On Turning Fifty, Staying Young & Laurie 5.0

In a couple of days, I will have arrived at the door of my fiftieth birthday. I completely embrace it, the way I would an exciting, new love. I have ALWAYS approached each passing decade with the same passion and enthusiasm. Another decade, another lifetime of experience, growth and wisdom. 

People are often shocked by my age and ask what I do to look/feel at least a decade younger (I FEEL 25 btw, not 40)!!  Let me answer that first by sharing what I feel makes one look and feel OLD. 

What makes you old? Having no purpose in life, holding a grudge, being stuck in a religion or marriage that you don't love—that you aren't completely devoted to or excited about, wishing you were somewhere else (with somebody else), not exercising your body and giving it the movement and flexibility it needs, and eating processed, unhealthy food, to name a few of the obvious. Lacking compassion, being mean, needing a controlled (or any) chemical substance to get you through the day i.e. addiction, denying yourself the things that you love, negative thinking and self-talk, limiting false beliefs, endless drama, toxic relationships, expectations, needing to be right, carrying heavy emotions of shame, guilt, fear, apathy, anger etc. make you age.

Being a whiny victim and blaming everyone else including the government, your ex, society, religion, for why your life is the way it is, and not taking accountability for yourself and your actions, makes you old and makes you feel powerless. Not to mention the fact that nobody wants to be around you—which has you feeling lonely, which translates into depression and aging. Stop it already. These things are all so heavy.  Feeling heavy and over-burdened not only has you feeling old, but also has you lacking energy, vitality, health and well-being. It also creates a lack of enthusiasm, irritability, emotional reactivity and cynicism. Are you feeling it? What if you could let go of all that?!? Would you feel young again? Exactly!!  

What keeps me young?

Loving what I do, feeding the birds and the wildlife in my yard, not taking everything personally, letting go of anger and grudges quickly, being with people that I love and adore, getting out side and appreciating nature, being grateful for everything that I have, being grateful and learning from all of my challenges, eating wholesome, healthy food that I love, enjoying a guilty pleasure on occasion, doing exercise that is fun for me, yoga, meditation, meditation, meditation, drinking lots and lots of good clean water every single day, using natural, organic products on my skin, climbing trees, swinging on swings, communing with trees and animals, talking to the sun, moon and stars (and hearing them speak back), believing I have a Divine Team made up of deities, angels, archangels, ascended masters and ancestors that are all rooting for me and assisting me in my highest good, believing the world is a friendly place and that I am always safe and never alone, being in a state of awe, wonder and gratitude more often than not, allowing mySelf to feel my feelings, seeing and creating a magical quality to my life, decorating my home with sacred objects form around the world, creating spaces that are inviting and peaceful, yummy kisses from that special someone, honoring the change of seasons, celebrating holy-days, sharing wisdom, having an amazing circle of friends and acquaintances. This is a short list of the things I love and the things that keep me young.  

What occurs to me writing this, is that allowing mySelf to fill my life with things that I love on a daily and momentary basis, decade after decade, has kept me youthful and happy to be alive. Having and knowing my life’s purpose, being able to earn a living doing it, having it be so varied and interesting, feeling like I am making a difference in the lives of many every day, bursting with new ideas and projects, has me want to live, at the very least another 50 years, if not 100!! 

What can you do to start feeling younger?  You can start by loving your self, making nourishing choices for yourself, creating an environment of friendliness within yourself to yourself, allowing yourself to love what you love, allowing your self to be happy, allowing yourself to do something nice for you, knowing yourself, what you need and what works for you, taking care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  

What's awesome, when you get to be my age ladies (and gents), if you have done a lot of letting go, un-learning, and personal transformation, you feel beautiful on the inside.  When you have used your life to create a masterpiece (whatever that looks like for you), and are simply happy with you, if your looks or youth start to dissipate, it seems negligible, because you feel so beautiful from within, you really couldn't care less about a new wrinkle or a few gray hairs. You will laugh in the face of aging and pity the 20 and 30-somethings that are already injecting their young selves with botox to preserve (with un-natural preservatives/poison) to remedy their lack of self-worth. No amount of outer cosmetic change, will compensate for a poor inner self-image. (And before I get a bunch of flack for this, I realize this isn’t the case for everyone, and I’m not completely opposed. Someday I may choose something…but it won’t be from a space of lack or not-enoughness, or because anyone else thinks I ‘need’ some kind of enhancement.)

