Sunday, November 20, 2022

Breathe Fire? by Laurie Frazier

       One does not become enlightened

 by imagining figures of light, 

but by making the darkness conscious.”

~Carl Jung


Consciousness expands only when we integrate something from the unconscious/shadow. When we are fully aware of and embrace our own darkness within, is when we truly become whole, stop living in fear, and step into our true power.


I’ve had this fridge magnet for years with a picture of a lady in a dress smoking a long cigarette and looking cool af that says, “She had not yet decided whether to use her power for good or evil.’  (Insert mwahahahah)


What that quote has always communicated to me loud and clear is the power of choice. She is just observing. She isn’t reacting to a fucking thing. She is surveying the scene with amusement….watching all the fuckheads, deciding if it’s worth her time to retaliate, and if the entertainment value will be worth it or if she’ll be better served by just turning and walking away. She can choose either. That’s where the power lies. 

If she had not integrated her own monster (see Jordan Peterson), she might be afraid. She may not know what to say or do when somebody fucks with her. She’ll have to talk to her friends about it and see what they think…yawn. 


The thing is if you never fight back, if all you give out is love and light, if you let people walk all over you, and never say a peep, for you to continue with that behavior…. Is that virtuous? No. You lack courage and balls and hide under the guise of virtue signaling. 

“ If you are not capable of cruelty, you are a victim to anyone that is.”

~J. Peterson.


On the other end of this scale are the pathetically evil people. They tend to be reactive, emotional powder kegs, ready to explode with any given trigger. They have no control over their choices. They are not the observer. They are the reactor. They react to their lust and addiction to sex, drugs, and alcohol, they react to their desperate need for validation, and they react when they realize they have no power or control over even themselves. They are powerless to choose from a place of goodness and morality that doesn’t involve manipulation. 


Both are a result of the total denial of their shadow, and the fear of taking a deep, hard look within. It’s easier for all of them to just point their fingers in the direction of those who’ve done them wrong, or to those they themselves have wronged (reverse victim mode). 


The thing about really good people is that they are consciously choosing to be so. They’re not choosing it bc they don’t know how to fight back, they’re not choosing it because they are afraid to do otherwise or are fearful of what others may think of them. They are choosing it because they can. 


Let me speak for mySelf as that’s really all I know….


Because I have real-life experience of standing up for myself over and over, because I’ve verbally bitch-slapped numerous people in the face with no fear, because I have taken from those that have taken from me with no shame, because I have sent evil straight back to the sender with no concern of any repercussions…and I’m not afraid to use my darkness against the forces of evil and feel 100% justified while I'm doing it….that makes me whole—and according to Jordan Peterson, “dangerous.”  


Because of this, when I choose not to return evil with evil, it’s a conscious choice because I’m also not easily triggered. It's very easy for me to walk away. 


Howeverrrr, there may be rare situations when I do choose the dark, and it won’t be unconsciously or because I’m being reactive to another’s injustice. Rest assured, it will be calculated and exacting for maximum impact and all the forces of Light will be on my side if I choose to do so. My choice to invoke the powers of hell will come from ancient wisdom, the ancestors, and the law of reciprocity—not stupidity and my ego. 


I believe that wherever there is the potential for the greatest good, the opposite must also be true. One must know oneSelf as capable of both— therein lies the virtue. To observe. To respond and not react. To put on your armor or walk the fuck away. These days I just ask myself, which one will be more entertaining? 


What about you? Have you integrated your 'monster'? Do you know what he/she is capable of? It's not an easy task for those (especially women) who have been taught their entire lives to "be nice". It's nothing I've ever aspired to when there are soooo many more interesting things one can be.


I was fortunate to be raised by a looong line of badass women that knew how to speak their truth and had the power to control their own destinies. I passed that on to my daughters, and I hope you'll stop telling yours to "be nice". 


 "As for my girls, I'll raise them to believe they breathe fire."~Jessica Kirkland


Friday, December 31, 2021

2022 Another World is on Her Way...


As I was reflecting on 2021 and the year ahead…the word hope came to mind. Instantly I was reminded of a self-development program I participated in almost 20 years ago where we were told, “There is no hope.” At the time, I totally bought it. I was a believer and a know-er. I didn’t need hope. It was certainly nothing I’d ever relied upon. It felt kinda like Yoda where he says, “There is no try, there is just do.” There is no hope…you just know or you don’t. 


My world was pretty black and white back then. I agreed with them. There is no hope. Fuck hope. Forge through and create your own reality, bitches. That’s what I’d been doing all of my life. Fortunately for me, my super-powers have been recognizing truth, exposing falsehoods, and having faith in something greater than my physical self—even if it’s just my Higher Self. 


I’ve also had a very strong inner knowing about things…my path…my mission in life…what my next steps were. I’d ponder, go within or in nature…my answers always came quickly and I’ve been blessed to never doubt that voice. I’ve taken bold steps forward towards whatever answers I’ve received no matter how crazy they appeared to those around me. I never “hoped” things would work out in my life—I just knew they would.
 
