How Do You Curate Beauty?

On March 13, 2020, in the early days of the covid-19 quarantine, I made a very simple post that said this,

“This is a corona-free zone. Don’t contribute to the chaos. Please. Do whatever is in your power to stay out of fear. Your anxiety, panic, hoarding mentality, and chaos contributes to the collective vibe. Energy... it’s a thing. Clean up your space by being positive, sharing your toilet paper😂, talking about your grandkids, your new projects and things you’re passionate about. Be kind. Have compassion. Tell some jokes. Eat healthy delicious food. 

If you’re going to tap into your fear.... maybe dig a lil deeper and see what it’s triggered within and what it’s really about. Do some work around it. It won’t be just about this dumb virus. There will be more. Learn to be the peace within which is your birthright. But it’s a practice, peeps. It requires some conscious effort like meditation, spending time in nature and silence. If you did any of that more than tapping into the crazy, you’d be good. Peace in Peeps.”🙏🏼💕🌙

Below it I’d taken a picture of me in that moment, legs crossed in my fave leggings, eating some delicious organic coconut yogurt with nuts and a bowl of berries on the side, I had a beautiful version of Hare Krishna by Wah! playing in the background. In the picture happened to be this huge book of Buddha in pinks and blues that perfectly matched the rug I’d intentionally placed it by. What you can’t see is that I’d just read a beautiful verse form the Rig Veda.  On the picture I wrote:

Relax People

Eat some healthy food

Read some uplifting books

Listen to some holy tunes

Make yourself a cup of tea and…

Breathe

I was surprised by how many shares and likes that simple post received. For me, it was just a very typical morning in my life of how I’ve started my day for years and similarly for decades. Carefully chosen organic healthy food, holy, inspiring music and texts, meditation and mindfulness. It has created a rock-solid foundation for me that keeps me grounded and at peace amidst all kinds of storms and chaos. 

I believe that what we seek, we will always find, whether it’s positive or negative. When I was a young teen, I had a poster I’d hung near my bed of some people hiking on a beautiful, sunny, autumn day. The quote on the poster was from the Bible Jeremiah 29:13 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” I kept it for years, brought it to college with me and it gladdened my heart and inspired me so much. I was clear, that if I had a question, I would find the answer. 

I used to say I was a seeker of truth, reading all the holy books, venturing out to all the different churches, investing in a degree in theology from the Jesuits at Boston College. I was a serious seeker. What I’ve come to see is that I’ve concurrently been a seeker of beauty. In fact, I can hardly separate the two. I can so relate and feel straight to my bones the line from Keats poem, Ode on a Grecian Urn:

 "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all

                Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

Beauty—it’s one of my highest values. I see it everywhere and in everything. I find it in places that most wouldn’t, in my own heart-break and devastation, in the joyful faces of people in India living in abject poverty, at the end of fall, just before winter when everything is dead and colorless. I see beauty. I can’t not see it in literally everything. 

I create beauty in my surroundings, inside and out. I decorate my home not by anyone else’s standards, but by that which brings joy to my heart. The perfect whimsical pillows in just the right spot, the fuzzy rugs, and blankets, the holy statues gathered from around the world of Buddhas, goddesses, and planets. I have altars in various rooms and live plants and bonsais that become friends. I place bird feeders out every window and keep them filled to attract more friends that delight my 5-year-old-heart at every sighting. Outside I make every yard I live in better than when I found it, raking old leaves, gathering unwanted debris, planting herbs and flowers, putting up twinkly lights in all the right spots, setting up cozy sitting areas, fire-pits and hammocks. I create beauty.

I curate beauty by knowing who I am and what delights and inspires my Soul. I love this verb ‘to curate’. It means to collect, select and present information or items for people to use or enjoy, using your professional or expert knowledge. A curator is a keeper or custodian of a museum or other collection. A curator has expert knowledge and gathers that which is relevant. Become a ‘conscious curator’ of your Soul and surround yourself with all that brings you joy and nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Do you know what those things are? 