So what can you look forward to turning 50? Turning the big 5-0 is when most people are thinking their lives are all downhill now, when most people believe it’s time to get fat and bald, lose your eyesight, hearing and start wearing granny pants, when most people are ready to retire and park themselves in front of their tv’s— I’m calling it Laurie 5.0. The latest and greatest iteration of mySelf. 

The highest version of mySelf has been unfolding. Over the past year, I have just felt so much more grounded and settled in, in such a deep and profound way. 

Settled into making peace with my body, settled into feeling my emotions and not fearing them, settled into a deep knowing of who I am. knowing what's important to me, what nourishes me and feeds my Soul, and frankly what JusT doesn't. 

I have become more patient, tolerant and accepting. I’m less attached to my beliefs, being right or even needing to be understood. I’m choosing peace over drama, love over attachment, letting go over holding-on, and addressing issues rather than sweeping them under the rug. I speak my truth, honor my preferences, and say no when I feel like it, with no excuses or explanation. The people in my life are here because I want them to be, not because I need them to be. Life is good…even when it isn’t.  Hello Fifty…I welcome you with open arms and an open heart. It feels like my life is just beginning. Magic awaits and excitement is underfoot. 

Everything I Need to Know About How to BE, I Learned in The Redwood Forest

I was unexpectedly blessed with a trip to the magnificent Redwood Forest last weekend.  OMG. I am going to attempt to recreate and share with you my experience.  If it resonates, may you be blessed to get your Self there for your own experience.  

I don’t know about you, but Im a tree-lover, climber, hugger…have been my entire life.  I am also a lover of nature and beauty.  I see things, I can’t even help it, nor do I want to.  I’m that person that interrupts with, “Squirrel”, “Beautiful sunset!!”, “Deer!!” I have been fortunate to travel around the world and experience some of the most beautiful places on spaceship Earth.  The Redwoods are now at the top of my list.  For me, if Heaven had a vibe, it would be The Avenue of the Giants. If you are familiar with David Hawkins, Power vs. Force, you may know something about calibration (a number assigned to the energy/emotion of a particular person, event, book, etc.)  For example, shame resonates the lowest, coming in at a 20 and enlightenment at 1000, with love at 500 and peace at 700, suffice it to say, I have no doubt, this spot resonates well around 700+.  It literally feels like my conception of whatever Heaven would feel like.  

Interestingly enough, the day and evening prior, were spent in the contrast of downtown San Fransisco where we were surrounded by homeless, mental illness, great wealth, extreme poverty, crime and the smell of urine in the air.  The vibe of ‘survival of the fittest’, desperation, desire, scarcity, inauthenticity, and fear were palpable.  In fact, it was so over-whelming for our sensitive Souls, that we retired early to get an early morning jump start on our 5 hour drive to commune with the trees.  

Upon our entrance to the area, we were struck with the enormity of the trees and beauty of our simple drive.  As we pulled over and entered what was the most sacred grove of trees I’d ever been in, I literally dropped to my knees.  I was overcome with their tremendous presence.  I’m sure no less overcome than I would have been had I seen a host of heavenly angels lurking within—seriously.  The energy was so completely pure, so contrasting to the experience we’d had the prior evening in the city.  It was all-consuming, you could not walk in and come out unaffected.  

As is normal of my 5 year old inner-Self, when confronted with such a delightful sight, I get giddy, I cant stop oohing and ahhing.  My phone is in instant camera mode and I am taking pictures and snap-chatting to all of my friends, clients and loved ones, picture after picture of every tall tree, fallen tree, sunlight peeking through branches, ground-cover and moss.  I’m doing yoga on the stumps, looking for fairies, peeing in the woods, jumping off of huge logs, pulling off pieces of tree to smell, putting ferns, clover and pieces of dead wood in my pockets to carry home with me and share :)

It truly is the desire of my lil girl heart, to share the beauty of the world that I see with everyone.  A favorite saying of mine is, “Don’t miss the show!!”  What I mean by that is, EVERYTHING is a show!!  EVERYTHING wants to be seen, heard, felt and experienced;  to be known.  I believe it is the deepest desire of ourSelves, to be known by ourSelves!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!? What beauty lies within your magnificent Soul? 