As I thought about this, an old scripture from somewhere came to mind—“…for some it is given to know, and for others it is given to believe on the words of another…” I’ve been blessed to always know—even in my darkest hours. But I’m clear now that is not everyone’s blessing—and it certainly wasn't mine this summer, either.


I found myself in a slump, wondering what it was all for? Why even move ahead with my purpose work and mission when the world is completely going to hell—seemingly beyond repair. Why will anyone care about spirituality, healthy relationships, politics, etc when they may not even have food to eat if things continue like this. So much craziness in the world, how would we ever be able to turn things around.

 
I found myself at a farmer’s market talking to a beautiful shine-y 80 year old man that had an heirloom tomato booth. I had a couple of amazing friends that showed up to remind me of who I am. And I got a clear download that my only job was to stay inspired. So I took that advice to heart and went back to work on my projects, but I was just going through the motions.


 I decided to volunteer in that tomato garden. I wasn’t in that garden more than 5 minutes when I felt a palpable surge of what hope must feel like. It’s like the Light had returned to the building. It was someone’s back yard that my new friend had rented and had turned into the most beautifully organized rows and rows of tomatoes, basil, squash, cucumbers, blackberries, etc. In that moment, as I picked what seemed to be no end in sight to ripe, cherry tomatoes, the sun was peaking through a near by peach tree, there were a handful of happy people in the garden harvesting tomatoes, and all the bad news on CNN seemed to evaporate like a think fog at sunrise. This was real life. This garden community was the embodiment of hope, I thought. There were no signs of the bs being spouted on the tv here. 



No gloom and doom, no death and destruction, no tyranny or antifa in sight. Just happy, healthy people, creating life from tiny seeds and harvesting the real fruits of all of their love and labor. Almost all of us volunteering…gladly accepting all the tomatoes we could eat in dynamic exchange. I recalled a time my sister took up cross-stitching right after our grand-father had passed and she called it her “cross-stitch therapy” These Saturday mornings in the garden were clearly becoming my “tomato therapy” to a world gone bad. 


I became a believer in hope in that garden in the summer of 2021. I thought all could be well in the world if everyone just turned their yards into gardens. Such a small step…had the potential to change everything, I thought. 


As 2022 looms with as much uncertainty as the previous two, may I offer a glimmer of hope on this literal dark moon in which we enter the new year. Seems an appropriate entre, though. The Dark Moon occurs approximately two days before the New Moon when the sky is completely dark. Often correlated with a dark night of the Soul moment. It’s one of those in-between moments when the light of the waning moon has dissipated, but before the ever so slight, shimmering crescent of the New Moon appears. If there were one symbol of hope, I'd choose a new moon for sure—or a garden. 


We find ourselves in a dark place, some of us are lacking hope that the light may ever return at all. It is always darkest before the dawn. But the dawn always comes and the sun always rises. At this New Year’s Eve, as we recall year’s past attending parties, making merry, setting our resolutions, and a flurry of activity, may I suggest something a little more meaningful and more appropriate for the time we find ourselves…perhaps a moment of rest and reflection on the past year.  


This is a time of stillness and wisdom. It’s a completion of a cycle, so before we forge ahead, what is it that we would like to leave behind? What have you simply had enough of…what is it that you will no longer stand for? Are you ready to end that toxic relationship or that job that no longer sets your soul on fire? What old, worn out ways of being just aren’t working for you anymore? What would serve you best to let go of? 


In Numerology the year 2022 equates to a six year, the planet Venus, and the tarot card of The Lover’s. Many think The Lovers card is all about romance, relationships and new partnerships and while it is, it’s also about a turning point, a choice making year—even a crisis point year. Will you choose one path over another…will you take this direction or that…will you choose to stay in a relationship or choose to move on…or perhaps you will seek to bring together seemingly opposing factors into one harmonious unit. 


We all have a choice to make this year. Will we choose love or will we choose to remain in fear? Will we choose to unite…or succumb to the separation and segregation being foisted upon us? Will we choose freedom or comply to more tyranny? This is not a year to be in the middle of the road.
As Venus retrogrades in Capricorn and hovers around Pluto…this energy is asking us to re-evaluate what is important to us on a soul-deep level. What do we value…really? What is the most authentic thing for us in this new space that we find ourselves? Who do we want to move forward with in this new world to come? What and who sets your soul on fire? What goals are worthy of your time, energy and effort?


Maybe these questions feel heavy. It’s been a pretty dark couple of years…if your hope is waning, if it’s difficult for you to imagine a new, more beautiful world… I got you. I believe, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”


In order for the new to come, there must be a death of the old. I believe this is what we are experiencing. Apparently we were just too comfortable to notice the shit show that was and has been all around us…from how our children have been being educated, to big Pharma getting out of control, to our country accepting all the processed foods, pesticides and additives that smarter countries have banned, to fraudulent elections and power hungry politicians that feel no responsibility to their constituents, to the fake news media, to a healthcare system that cares nothing for science, to exalting that which is toxic and banning all that is truly healthy, to censorship that is obvious even to the ignorant, to promoting neither safe nor effective jabs over boosting one’s natural immunity…FFS….you can’t not see ALL of this?! I’m ok to see a massive demise of all of the above! Let it all come crashing down. 