For starters, I buy the healthiest, most delicious organic food that my budget allows. I prefer to mindfully prepare my food to going out to dinners, or take-out. I enjoy infusing my food with love for those I have the privilege to share it with. I surround mySelf with the most inspiring, high calibrating books and refer to them often and share what I’ve found with those around me. I like to buy things that have spiritual meaning and significance to me to place around my home to inspire. I only buy clothes that I absolutely love, in fabrics and colors that I find nurturing and comfortable to be myself in.

It makes sense that I’d also curate my friends and the people I spend time with. I’ve let go of many that drained my energy and vitality with negativity and victim mentality. I hold close to those that are authentic, can tell me like it is, and that feel good to my heart. It’s a much smaller circle, but what it lacks in breadth it more than makes up for in depth, sincerity, and warmth. 

In these more quiet times of quarantine and social distancing, use your time wisely. Remember that old saying, “cleanliness is next to godliness.” I hated it as a messy kid, now however, I totally get it. Messes and disorganization distract us, it’s like background noise you don’t like.  A friend of mine calls it psychic drag. Go through your home, if you don’t love something, give it away or repurpose it. Clean up the piles, manage the paper, hang up your clothes, and organize all your stuff. Now everything you did externally, go within and do some spring-cleaning of your Soul. Let go, forgive, move on, quit your addictions, write the letter, send the text, make the phone call. Integrate, purge, embody, transform. 

Any area of your life you’ve declared a disaster zone, clean it up, fix it or let it go. How can you make these areas more beautiful? First, you can inject love. Love is always the answer, no matter the question, a wise lil owl once told me. Second, you can change your perspective about the situation, by seeing the 10,000-foot view. What’s good about the situation, or what could be good about it? How could you re-frame things to write a better story that is more in alignment with the truth you want to live? 

You have been gifted some much-needed down-time. Ask yourSelf the big questions like who am I, what do a really want and what is my purpose here?  If you find it difficult to just rest in the quiet and be with yourself without turning on the tv, or incessant social media, ask yourself why. What are you avoiding? What don’t you want to see? Survey all areas of your life for what’s authentic and what isn’t. What areas light you up and make your heart smile and which areas feel heavy, no fun and out-worn? Where do you see beauty and where does your life deserve an overhaul? 

The things that are true for you, that are genuine and authentic, will always be beautiful. They will energize and enliven you. The things that are fake and false, that insult your soul, are not for you and will never be sustainable. When you try to be that which you are not, it is life-draining. When you try to fit in at a job you hate, with friends that don’t share your values, or do things just because everybody else is or you feel it’s what’s expected of you, it will always feel heavy. Fake, false and inauthentic equals life-suck and soul-less.  Authentic, true and genuine equals beauty and soul-full.  

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." Choose beauty. Choose truth. Choose you. It’s all you need to know. #ISEEBEAUTY

“I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of heart’s affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as Beauty must be truth whether it existed before or not. For I have the same idea of all our passions as of love, they are all in their sublime, creative of essential beauty….”~John Keats in his letter to Amy Lowell

Are We Accountable for Our Energy, Too??

How do you feel about being responsible for how your energy lands with another person?  What do I mean by that?  I mean, how your words, actions, tone, or energy are perceived on the other end of your action, or lack of action.  Do you think it matters?  Do you think you are responsible, or is it the fault of the interpreter?  What if they interpreted you accurately? They sensed your anger or rage and felt it, do you have any accountability for what then unfolds?

Here’s a personal example of what I mean.  I was involved in a very volatile relationship over 9 years ago.  At the time, myself and numerous others would have labeled my then boyfriend ‘verbally abusive’.  He was a yeller alright, especially when he’d been drinking and smoking.  I’m not much of a crier, nor have I ever considered myself a doormat and I don’t scare easily, however, I was often brought to tears and found myself in the fetal position concerned for my safety, a time or two.   It was very easy for me to play the victim and even lie to myself that I was innocent.  After all, I certainly didn’t yell at him like that.  I didn’t drink and smoke and get ‘out-of-control’. I was half his size— he certainly wasn’t afraid of me!  I was an innocent victim…or was I??