We also want to be seen by the other—to be acknowledged by another human, animal, tree or entity,  that they see the Divinity within us, that the lies and programming of our not being enough are an illusion, that we are not our past, we are not what happened to us, we are not the shitty things we may have done, we are not our addictions, short-comings, perceived failures, bad behaviors or personal appearance.  Under all of that, is the Truth of you.  You are a Divine Being of Light.  You are peace.  You are joy.  You are whole.  DON’T MISS THE SHOW!!   Its all around you…in every leave, critter, sunset, moon-rise, and in every challenge, loss, and heart-break.  There is a SHOW of beauty, of grace, and of the indomitable Spirit in every moment.

Back to the Redwoods.  After my great ‘show’ of exuberance, I finally take a deep breath.  I allow the energy to permeate my Be-ing.  I wander off by mySelf.  I walk for a while, respecting the deep quiet of this sacred space. I inhale my most favorite scent, that of the woods and pine trees.  I grew up in Maine, the Pine Tree State.  There was a row of giant pines that separated my grandparents home, from my cousins, next door.  I spent the majority of my days playing in the woods and climbing trees, not far from our back yard.  I have always felt at home in the woods; trees are my friends.  I had favorites, like I do people.  In this sacred grove, I am over come with gratitude to be experiencing this holy place, to be out of the hustle and bustle of the city, to be away from some of the personal drama in my own life and to be rejuvenating my own Soul in this majestic place.  

As I meander these adorable little paths, I find a tree that looks inviting to sit on.  My exuberance has shifted to that deep stillness, reverence and awe one would feel upon encountering Christ or arriving at some great mecca. I assure you, I would feel no different in the presence of Angels.  Trees are known as ‘the great wisdom keepers’ of our planet.  These tress are thousands of years old.  ”The wisdom they must contain is immense, vast, incomprehensible”, I think to mySelf.  I no sooner have that thought, than a more true thought is inserted into my mind, “You are the same, Miss.  You too, contain the wisdom of the ages. Through all your lifetimes of study and experience, you too are everything you see and feel here. You are just like these majestic trees.”

With even more reverence, I assume my usual meditation position of half lotus and hands up to receive.  I get the memo to turn my hands over and place them below me to the tree upon which I sit.  Immediately an energy courses through my veins, and again I am overwhelmed and take a breath into, and adjust to this new frequency.  I have the thought that everything I need to know about how to BE, I can learn right here in this place. I want to absorb and embody everything I am feeling here on a cellular level such that I may recall it, presence it, be it and share it. 

Then I have the thought to do a chakra meditation and blessing of sorts to anchor in this energy in every way.  Let me say something here, I believe anyone with good intentions can bestow a blessing upon us and that we can intend a blessing for ourSelves.  I don’t believe that you have to have some ordained priest or minister lay their hands on your head, travel to India, or that you have to be a man to do so—how ludicrous. So, I begin my meditation and it goes something like this:

Beginning with my first chakra, my root, Mulhadara in Sanskrit, I presence the end of my tailbone area.  I connect with the grounding  energy of the earth beneath me and the tree on which i sit.  I feel the safety of being in the womb. I feel the protection of the enormous Redwoods.  I smell the scent of pine and earth. I say/bless, “May I be strong, stable and grounded like the roots of these trees.  May I feel the beautiful grounding connection with Mother Earth that is always present.  May I always feel the safety, protection and nurturing of this sacred grove."  (These words in parenthesis to follow, are ancient chants/mantras associated with each chakra I describe prior. Simply chanting them brings those particular chakras into alignment and resonance.) ((( LAM ))) 