My hope/trust/belief/knowing is that a new Earth is on its way. One where we unite not only as neighbors and countrymen/women, but citizens of the world. I believe countless humans around the globe have had enough and are standing up for their rights and their freedom.

I believe more parents than ever are finally taking an interest in their children’s learning and are banning together to create alternative homeschool/neighborhood alternatives.

I believe good doctors, nurses, natural paths, herbalist, acupuncturist will one day ban together with therapist, shadow workers, counselors and coaches to holistically heal their patients.

I believe that one day a prescription of forest bathing, yoga & meditation, eating live wholesome foods, or getting a pet to care for will be as common a cure and more effective than a slip for pain pills or anti-depressants.

I believe one day we will no longer accept toxic pesticides on our food, or tolerate processed and artificial foods on our grocery shelves, but will opt for farmer’s market’s, neighborhood gardens, and learning to grow our own food again. 

I believe one day, we will all do work that we love, that feels meaningful and purposeful and no one will settle for a job or a relationship that is not their authentic truth. I believe in a world that welcomes the creation of free energy, free internet, and creative and innovative invention in all areas of life. 

I believe that new Earth is on its way. To assist in the ushering in of this new Earth, may I suggest, on this New Year’s Eve and day, some quiet time for re-evaluation…for re-thinking, re-imagining, re-aligning with your heart-centered desires, gaining clarity on your highest values. Perhaps simplifying your life to its barest essentials so that you may have the energy to take action on what is the most important to you, and where you can make your most joyful and authentic contribution to a world that is in need of YOU, your Light, your positive energy, and your wisdom. 

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”― Margaret Mead


I believe that as each of us begins taking some kind of deliberate action, the Light will return. Such a small steps…can change everything. It’s not hard to imagine, with enough people involved in various areas, how quickly things can change for the better.

 
Look at the impact the Frontline Doctors have made. People all over the world want change. WE are the majority. Pick a thing. Choose something you are passionate about and get involved!! Be the change. Soon that small glimmer of hope will turn into the Light of a hundred suns and dispel the darkness that has enshrouded us and we will indeed find ourselves forging a path to that other world on her way. 

Much love, blessings and hope for a new dawn in 2022. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2021


 

Happy Winter Solstice to All.

It is at the darkest point in the year, that the world unites to celebrate the return of the Light. Not when it’s at its brightest…but when its been through the darkest night of the Soul…and a small flicker of light breaks through at the end of a very long tunnel. 

When the darkness gives birth to the Light. That’s when we cheer…when we have just a glimmer of hope that the Sun is returning. It’s been one of our darkest years for sure…but out of the darkness is born the Prince of Peace. Out of the ruble and destruction of the past can a new world emerge.

May we turn our gaze inward at this time, acknowledge the heaviness of our own darkness, the hell we’ve been through, the separation and isolation we have felt, and just embrace it and let it go. 

It’s time to excavate our own Light, give birth to the Christ consciousness within and dream a new world into being. Who are you? Why have you chosen to be here at this time on Earth? What authentic gifts will you choose to bring forth to bring this new dream into reality? 

WE are the ones we’ve been waiting for…no one is coming to save us. Only unity will save us. Love is the answer. Choose freedom over security, devotion over duty, and wisdom over knowledge. 

Align with the energy of this Winter Solstice as we move boldly forward into the  future.~laurie frazier

*Just a lil instagram post from 12/21  #wintersolstice #winter #winter2021 #lauriefrazier #mavenofmoksha #BEAUTIFULSILENCE #silence #light #returnofthelight #wintersolstice2021 #geminifullmoon #venusretrograde  #christconsciousness #surya #sunworshipper #stonehenge

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Ode to 2020


Found this on my computer...something I started writing in January and never really finished or edited...just posting almost as a journal entry...

Thank you 2020 for all your Fuckery to wake people up
For people to see that conspiracy theories we’re not just theories.
For people to be alerted to the dangers of vaccines
For people to appreciate a free economy and the beauty of owning your own business.
Thank you 2020 for waking people up to the possibility of losing their freedom.
Thank you 2020 for helping us to appreciate mobility, free travel, and toilet paper
Thank you 2020 for helping us to appreciate breathing clean air and not being silenced
For alerting us to the evils of censorship and
the so very obvious fuckery of the main stream media
Thank you 2020 for alerting us to the truth of the deep state in collusion with the main stream media, Big Pharma, and the Central Banking System
Thank you 2020 for that perfect fucking 20/20 vision to see truth more clearly than ever before. What a godsend you have been to our planet.
Thank you 2020 for showing us that if we curtailed some of our unnecessary travel how quickly Mother Earth will repair herself without being a part of the Paris Accord or other green new deal bullshit.
Thank you 2020 for helping us to see how important our relationships are or just how dysfunctional and fucked they are because we had to spend more time with each other.
Thank you 2020 for helping us to see that we could do a lot more work from home than we ever thought possible, but also that we like going to our place of business for the social and communal aspect.
Thank you 2020 for helping us to figure out that we could design a different life for ourselves, for helping us to find new ways of making money...
For helping us lose jobs that we hated or to lose a business that we loved and how important that really is to us— or not.
Thank you for the downtime to hear ourSelves think.
Thank you 2020 for helping us reevaluate every fucking thing in our lives and for helping us see blessings in the simple things.
You won't be forgotten any time soon.

