bc they don’t know how to fight back, they’re not choosing it because they are afraid to do otherwise or are fearful of what others may think of them. They are choosing it because they can. 

Let me speak for mySelf as that’s really all I know….

Because I have real-life experience of standing up for myself over and over, because I’ve verbally bitch-slapped numerous people in the face with no fear, because I have taken from those that have taken from me with no shame, because I have sent evil straight back to the sender with no concern of any repercussions…and I’m not afraid to use my darkness against the forces of evil and feel 100% justified while I'm doing it….that makes me whole—and according to Jordan Peterson, “dangerous.”  

Because of this, when I choose not to return evil with evil, it’s a conscious choice because I’m also not easily triggered. It's very easy for me to walk away. 

Howeverrrr, there may be rare situations when I do choose the dark, and it won’t be unconsciously or because I’m being reactive to another’s injustice. Rest assured, it will be calculated and exacting for maximum impact and all the forces of Light will be on my side if I choose to do so. My choice to invoke the powers of hell will come from ancient wisdom, the ancestors, and the law of reciprocity—not stupidity and my ego. 

I believe that wherever there is the potential for the greatest good, the opposite must also be true. One must know oneSelf as capable of both— therein lies the virtue. To observe. To respond and not react. To put on your armor or walk the fuck away. These days I just ask myself, which one will be more entertaining? 

What about you? Have you integrated your 'monster'? Do you know what he/she is capable of? It's not an easy task for those (especially women) who have been taught their entire lives to "be nice". It's nothing I've ever aspired to when there are soooo many more interesting things one can be.

I was fortunate to be raised by a looong line of badass women that knew how to speak their truth and had the power to control their own destinies. I passed that on to my daughters, and I hope you'll stop telling yours to "be nice". 

 "As for my girls, I'll raise them to believe they breathe fire."~Jessica Kirkland

Winter Solstice Musings....

Good Morning, Winter and your beautiful snowy accompanist.  I want to apologize and request your forgiveness for being such a hater in my youth.  I grew up in Maine, and it was extra cold there.  I had to walk to school often before my hair was dried, and by the time I got to school, my wet hair would be frozen. It would start getting dark soon after I got home.  I could see my breath in my room growing up.  I hated you sooo much.  I really didn’t think there was anything to like about you, except for an occasional snow-day off from school.  I was never big on winter sports or activities because my cold-Vata-self just couldn’t take it.  You chilled me to the bone, and I could not wait for you to depart so my beautiful Sunny could show up as your replacement.  

I have learned to love you, your chill and your darkness as I have learned to love my own.  I see you now.  I see your beauty. I see your magic.  I see you twinkle.  

I used to hate my own darkness too, so how could I possibly love yours.  I projected my Ice Queen self onto you.  You were the one that was cold and frigid.  You were the one that got dark and distant. 

As I learned to embrace those cold and dark places within myself and began to see that they too, had beauty, I became more loving— not only to myself but of others and their shadowy-Selves.  

If we can only love the Light and the shine-y parts of ourselves, we will only allow the shine-y in others.  We will reject the cold, dark places in others, as we have ourselves.  We will cut off friendships, romantic partnerships, and business opportunities at the first sign of any chill and miss out on true intimacy, depth, and growth.  Authenticity only exists in both.  To truly love ourSelves and then others, we must embrace ourSelves in our totality, Light and Dark, Cold and Warm.  Real relationships and real people have range.  We are neither all Shine-y, nor all Darkness.  

Let us remember this, at this the longest night and shortest day of the year.  As we celebrate the return of the Light, let us allow that Light to warm some of our own dark places of unkindness, smallness, bitterness, hostility, insecurities, etc.  Let us remember that we are all just walking each other home.  May we have space in our imperfections, for others in theirs.  May we drop the masks of perfection and embrace authenticity.  May we afford the compassion and acceptance to others as we would wish upon ourSelves.  

May we truly see with new eyes, the beauty, and the magic, not only in the blustery season called winter but in the cold and dark places within ourselves and fellow travelers. May we shine our Light for those in the shadows, that they may find their way a little easier and be grateful for those who have done so for us. We are One.  We are duality.  We are Light and we are Dark.  We are all just lil humans awakening to our own Truth. Om Shanti. 

Navaratri, Celebrating the Goddess

October 13th-22nd marks yet another of my favorite ‘holy’ days.  This particular one is from India & Nepal.  It is called Navratri also known as Navarartri.  It is celebrated 4 times a year, more traditionally, two. Once in the spring and the most significant one, is in the fall, and is simply called Maha Navaratri, meaning the Great Navaratri.  It coincides with the lunar calendar, so it falls on different days each year. 

The word Navaratri means 'nine nights' in Sanskrit, nava meaning nine and ratri meaning nights. It is the celebration of the goddess in all of her forms.  During these nine nights, it is believed that the Divine Feminine, descends to the Earth plane and the Mother Goddess manifests herself in warrior form to destroy the dark forces that harm humans and threaten the existence of goodness and righteousness on this planet. 