Moving up to my second chakra, my sacral area, Swadishtana in Sanskrit.  I think about the feeling of this place.  I feel alive.  Every sense is heightened. I feel an energetic vibrancy rich with possibility. I can almost taste the air it is so rich with oxygen and nutrients.   I bless, “May I always treat my sexuality as sacred as this sacred grove.  If the experience is not rooted in the sacred, may I choose out.  May I honor my feelings and remember the energy of this place to transform any negativity to that of neutrality or love. May I be blessed with and open to the stream of creativity that is always flowing.  May I give birth to my most noble projects with effortless ease."  ((( VAM )))

Moving up to my third chakra, my seat of power, Manipura in Sanskrit. I connect to the tremendous strength of these sentinels that have stood for thousands of years. I sense what fortitude it would take to stick around that long. The clarity of knowing who they are and the nobility and grace that exudes. I see their beauty and authenticity.  I bless,  “May I align myself with the power and strength of these enormous trees.  May I embody the majesty and nobility exuded here, that I may lead with grace, humility and surety.  May I stand firm in my convictions, with confidence and uprightness.”   ((( RAM )))

Moving up to my fourth chakra, heart chakra, Anahata, in Sanskrit.  I think about how judgmental I can be. I notice how much my Being has revered these trees from the moment I laid eyes on them.  I think of my great exuberance and joy to be in their presence.  I am touched by the generosity of their giving; the overwhelming love and acceptance I feel. I say, “May I greet all sentient beings with the same awe, wonder and reverence that I have paid these trees.  May I see only Divinity in all beings.  May my heart be open to love and accepting of all that is.”  ((( YUM )))

On to my fifth chakra, my throat chakra, Vishuda in Sanskrit. I notice the abundance all around me.  There is no scarcity of trees, leaves, ground cover or fresh air.  The purity and authenticity of nature is breath-taking. There is no artifice here. I can hear the immense quiet.  I imagine, bringing any question or challenge to this space and the answer is instant. Anything that is not true and real, would fall away.  Negativity could not exist in this energy. I say/bless:  “May I stand tall like these trees and  speak my truth with conviction, grace and humility.  May I be blessed with abundance and affluence in all my creative endeavors.  May I be blessed with the gift of discernment for my greatest good and that of others. May the words from my mouth, edify and uplift all those in my presence.”  ((( HUM)))

Moving on to the sixth chakra, my sixth sense, third eye, Ajna in Sanskrit.  I notice that my intuition feels great clarity here, there is no noise to distract.  Inner-knowing is effortless and comes naturally.  My purpose is given wings to fly through vitalized vision. I bless, “May my third eye be touched by these wisdom keepers, that I may know wisdom.  May I be blessed with intuition for mySelf and those I guide.  May I be a clear channel to receive the Light that I may share it with others.  May my dreams and visions be brought from the unmanifest into material form. May I tap into the wisdom of the ages through accessing that still place within mySelf.”  ((( SHUM )))

And finally ending with the seventh chakra, crown chakra, the thousand petaled lotus, Sahaswara in Sanskrit.  I notice the stillness and consciousness present is palpable.  I feel like I am swimming in a sea of pure-potentiality, pure awareness, pure divinity.  All is possible in this place.  I notice how straight and tall these Redwoods stand and how they are always looking up and seeking the Light.  I feel their majesty and great nobility as if they are Ascended Masters incarnate. I bless, “May I remain open to the Divine and my higher-Self.  May I effortlessly access that place that is within each one of us, where we are all one and separation is but an illusion.  May my Soul be fed and nourished by the infinite cosmos. May I live in a state of grace and enlightenment.”  ((( OM )))

The Universe is always talking to us…are you listening? Everything is a show? Are you seeing? We all are beautiful, majestic, noble beings just like these angelic Redwoods.  Do you feel it? Do you know that the truth of you is beauty?  That the truth of you is peace? That the truth of you is Divine? We too, grow forever.  Our souls are ever-evolving.  Within us lies the wisdom of the ages.  All you need to do is be still, like the forest.  Go within.  Tune in.  Just be.  Listen. Be open.  Share.  And Shine-on, Shine-on, beautiful, majestic peeps!!  Tree-Huggers unite!!