Friday, March 19, 2021

Range, Transformation, & the Spring Equinox

    

I’ve been a spiritual teacher for 40 years now…seriously. Around the age of 14-15 I joined this group called Fellowship of Christian Atheltes. When I ws a junior in high school I was VP and as a senior I was President of that group. One of the things I taught were attributes of Christ…what the Bible said about it and how we could be more like Jesus. In college, I was part of a group called Jews for Jesus, and I ran my own Bible study in the dorm while majoring in Theology and World Religions. In my early 20’s, I started reading Deepak Chopra, Gary Zukav and Elkhart Tolle. I became interested in Eastern Religions and ways of life. When the Secret came out, I bought it for everyone I knew, sent it out for Christmas with a note saying, “Here’s what I’ve been trying to say for decades, all in one little DVD. Enjoy.”  

    Then came the Moon Show, that had an almost 7 year run…I get requests all the time to bring it back. And most know I’m a Chopra Certified instructor & and an Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor. Blah, blah, blah…over the past year, if anyone had visited my Facebook page, none of that would have been evident. I took a deep dive into the political arena and current events. Many of my social media followers did not like it, and I lost a lot of “friends.” I’ve had many people let me know that I needed to return to my old Self…that they didn’t like this Laurie, and they wanted all my old posts back. Others weren’t so gentle with their criticism. 

    I’ve been sitting with that for a few months, “toned it down”,  and have been contemplating all of this. Was it a mistake to be so public with my opinions in this hostile environment? Should I stop posting things that are controversial? Should I go back to my peaceful planet? Get my “followers” back? “Ewww” are the words that spill out of my mouth as I write these lines….and a big, “Fuck no,” is my answer. 

It’s like growing up a girl you’re expected to choose—are you going to be smart, beautiful or funny? Because you certainly can’t be all three. And now…am I going to define mySelf as spiritual or political? Am I going to write about how to tap into your inner intuition, find your purpose and passion, or shall I share the horrors of socialism, communism, and experimental inoculations? Hmmmm. Decisions…decisions. 


First of all, I’m certainly not going to allow anyone to tell me what to do—crossed that bridge decades ago—ask my mother. I’ve been the boss of me most of my life. Here’s the deal, people—we can be ALL the things.


 When I graduated from Boston College, I wanted to go to law school and get into politics…I ended up getting married instead and getting into motherhood. Throughout the years, I leaned much more to the spiritual side, and when there where issues that were important to me, I’d speak up—like fluoride in the water, or having to vaccinate my kids (which I did not do). I always felt like politics was such a corrupt system (on both sides) and that there just wasn’t much I could do—no difference to be made—so I stayed out of it. And all those years, my life stayed pretty much the same. I got exemptions for the vaccines that I refused, I traveled the world, bought water elsewhere, and political ideologies came and went with each election. Same, same.


We are no longer in that #samesame place. Shit has gotten real. Our civil liberties, our constitutional rights, our inalienable rights are hanging by a very short thread, and are disappearing with every letter I type. What we do now—makes a difference—to our children, our grandchildren and to our quality of life. To me….those things—freedom, god-given-rights, free travel, what I do with my own body/temple IS SPIRITUAL. It is the classic battle between good and evil. And for me—I’m not about to sit back waving the rose quartz Love and Light Wand, whilst burying my head in the sand repeating meaningless mantras and affirmations. Sorry, NOT SORRY. I have a voice, and I’m going to use it—whenever I feel so inspired to do so. I’m going to share the things I learn, know and believe—my intention is ALWAYS that it is for the betterment, health & well-being of others within my reach. 


This all seems to fall into my old category of #toomuch. Why is it that people want to limit us  and put us into a two-dimensional container they can understand? There’s Susie, she is super hot, there’s Mike he is a techno wizard, there’s Annie she’s a spiritual guru, Andy—he’s a conspiracy guy and Joe…well he’s just a lazy fuck. I think it makes people feel safe, they think they know you, how you’ll respond to things and it makes them feel safe. If they put you in a box, allow you to have your one thing you’re good at or known for—then  at least they can feel superior in a different category. Heaven forbid you are sharing the same gig. 