At the time, I didn’t know a lot about energy.  I felt if I said fairly nice words, even if I was pissed inside, my ‘nice words’ were all that counted.  If someone interpreted that I was angry, I could deny it all day long because, all I said was, “x, y, z”…nothing aggressive in that.  Benign words.  Towards the end of this relationship, I mostly felt like I hated this person.  I would talk poorly about him behind his back, get sympathy from others.  I would have a smile on my face in his presence, whilst having an energetic knife behind my back, ready to stab him (energetically) at any and every given moment.  I would think evil thoughts like, ‘hope your plane crashes’, when he went out of town.  Don’t tell me you have never had that thought about anybody??  Ok, it’s only me :(

This person was highly empathic and sensitive to energy.  He absolutely felt my hater vibe, be it conscious or likely sub-conscious.  My behavior didn’t have to be out-of-control, yelling and screaming, or anything.  Since I rarely made the kind of outbursts he did, it was easy to point the finger at him, and on paper, if we were in a court of law, I would be vindicated and he would be charged.  However, that would not be an accountable story, knowing what I know and feel about energy now.  

My hater-energy, absolutely contributed to his emotional outbursts.  He is a sensitive soul and he could feel it.  It absolutely caused him to react.  For me to claim otherwise, would be an outright lack of accountability.  I’m sure I was also passive-aggressive and raised my voice at times as well.  However, the energy is what I refused to see.  I played the victim role well and got plenty of agreement from everyone around me. I could not see at that time, that my energy was making a huge contribution to his negative behavior.   

I recently met with the wife of one of my addiction clients.  She said she came home to her husband to find him passed out with a can (for huffing) still in his hands.  Her initial report, was that she gently took the can out of his hands, gave him a kiss on the cheek and went to the other room.  She reports she didn’t say anything or get pissed like she has in the passed.  After talking further with her, it was clear that she was in a rage about it and was so disappointed in her husband.  He too, was consequently upset with her, interpreted her kiss as ‘sniffing him for evidence’ and was super annoyed and frustrated.  

We worked on a more accountable version.  She was pissed as fuck, and bit her tongue and couldn’t stop thinking about it.  In turn, it caused her to treat her husband poorly, which had him feel judged and he remained in his resentment for her, though she hadn’t ‘done’ anything.  However, her energy was felt, and her self-proclaimed  ‘kind actions’ were not met with gratitude, because her energy spoke the real truth of the negativity that she felt and was projecting.  

I had another client that used to get so pissed that his kids would leave out the cereal boxes in the morning and all of their bowls.  The kids knew this annoyed him and that he was always nagging about it.  He started to bite his tongue, the mess continued.  After some work, he finally let go of his attachment to the kitchen needing to be clean.  His energy shifted.  He decided that if it really bothered him, he’d clean it up with no energy or make-wrong vibe towards the kids.  Before he knew it, the kids were picking up their dishes and putting the cereal away because there was no more judgmental energy around it.  

Some more examples of people being unaccountable for our energy would be this: 

You are having a discussion with a small group of 3-4 people, someone barges into the conversation, interrupting with their own agenda, cutting the others off.  

You are at a meeting when a co-worker arrives late.  They are completely disheveled, and immediately bursts out their story of why they weren’t there earlier, completely hi-jacking the meeting.

Somebody saying something super hurtful, with no concern as to how it will land with  or affect the listener.  

A parent comes home from work, he’s had a horrible day.  Everybody knows it, without him saying a word.  He slams the door, kicks the dog, starts yelling about toys on the floor or chores not being done, immediately upon walking in.  Everybody runs for the hills. 

Scientology has an interesting concept that is quite similar to this.  They say, “don’t have a conversation with someone that is not capable of hearing it.”  For example, say you had an affair 15 years ago, and you know if you share that information, it will be devastating to your partner.  The only reason you want to share is to ease your guilty conscious and get it off your chest.  Scientology would say not to share in that case. I would call that simply being accountable for how you’re communication is going to land with people.  This means to put yourself in the others shoes, and think about how they are going to feel about what you have to say.  Is there a better way to communicate it so your message can be heard?  Is it really necessary?