~Laurie Frazier

Maven of Moksha

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”

― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

When I Am Among the Trees

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees, 

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

   but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, "Stay awhile."

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,

"and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine. ~Mary Oliver

Certain poetry speaks to my Soul…this one did.  “I would say that they (the trees) save me, and daily.”  How that line speaks to me. When I read it first, in a bookstore yesterday, it brought tears to my eyes.  I think all my life, trees, bodies of water and sunshine have ‘saved me’…have been manna to me in my most challenging and heart-breaking moments.  They do give off  ‘hints of gladness’  no matter what dire situation I find myself—the mere sight of them brings comfort to my weary heart.  A feeling of gratitude rushes over me, for the beauty that I am always surrounded by.  

There is no need to ‘phone a friend’ …trees are my friends.  Sunshine is my salvation.  I am enveloped by grace. Held in the hands of a loving Universe.  

I may not always ‘walk slowly’ but I do ‘bow often’.  Each morning I am caught off guard by the beauty I get to open my eyes to. Lately, it’s the buzzing of the hummingbirds outside my window that act as my alarm.  Sometimes it’s the mama doe and her two lil cuties.  

It’s an interesting dichotomy to feel your heart-break open from sadness and beauty, almost in the same moment.  Lately, the two are becoming indistinguishable to me.  I am often so awestruck by a view in a moment, that my 5-year-old heart almost bursts and the tears stream down my tender cheeks.   Tears of gratitude that I get to be a witness of such astounding beauty, tears of ‘what if this is my last life on planet Earth’, tears that I have ‘eyes to see’ and not miss it. 

Then there’s the heartbreak, even with the acceptance of what is and what must be, for we all have our own path to walk, my mother’s heart weeps.  Weeps that I should have done something different, weeps for my child’s uncertain future weeps for his aching heart. 

My heart has been heavy and overflowing with gratitude at the same time.  I feel.  I am alive.  I love deeply.  My heart aches. I can’t breathe. I am a warrior.  I am a goddess.  I am a lil human.  I am Divine.  I am all that is.  Aham Brahmasmi. 

“And you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.”  See the light through your pain and your darkness.  Go easy. Allow.  Accept. Be. Breathe.  Love.  Shine.  Through it all.  

The Universe Wants to be Seen by YOU!!

Trust me, I know how fortunate I am… I also know that I'm a conscious creator and that I'm 100% accountable for my world and what shows up in it.

I have always believed that I am lucky, that the universe loves me, that I am supported from the unseen, that the world is a friendly and beautiful place.

I acknowledge the fact that I am a very powerful creator and manifestor... When I was little, my dad used to say, Laurie just opens her hands and pennies from heaven fall from the sky. Whenever I'm having a challenging time, I just remember that... And I remember who I am.

I believe one of the reasons for this is that I am always in complete gratitude … Whether I am sea-sick or not, whether I'm here in tropical paradise, all expenses paid, or I'm at my cottage in 5° weather watching my birds or coaching clients from my house... I am happy and grateful… And sometimes a little lonely and sad, but always grateful for whatever life brings... Always embracing exactly what is, knowing that if there is something I don't like, it's only up to me to change it... There is no one else to blame or fix it for me or to be accountable for *my* life. 

I believe the universe wants to be 'seen' by us… Just like we want to be 'seen' by others. We want to be seen for the truth of us, for the magnificence that we are and also loved for our humanity and frailties.

You've heard the axiom, as above so below… As within so without...? So it just makes sense to me that if we want to be seen and acknowledged, so does the universe.

I've had this crazy idea for a long time, that the universe wants to reveal itself to me. And the more excited and grateful I am for the places I travel to and the more I share, the more it wants to show me.

I have this idea that when I was in Aruba in my twenties thinking that was so fabulous, the universe said oh yeah, wait till we show you Bora-Bora!! You're really going to love that... In fact, you are going to love it so much that we're going to send you three times in 3 different ways!!