But that’s not me—and, I’m sure it’s not you either. We’ve got range. I used to say that with a bestie of mine when we were in the dating world. I’m not just a pretty face! I’m smart, too…and sometimes—I’m fucking funny. I have a variety of interests and several areas of expertise. I can have a great conversation with just about anyone on the planet. I don’t fear life…I’m not afraid of people. That makes me a lil formidable I guess…a tad dangerous. I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade or walk mask-less into any given place of business.

 

I’ve been feeling a huge shift coming on…a transformation of life as I know it. For the past 5 years, I’ve been isolated on a mountain top during the snowiest winter on record, I got rid of all of my stuff (again) to go off and be a humanitarian indefinitely in Romania & Nepal, almost died in India, got the message I was “off-purpose” and was told to go home and write my books. Having no choice as I was literally at deaths door, I came back. And, I’ve been writing for 3 years…almost exclusively, and mostly in self-appointed lock-down. I’ve completed two books, completely different one that is currently being edited, to be released SOON. The other is one in a 4 part series that I hope to have out the end of the year. 


During this “quiet time” I met someone. A perfect some one for me, and he says I am the perfect someone for him. It’s better than I’d even imagined in all my silent manifesting. Could not be happier together….and It’s been complicated. When we met he was in the process of divorcing. As both of my divorces were over in 2 weeks or less because there were no issues—I basically said,”…you can have it all, I’m out,”—twice, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Well…apparently divorce isn’t that simple for most people, and this divorce is now going on a year and a half. Funny…I’d already started writing, Get A Fucking Divorce, Already and let’s just say, it’s given me a lot more material to work with…coincidence? Ahhh the Universe is always fucking with me in the most playful and humorous ways. Well, I’d like to think I’ve not created this long-drawn-out situation…we’ll see. Ask me next year when my book is selling off the shelves!


    So back to transformation…it’s coming for me. I’ve been a request for it. The quiet life is on it’s way out. I adopted two very active Bengal Cats a couple weeks ago—they’ve already changed my life. I’ll soon be a published author and a bonus mom to 4 young kids! I have several other businesses in the works that will begin unfolding. 

My man and I took a drive to look at some beautiful homes in Park City on Sunday. I barely touched my wrist and my Mala beads of ELEVEN YEARS that I wear nearly everyday, just fell off! I purchased these sandalwood Mala beads at the Chopra Center when I began my certification in the Chopra teacher training program. I was definitely starting a new path—I became a life coach soon after. They have been with me all over the world— Bali, Bora Bora, London, Paris, Rishikesh, Singapore, Japan and through at least 4 relationships. 


Mala means prayer, so they’re like prayer beads, not a lot different from my Catholic rosary. When I put these on in the morning I feel like I’m putting on the “armor of God”, as I have used these “prayer beads” in daily meditation for years. They’re kind of like my security blanket. And just like that, with no strain or pressure, they just let go. A broken Mala symbolizes a broken cycle. It's a sign to bring new intentions into your life as your current ones no longer serve you—which is exactly what I’d been doing. 


It was definitely “a sign” and it wasn’t lost on me that I’d been talking about transformation non-stop. I’ve been actively creating what I want my new life to look like. The day prior, I decided to do an in-depth cleanse for 21 days…felt like it would be the  necessary reset and transition into the next phase of my life. And… I had a chat with my snake, Verdi, of 16 years, to let him know what’s up. Turns out he sheds at approximately the time I’m going through major transformations. That was yesterday for him. Today my landlord said the home I’d been in for 3 years had sold so now a move is on the horizon—so if you know of a magical place…! Meanwhile, the Universe continues to speak of my unfolding transformation…right as the vernal Equinox arrives tomorrow.  


 I look with wonder at all that is before me with gratitude. Goodness, magic and mercy seem to follow me all the days of my life. You can expect that I will continue to broaden my “range”, as I hope you will do the same, ever evolving. I will always be that Spiritual Soul first—that is my come from in all that I do—it’s my core and my foundation. Knowing mySelf, trusting my intuition, and following my heart are what I do best. You can find me spreading my wings and playing the role of author, relationship transformer,  and activist. Time for Laurie 5.5


Blessed Spring to you all…may we cease resisting our own blooming and embrace all there is to unfold in grace and perfection. 

Monday, March 23, 2020

How Do You Curate Beauty?

On March 13, 2020, in the early days of the covid-19 quarantine, I made a very simple post that said this,

“This is a corona-free zone. Don’t contribute to the chaos. Please. Do whatever is in your power to stay out of fear. Your anxiety, panic, hoarding mentality, and chaos contributes to the collective vibe. Energy... it’s a thing. Clean up your space by being positive, sharing your toilet paperπŸ˜‚, talking about your grandkids, your new projects and things you’re passionate about. Be kind. Have compassion. Tell some jokes. Eat healthy delicious food. 