Maybe you are really smart, and you know some cool things that others could benefit from.  How accountable are you about caring if those on the other end are comprehending you?  Are you more caught up in your superiority, industry-jargon, and your own ego, to adjust for someone else?  Do you just feel, if they don’t get it, that’s their problem?  Is it ever yours?  How responsible do you feel to communicate in such a way that the other understands?  Especially in your intimate relationships?  Is that important to you?  Do you genuinely desire and make an effort to speak the other’s language?  Do you care if you are misunderstood? Are you ever told that you have mis-interpreted someones intentions or words? Do you ask for clarification when you aren’t clear?  

I’m not saying we get to be the care-taker of everyone’s feelings and misinterpretations of us.  I’m not saying it’s your fault if someone feels a certain way after you speak (or roar). I’m not saying you have to tip-toe around everyone and curb yourself at every turn.  No. I’m saying, life just runs better when you actually care; when you choose to be kind.

  

Before any words cross your lips, my mentor(s) at the Chopra Center, David Simon and Davidji, said we deserve to ask ourselves 3 Questions: Is it true?  Is it necessary? and Is it kind?  Some Buddhist teachings say before you speak, you should ask: Is it factual?  Is it true?  Is it beneficial? Is it agreeable?  Is it endearing? And is it timely?  If it isn’t all of those things, apparently, you should save it.  

These are a couple of different, yet similar concepts I am attempting to combine and share:  When you have shitty energy, are you accountable for it?  Do you ‘bite your tongue’, not say something or say a lie to keep the peace? All the while, your energy is screaming the opposite of peace, and you lie to yourself that you’ve done nothing wrong.   Do you consider not just your energy, but your communication and how that lands with others?  

It’s just about bringing some awareness around being accountable not only for our actions, but for our words, and our energy and asking ourselves the question, do we care how our words, actions and energy lands with others? Can we look outside of ourselves and into the heart of the other(s)? Can we love ourSelves enough to inject a little grace into our conversations? Can we have compassion and seek to understand? Or will we continue to speak as if we are the only ones listening? Are we more loving in the way we speak to our pets, than our loved ones? Just a few questions, I have.

It is my supposition that by being more conscious about your communication and how it lands, and the delivery of your energy, wether it is attached to action or no action, you will receive better results in your life.  You will be able to have more authentic interactions, a greater understanding/Self-awareness of yourself and compassion for others.  You will become more thoughtful, considerate and kind.  People, pets and babies will want to be around you…..you will win friends, influence people and start a revolution.  Before you speak ask yourSelf, Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?  Ask of your energy: Is my energy positive and uplifting? Is my energy intimidating and threatening? Is my energy dramatic and out-of-control? Is my energy inviting or repelling others?  

Just because you had a bad day at the office, does not mean you deserve to bring that shitty-energy into your home to share with the wife and kids.  An accountable person, would deal with that energy through meditation, simple releasing and letting go techniques and enter his home with inviting, warm energy.  

Just because you are pissed that your favorite team lost the playoffs, does not give you the right to kick the dog or yell at the kids.  

Just because you were cut off in traffic, does not mean you have to honk your horn, give your middle finger, and ride somebody’s tail.  

You are not at the whim of your every thought and feeling…you are not your feelings, you are not your thoughts. You are the observer, the silent witness.  Let go.  You CAN be kind under ANY circumstance.  Kindness is a always a choice.  Be the change.  Breathe the change.  Live the change.  “We are all connected.  Be kind.” slogan of ulovemeloveu on FB.

Try it on for a week.  Ask yourSelf the 3 questions before you speak.  Practice inserting kindness in all of your interactions.  Monitor your energy.  Check in before you enter into a group of people or just one other.  Are you able to be present?  If you have some major chaos or turbulence happening on the inside, maybe you share with whomever you’re with so they aren’t wondering if they may have offended you in any way.  Maybe when you get home you say, Mommy’s had a rough day today, I’m going to go take a bubble bath and meditate, I’ll be out in an hour in a better mood :) That’s accountable.  Barking at the kids and saying you’re pissed at them because their chores aren’t done, is un-accountable.  

I get this is just another layer of accountability, that most people will not want to take on.  It’s burden enough for most to simply be accountable for their actions!  I get it, and, like I said, what’s in it for you?  Peace of mind.  Feeling good about yourSelf.  People will want to be around you when you check your grumpy-ass energy at the door.  You will become a much more conscious creator of your world, circumstances and events.  And if that isn’t enticing enough, I hear there are still some empty caves in the Himalayas.  Shine on, shine on, beautiful Peeps!!  We are all just walking each other home.  