When I travel, whether it's Bora-Bora, BVI, Paris, or India, Idaho and Wyoming....or simply at my humble, enchanted cottage~ I see beauty everywhere...and in everything. I see it in the faces and poverty of India… I see it in the beauty of the islands, I see it in the way the sun shines on things at different times of day, I see beauty in stars, rocks and trees. I see beauty in you… And sometimes I see beauty in mySelf.

I have this (probably annoying) habit of taking pictures of everything because I want to share it, because I want *you* to see beauty in everything and everywhere too. And because I want to capture the impermanence and transience of each moment, and have a witness, if only in pictures, of the amazing life that I live. I also do it to remind mySelf to be grateful always, to never take a sunset for granted, or a tropical trip or a friendship, or anything… EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.... And it is because everything is so temporary that it is so beautiful.

I love my life, I love the work I get to do with people in assisting them in creating lives they are in love with too, I love where I live and I always love to travel-anywhere, I love my friends and *Soul Family* sooo much. You make my heart smile and bring the sunshine to my world. My life is more beautiful with you all in it. I love Facebook and all my virtual friends and that feeling that we are all just sitting in someone's living room chatting it up...I love the unity it brings with people around the world that I may never have had the opportunity to know.

Life is beautiful, and not just when you're in the tropics. Start seeing it...I promise you, if you change they way you look at things, the things you look at will change. YOU will change. You can choose to see everything as a miracle or you can choose to see the negative and complain. It's nobody else's job to 'fix' your life. You have the powah...if only you knew it. If only you are brave enough to take it on. When you make a decision and just begin to take steps in the direction that your Soul longs to go, unseen forces will rise to support you and you will gain power with every new step that you take. A smile will creep across your lips and linger, your tired lil heart will feel lighter and you will get shinier and shinier. And before you know it, there won't be a soul on the planet that you would trade your life for because yours will be of your own conscious, often hard-won design.

Shine on, shine on peeps!! There's a big, bright beautiful world out there that would love to be 'seen' and experienced by you. What are you waiting for?! Go make snow angels already....and I'll go make one in the sand!! (((Hugs))) all around! Xoxo

What is an Enlightened Relationship?

Many people on our planet are awakening to a new form of romantic relationship. Old notions of “’Til Death Do Us Part”, “For Time and All Eternity”, “And They Lived Happily Ever After” are falling away as evidence by the high divorce rate and failed relationships. The need to own your partner, control or manipulate them, feel victimized by your own unhappiness (and blame it on your partner) no longer serve us.  Relationships deserve an over-haul—better yet, a full-blown transformation.  May I suggest something new—The Enlightened Relationship. Not for the faint of heart. You have to do your own deep personal work to play in this arena. 

To be in an Enlightened Relationship there are a few requirements: 

1. It takes two conscious beings who are willing to be 100% accountable for themSelves and the relationship—not just 50% accountable and blaming their partner for the other fifty. David Hawkins wrote in Power vs. Force, “By taking the responsibility for the consequences of his own perceptions, the observer can transcend the role of victim to an understanding that ‘nothing out there has power over you.’ It isn’t life’s events, but how one reacts to them and the attitude that one has about them, that determines whether such events have a positive or negative effect on one’s life, whether they’re experienced as opportunity or as stress.” 
2. You have to know yourSelf, so you can own your voice and speak your truth about whatever comes up for you in honesty and authenticity. 
3. You have to let go of your attachment to being right as well as your expectations as to how the relationship should look and be ok with accepting what is. 

Just those three alone are enough to exclude most of the population.  How often do you find people that are able to OWN 100% of the issues in their relationships without playing the victim card? How many people do you know actually speak up when they feel hurt, slighted, upset, angry, disappointed? And not to gossip about it and point the finger at their so-called accuser, but to address that particular person without blaming?  And who do you know that has no attachment to being right? Hmmm...small crowd, eh?

So—it’s RARE. And I will tell you, it will be much easier if you are being that person to find that person.  If you are still blaming your parents or your ex for anything in your life, if you don’t value yourSelf enough to speak up for yourSelf, and if you can’t just go with the flow wether you are right or wrong, forget about it. 

However, if you’ve gotten a good grip on those 3 things above, there’s hope for you...read on.