If you’re going to tap into your fear.... maybe dig a lil deeper and see what it’s triggered within and what it’s really about. Do some work around it. It won’t be just about this dumb virus. There will be more. Learn to be the peace within which is your birthright. But it’s a practice, peeps. It requires some conscious effort like meditation, spending time in nature and silence. If you did any of that more than tapping into the crazy, you’d be good. Peace in Peeps.”πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’•πŸŒ™

Below it I’d taken a picture of me in that moment, legs crossed in my fave leggings, eating some delicious organic coconut yogurt with nuts and a bowl of berries on the side, I had a beautiful version of Hare Krishna by Wah! playing in the background. In the picture happened to be this huge book of Buddha in pinks and blues that perfectly matched the rug I’d intentionally placed it by. What you can’t see is that I’d just read a beautiful verse form the Rig Veda.  On the picture I wrote:

Relax People
Eat some healthy food
Read some uplifting books
Listen to some holy tunes
Make yourself a cup of tea and…
Breathe

I was surprised by how many shares and likes that simple post received. For me, it was just a very typical morning in my life of how I’ve started my day for years and similarly for decades. Carefully chosen organic healthy food, holy, inspiring music and texts, meditation and mindfulness. It has created a rock-solid foundation for me that keeps me grounded and at peace amidst all kinds of storms and chaos. 

I believe that what we seek, we will always find, whether it’s positive or negative. When I was a young teen, I had a poster I’d hung near my bed of some people hiking on a beautiful, sunny, autumn day. The quote on the poster was from the Bible Jeremiah 29:13 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” I kept it for years, brought it to college with me and it gladdened my heart and inspired me so much. I was clear, that if I had a question, I would find the answer. 

I used to say I was a seeker of truth, reading all the holy books, venturing out to all the different churches, investing in a degree in theology from the Jesuits at Boston College. I was a serious seeker. What I’ve come to see is that I’ve concurrently been a seeker of beauty. In fact, I can hardly separate the two. I can so relate and feel straight to my bones the line from Keats poem, Ode on a Grecian Urn:

 "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
                Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

Beauty—it’s one of my highest values. I see it everywhere and in everything. I find it in places that most wouldn’t, in my own heart-break and devastation, in the joyful faces of people in India living in abject poverty, at the end of fall, just before winter when everything is dead and colorless. I see beauty. I can’t not see it in literally everything. 

I create beauty in my surroundings, inside and out. I decorate my home not by anyone else’s standards, but by that which brings joy to my heart. The perfect whimsical pillows in just the right spot, the fuzzy rugs, and blankets, the holy statues gathered from around the world of Buddhas, goddesses, and planets. I have altars in various rooms and live plants and bonsais that become friends. I place bird feeders out every window and keep them filled to attract more friends that delight my 5-year-old-heart at every sighting. Outside I make every yard I live in better than when I found it, raking old leaves, gathering unwanted debris, planting herbs and flowers, putting up twinkly lights in all the right spots, setting up cozy sitting areas, fire-pits and hammocks. I create beauty.

I curate beauty by knowing who I am and what delights and inspires my Soul. I love this verb ‘to curate’. It means to collect, select and present information or items for people to use or enjoy, using your professional or expert knowledge. A curator is a keeper or custodian of a museum or other collection. A curator has expert knowledge and gathers that which is relevant. Become a ‘conscious curator’ of your Soul and surround yourself with all that brings you joy and nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Do you know what those things are? 

For starters, I buy the healthiest, most delicious organic food that my budget allows. I prefer to mindfully prepare my food to going out to dinners, or take-out. I enjoy infusing my food with love for those I have the privilege to share it with. I surround mySelf with the most inspiring, high calibrating books and refer to them often and share what I’ve found with those around me. I like to buy things that have spiritual meaning and significance to me to place around my home to inspire. I only buy clothes that I absolutely love, in fabrics and colors that I find nurturing and comfortable to be myself in.

It makes sense that I’d also curate my friends and the people I spend time with. I’ve let go of many that drained my energy and vitality with negativity and victim mentality. I hold close to those that are authentic, can tell me like it is, and that feel good to my heart. It’s a much smaller circle, but what it lacks in breadth it more than makes up for in depth, sincerity, and warmth. 

In these more quiet times of quarantine and social distancing, use your time wisely. Remember that old saying, “cleanliness is next to godliness.” I hated it as a messy kid, now however, I totally get it. Messes and disorganization distract us, it’s like background noise you don’t like.  A friend of mine calls it psychic drag. Go through your home, if you don’t love something, give it away or repurpose it. Clean up the piles, manage the paper, hang up your clothes, and organize all your stuff. Now everything you did externally, go within and do some spring-cleaning of your Soul. Let go, forgive, move on, quit your addictions, write the letter, send the text, make the phone call. Integrate, purge, embody, transform. 

Any area of your life you’ve declared a disaster zone, clean it up, fix it or let it go. How can you make these areas more beautiful? First, you can inject love. Love is always the answer, no matter the question, a wise lil owl once told me. Second, you can change your perspective about the situation, by seeing the 10,000-foot view. What’s good about the situation, or what could be good about it? How could you re-frame things to write a better story that is more in alignment with the truth you want to live? 