Great video from my mentor, Davidji below:

https://youtu.be/ojEybvwYYDg

The Universe Wants to be Seen by YOU!!

Trust me, I know how fortunate I am… I also know that I'm a conscious creator and that I'm 100% accountable for my world and what shows up in it.

I have always believed that I am lucky, that the universe loves me, that I am supported from the unseen, that the world is a friendly and beautiful place.

I acknowledge the fact that I am a very powerful creator and manifestor... When I was little, my dad used to say, Laurie just opens her hands and pennies from heaven fall from the sky. Whenever I'm having a challenging time, I just remember that... And I remember who I am.

I believe one of the reasons for this is that I am always in complete gratitude … Whether I am sea-sick or not, whether I'm here in tropical paradise, all expenses paid, or I'm at my cottage in 5° weather watching my birds or coaching clients from my house... I am happy and grateful… And sometimes a little lonely and sad, but always grateful for whatever life brings... Always embracing exactly what is, knowing that if there is something I don't like, it's only up to me to change it... There is no one else to blame or fix it for me or to be accountable for *my* life. 

I believe the universe wants to be 'seen' by us… Just like we want to be 'seen' by others. We want to be seen for the truth of us, for the magnificence that we are and also loved for our humanity and frailties.

You've heard the axiom, as above so below… As within so without...? So it just makes sense to me that if we want to be seen and acknowledged, so does the universe.

I've had this crazy idea for a long time, that the universe wants to reveal itself to me. And the more excited and grateful I am for the places I travel to and the more I share, the more it wants to show me.

I have this idea that when I was in Aruba in my twenties thinking that was so fabulous, the universe said oh yeah, wait till we show you Bora-Bora!! You're really going to love that... In fact, you are going to love it so much that we're going to send you three times in 3 different ways!!

When I travel, whether it's Bora-Bora, BVI, Paris, or India, Idaho and Wyoming....or simply at my humble, enchanted cottage~ I see beauty everywhere...and in everything. I see it in the faces and poverty of India… I see it in the beauty of the islands, I see it in the way the sun shines on things at different times of day, I see beauty in stars, rocks and trees. I see beauty in you… And sometimes I see beauty in mySelf.

I have this (probably annoying) habit of taking pictures of everything because I want to share it, because I want *you* to see beauty in everything and everywhere too. And because I want to capture the impermanence and transience of each moment, and have a witness, if only in pictures, of the amazing life that I live. I also do it to remind mySelf to be grateful always, to never take a sunset for granted, or a tropical trip or a friendship, or anything… EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.... And it is because everything is so temporary that it is so beautiful.

I love my life, I love the work I get to do with people in assisting them in creating lives they are in love with too, I love where I live and I always love to travel-anywhere, I love my friends and *Soul Family* sooo much. You make my heart smile and bring the sunshine to my world. My life is more beautiful with you all in it. I love Facebook and all my virtual friends and that feeling that we are all just sitting in someone's living room chatting it up...I love the unity it brings with people around the world that I may never have had the opportunity to know.

Life is beautiful, and not just when you're in the tropics. Start seeing it...I promise you, if you change they way you look at things, the things you look at will change. YOU will change. You can choose to see everything as a miracle or you can choose to see the negative and complain. It's nobody else's job to 'fix' your life. You have the powah...if only you knew it. If only you are brave enough to take it on. When you make a decision and just begin to take steps in the direction that your Soul longs to go, unseen forces will rise to support you and you will gain power with every new step that you take. A smile will creep across your lips and linger, your tired lil heart will feel lighter and you will get shinier and shinier. And before you know it, there won't be a soul on the planet that you would trade your life for because yours will be of your own conscious, often hard-won design.

Shine on, shine on peeps!! There's a big, bright beautiful world out there that would love to be 'seen' and experienced by you. What are you waiting for?! Go make snow angels already....and I'll go make one in the sand!! (((Hugs))) all around! Xoxo