In many traditions, she is not simply a vibration or frequency. She is a mega-divine female, the Mother Divine. The counterpart of God the Father, creatress of the phenomenal world. In order to access her you must remain alert, tune in, be aware. 

The ancient seers/rishis of India identified Navratri as the time for the destruction of evil forces. Each year during Navratri, the Goddess descends to awaken the Earth from a deep slumber and to destroy all types of evil. These ‘evil forces’ are known as: sickness, negativity, laziness, poverty and ignorance.  This could all sound like some cute mythological Hindu fairy-tale to us simple Westerners. Or—

What if it were a time, to be conscious and awaken yourself to your own negativity, self-sabotage, and small playing ways?  What if you could use the love and compassion of the Divine Feminine aspect to shine the Light on all of your dark places and activate the Warrior Goddess, Kali, to wield her sword of truth, to show you that which is toxic in your life? To flesh out that which is no longer serving you and simply let go of some of your own darkness?

It appears that the goddess has long been forgotten in our modern, industrial, patriarchal society and is no longer a living presence for people as it once was in ancient cultures.  The Goddess is the invisible Divine power and energy that sustains life and exists in both men and women of receptivity, nurturing, vulnerability, beauty, fertility, prosperity, joy, intuition, community. The Goddess Archetypes bring everything that is enjoyable into this world. Hindu’s believe, and I concur, that when our connection to Her is weak, we suffer financially, physically, mentally and emotionally. Makes sense to me.  When we are lacking that Feminine aspect of ourSelves, life becomes all work and doing and no play. It is harsh, opposed to the softness, made available by the feminine.  We definitely ‘suffer’ and our lives are lacking depth without it. 

I share to simply bring awareness.  To create a discussion.  To cause you to question, where have you abandoned the goddess in your life? And where have you or would you, like to embrace the goddess more?  How could embracing more of the feminine aspect in your life, wether you are male or female, benefit you and make your life richer? 

There are three primordial forms of the goddess that are embraced and embodied during Navaratri.  They are each celebrated for three nights of the nine, beginning with: 

Durga/Kali (Goddess of Protection & Strength) protection from enemies and dark forces; warrior goddess extraordinaire, complete with belt of dismembered heads. 

Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth), giver of spiritual and material wealth, as well as good fortune, beauty and health. 

Saraswati (Goddess of Intelligence & Learning) for wisdom and right knowledge. She is the goddess of the arts, intelligence, education, music and memory. 

In order to have all-round success in life, believers seek the blessings of all three aspects of the divine feminine, hence the nine nights of worship.

I like to think about what it looks like, in our modern world to embrace each of those aspects.

I’ve written a blog on the warrior goddess.  That’s an aspect I am probably all too familiar with, and that I also wouldn’t trade for anything.  As a woman, to be able to stand up for mySelf, my loved ones and those I work with, that may not be able to do so for themselves, is an invaluable trait.  It shows up in fierce loyalty to those I love, not allowing myself to be walked on, taking charge of and accountability for my life, confidence to meet whatever life brings me and competence to manage it all.

  

Saraswati is another favorite.  In my life-long pursuit of wisdom, learning, and education, I have often called upon her to quickly learn and retain all that I study. Along with countless chantings of the Gayatri Mantra.  Being a great appreciator of art and music, and being a writer myself, (which I consider to fall under ‘the arts’) is also embodying Saraswati. 

Lakshmi, I’ve called her my home-girl for years.  I once had an experience while meditating of her coming to me.  Another time, while in San Diego, a woman of a friend I was staying with, just randomly shared that Lakshmi was one of my ‘guides’.  Anyway, I’ve always felt a particular affinity to this goddess.  Still searching for the perfect statue of her.  She is the bestower of fortune and wealth. Not just material wealth, but spiritual wealth, which is something I have always valued.  She is often attributed as the goddess of health and beauty, as well.  I’ve been blessed with amazing health and well, as far as the beauty part, I do my best to be that inside and out. 

I believe true beauty is a result of who you are ‘being” and radiates out from within.  Outer beauty does not necessarily relate to inner beauty, however, inner beauty always finds its way out. 

I think it’s great to study whatever goddesses appeal to you.  What are their different aspects and characteristics that you most identify with and which qualities could you use more of in your life? 

Use this time of Navaratri to do your own research on any goddesses that appeal to you or take at look at some of your Divine feminine qualities and see where you could improve, where you are doing well, and what do you want to embody moving forward.  

Here is a list, my friend Merrill Chandler, came up with for high-vibration feminine traits to get you thinking: Vulnerable, Intuitive, Creative, Inspiring, Receptive, Nurturing, Interdependent, Trusting, Collaborative, Accountable.  

Some of the low-vibe feminine traits would be: Wishy-Washy, Weak, Pushover, Dreamer, Smothering, Follower, Gullible, Compromising, Victim.   

So go get your Goddess on!!  Now is the time!! Feel free to share some of your favorite goddesses, and their traits that speak to you. Post some pics of your fave goddess or better yet, as yourSelf embodying something that speaks to you.  

Shine on, shine on, beautiful peeps!!