You have been gifted some much-needed down-time. Ask yourSelf the big questions like who am I, what do a really want and what is my purpose here?  If you find it difficult to just rest in the quiet and be with yourself without turning on the tv, or incessant social media, ask yourself why. What are you avoiding? What don’t you want to see? Survey all areas of your life for what’s authentic and what isn’t. What areas light you up and make your heart smile and which areas feel heavy, no fun and out-worn? Where do you see beauty and where does your life deserve an overhaul? 

The things that are true for you, that are genuine and authentic, will always be beautiful. They will energize and enliven you. The things that are fake and false, that insult your soul, are not for you and will never be sustainable. When you try to be that which you are not, it is life-draining. When you try to fit in at a job you hate, with friends that don’t share your values, or do things just because everybody else is or you feel it’s what’s expected of you, it will always feel heavy. Fake, false and inauthentic equals life-suck and soul-less.  Authentic, true and genuine equals beauty and soul-full.  
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." Choose beauty. Choose truth. Choose you. It’s all you need to know. #ISEEBEAUTY


“I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of heart’s affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as Beauty must be truth whether it existed before or not. For I have the same idea of all our passions as of love, they are all in their sublime, creative of essential beauty….”~John Keats in his letter to Amy Lowell

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Rescue Mission To Reclaim the Neglected & Abandoned

Photo Cred: @kimzier11 Instagram
Does anybody else love exploring old and abandoned buildings? I've had a passion for this since I could walk. What’s that?!? What is in THERE? With wild abandon I still charge past the no trespassing and do not enter signs, as if they were invisible and certainly never intended for me. Those are for people that live in fear and follow the rules for their own safety and all the other bullshit they were taught. I certainly wasn’t afraid of crumbling buildings, overgrown weeds, or snakes and spiders that may have been lurking around the next corner. Nor did the thought of bums that may have taken up residence concern me, ‘cuz well… I made friends easily. I certainly wasn’t going to worry myself with getting in trouble, because who was going to be in any of these godforsaken, abandoned places anyway? Besides, if some law enforcement happened to show…remember—people like me. None of that ‘what if’ shit ever registered with my head-strong lil Aries Soul. The rules were never for me, and when confronted with one, it always felt like a challenge to be immediately broken, just because it dared to exist in my presence.  

I came across a picture today of an old, deserted Victorian home, similar to the one in which I grew up in Maine. I was struck, as I always am, by my love and intrigue for the abandoned and neglected. My first remembrance of this was as a child, exploring Mrs. LaSalle's all but forgotten, scary building behind her home. She was an elderly, unkind woman and former teacher. Inside this odd building were damp and dusty books with pictures of naked body parts and galaxies that surely contained the mysteries of the Universe to a 6-year-olds imagination. To make it even creepier,  a real-life skeleton lurked in the corner. There was never much light in there, it had a weird smell and you can imagine the crazy stories the neighborhood kids would make up about this mysterious place. I was warned repeatedly not to go in there but the place just oozed with the dark and unknown and I couldn’t help myself. 

I’m taking a couple of classes currently, one on depth psychology and the other on the shadow and astrology, so I decided to explore this curiosity a little more. This fascination of neglected and abandoned buildings has been a theme in my dreams and in life has expanded into retrieving, reclaiming and renovating places like that. The home I’m in now was abandoned for over a year when it landed in my lap, in desperate need of some TLC. Needless to say, with a little help, lots of cleaning, painting, love and sweat equity, I’ve shined it up to a proper palace worthy of this goddess. 

AddPhoto Cred: @szary.burek on Instagram
When I lived on a beautiful property I called The Enchanted Cottage, I went to work (often with the assistance of others—but always driven by my love of the place) at reclaiming the forested acre lot. It was completely over-grown and hardly walkable. By the end of my 10 years of devoted service, there were twig-lined paths, a renovated tree-house, and countless herbs, flowers, and bird-feeders scattered perfectly about. Many of the trees I’d climbed myself to place twinkly lights and hang wind chimes to make it extra magical. 

Why, though? Why couldn’t I just find the perfect spot from the beginning? Why did I always have to feel like I was rescuing something? Well… enter junior psychologist. Maybe it's because I’ve felt abandoned, neglected and unwanted. Hmmm...way to go Sherlock. It's always been my core wounding. I have been reclaiming myself through rescuing birds with broken wings, feeding small, wild creatures, and providing a roof and warm meal to various friends and family members in need for years. I’m the one inviting all those folks with no place to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas over for dinner. I’ve always gotten into homes bigger than I needed just in case…somebody else needs a spot. I’ve never wanted anyone to feel abandoned on my watch, or to feel alone without assistance in a cold, cruel world. Always providing a message of hope for the weary traveler of life. “Ooh, child….things are going to get easier and brighter.” Oh…how sweet, lil Laurie. No….that wasn’t it. 

It was all just bread crumbs from my soul regarding my deepest shadow desire to be loved and nurtured arising from my deepest shadow fear of being rejected and abandoned. For someone to say to me, you…YOU are worth saving. YOU are worth my time, effort and industry to see that you have all that you need to thrive, dear one. I adore all that you are. Every crack and crevice, every shadow and unexplored dark and dreary place within…every pettiness, meanness, and smallness. I will love all of those places inside of you every bit as much (and maybe more) as all your magnificent, outstanding, exceptional and exquisite places. Your brilliant, sacred, and beautiful Soul I will revere along with your grace, freedom, and wisdom. I embrace all that you are, with every bit of my heart and soul. You will never want for anything and I will always cradle you within my arms like the wide-open Universe holds its treasured stars, planets, and galaxies. You will be cherished and adored as if the hope of all humanity resides in your perfect blossoming and unfolding. You are that important to all of creation. 

Is that not our deepest desire? To be loved and cherished exactly as we are in this moment, and all past and future moments? To be so cherished that none would ever dream of casting us off? 

We are that important to all of creation. We are here to heal ourselves from our perceived brokenness over lifetimes. We are here to gather up all the seeming fragments of our Soul over eons of misunderstood abuse, poverty, rejection, and abandonment. We are here to feel all of the rage, shame, guilt, apathy, fear, pride, and grief of those lifetimes and transmute and transcend it all to higher levels of consciousness where all of it is accepted, honored and embraced. Where none of the shadow aspects of humanity are left behind but are loved into wholeness. We feel, therefore we are. We embrace all because we are one.  

Where have you ever felt rejected and abandoned, and how can you go about not doing that same thing to yourSelf any longer? How and where do you deserve reclaiming? How can you give yourSelf that gift? Where have you been orphaned? What aspects of yourself have you just completely neglected like some red-headed step-child? Is it your health? Weight? Spirituality? Anger? Desire? Your passions? What have you put on the shelf and said, ‘you will have to wait’…or 'you don’t deserve this or that' or 'that isn’t important right now'? And how dare you deny your Soul its very life, breath, and passion? Who are you (shell/ego/boss) to say your art will have to wait…finding love will have to wait…taking care of your body will have to wait… being angry will have to wait? How dare you? How dare you deny yourself well-being, vitality, excitement, and joy. For what? And 'til when? (When do you get to reclaim and renovate your Soul?) 

This isn’t about blaming or shaming somebody for not giving these things to you. This isn’t about finding the right somebody that will be all that for you. It's about reclaiming ourSelves, ourSelves. It is about loving ourSelves and our perceived stories of being cast-off, abused and abandoned and making it right within ourSelves by refusing to continue the abuse. It’s about us loving us enough to allow ourSelves everything that we need and desire. It’s about feeling worthy and giving ourselves permission to eat the cake, paint the picture, explore unchartered territory within ourSelves. It's about having the curiosity to explore those hidden depths of our own psyche like a lover. It's about feeling all the love and compassion of our Higher Selves, knowing all was purposeful and for our benefit. It's about giving ourSelves permission to fully love the entirety of our own Selves with the wild, ecstatic abandon of the Divine that resides within us. 

I realized my love for this exploration of seemingly dark and abandoned places has translated so beautifully into my life’s work, mission, and passion. Through reclaiming and renovating my own Soul, by acknowledging, loving and embracing all the parts I felt were unlovable, undesirable, and unwanted within mySelf,  I can now love and honor them in others. Where there was judgment, I now find acceptance.



I've come to the realization that what I find lurking in the shadows of another has become the most beautiful to me. It is their darkness I long to embrace, the perfection in their seeming imperfection that holds my intrigue. Perhaps it's because they hide it from most and I feel honored and trusted when they allow that aspect of themselves out in my presence. Maybe it's because it's the most intimate and vulnerable place within us and as such feels so fragile and everything in me wants to provide a soft landing for its exploration. 
I believe the work of self-discovery into our own depths is the greatest journey we'll ever take. To excavate what we've demonized or abandoned, to find what we've suppressed, repressed, denied and projected in all the various ways and then to lovingly bring it to the surface and into the Light is an act of tremendous courage and bravery. There is nothing more exciting or intriguing to me than the reclamation of seemingly lost Souls (to themselves, only) and their restoration to wholeness. It's always a beautiful thing when our wounds turn into wisdom to heal and bless others. 


So…how do you approach shadow work? Have you taken that deep dive? Do you plunge in head first, with intrigue and excitement like me, or are you the more cautious, trepidatious type? Maybe you’re afraid of what you may find in that abandoned building—a bum, robber, rapist or monster? Maybe it feels like an old lean-to— dangerous, dilapidated, and unsafe in there? Perhaps you read the 'do not enter sign' and you believe someone else knows better than you and you should definitely take heed of the rules. Maybe you fear the consequences of disobedience? Or perhaps you've cast an invisible cloak around your shadow a long time ago and don't even think yours exists. Just notice, what's your typical jam when it comes to this kind of Soul work. 

And if you don't know where to start and you happen to deserve a guide, I may just be your girl!  Blessings beautiful, shadow explorers. May the Light of your own Soul guide you on your path to freedom and Self-love.