So If I am in a truly enlightened relationship then I will love my partner(s) unconditionally.  I will want for them that which they desire for themselves. I will also hold my own needs and desires equal to that of my partner and not compromise my own truth. 

In an enlightened relationship, I have no need for a commitment or any promise of tomorrow . I understand that security is an illusion and that the need for commitment or monogamy is fear based and does in no way ensure security only gives one a false sense of it. I have no need to tie someone to a future that doesn’t exists so I can allay any fears of them leaving me for someone else. If that happens, I will realize the relationship was no longer serving us, and embrace it with grace, harmony and no hard feelings. Only gratitude for the love that was exchanged and lessons learned will be present. Enlightened relationships shift and transform, they don’t end. They also transition with the same grace and ease that they began...not with the usual drama, anger and resentment common in the old paradigm.  

In this enlightened space, I am able to be completely present and trust that all will unfold perfectly. I trust that the right people will show up at perfectly the right time for me to experience and learn what is next on my Soul’s journey.

I have no expectations in this relationship, nor do I expect my partner to make me happy and/or fulfill all of my needs.  I create happiness for mySelf from within.  The minute I give my power to someone or something outside of mySelf is where all the disappointment and suffering begins. If I think that my partner holds the keys to my happiness, we are both fucked (and I don’t mean in a good way!)  When he doesn’t do what I expect, I am a victim/whiney-bitch and he becomes an asshole. Yuck!! Unfortunately, that old school of thought is still rampant. There are still people that think someone else is responsible for their happiness.  I pity the hair-dressers that have to listen to the stories all day! That’s probably why one of the first things I teach my clients is accountability—it  eliminates all the story and empowers them.   

I will not create an enlightened relationship if I am still identifying with my position, possessions and relationships.  All of those things i.e. job titles, homes, cars and even relationships are transient and impermanent.  If I rely on those things to “make me” happy or to glean my identity from, I will fall apart when one or any of those things leave or disappear.  When I come from the space of self-referral as opposed to object-referral, I know that if all those things and people go away, I am still mySelf—I have the same intrinsic value. 

Enlightened relationships emphasize an abundance mentality not fear and lack. I realize that if my partner loves another it doesn’t mean that he loves me any less.  I am not diminished in any way because he has others that he cares about, nor do I feel less for him because I love another.  Monogamy is a conscious choice that is neither inherently “right” nor “wrong”.  If I choose it, it does not mean that my partner has to make the same choice. It’s about freedom above all else. I don’t manipulate, force, co-erce or guilt my partner into making a choice that is not his truth. I do, however, have open and honest lines of communication with no expectation of particular behaviors. I don’t ask for promises or commitments...my desire is for us to be completely present with each other.  Promises and commitments exist in a fantasy-made-up-future. 

And even if I were given one, I would never hold anybody to it, not that I have that power anyway.  If someone that I was with decided that they would rather be elsewhere, then that’s what I would want for them, too.  Why would I want to deny them the desire of their heart? Why would I want anyone to be with me if they would rather be somewhere else??  That’s just repulsive to me and wreaks of victim-mentality, guilt and manipulation. If I truly love another, I want nothing but my beloved’s desires for himSelf. That doesn’t mean that I don’t experience any sadness or loss.  It just means that I embrace whatever is for the beauty and lesson it provides me at the same time.  

In this relationship I realize that I am responsible for mySelf.  I create my own reality. If I have any obligation, it is simply to be open and honest. I am not responsible for my partner's emotions or reactions to my honest communication.   I understand that I can’t hurt or be hurt by another unless I allow it and choose to be and then I am the only one accountable for my response/reaction. I am never a victim.  This piece alone would create such harmony in relationships. Imagine no pointing fingers and no blame. Moment of silence please. Exhale. Yes, that would be nice. 

Because I love mySelf, I am content being alone.  I already feel whole and complete—I don’t need my partner for that. The time I spend alone is as valuable to me as the time spent with the other.  I’m not dependent on my partner’s physical presence to feel connected.  Because of the relationship and connection we have recognized and consciously created, we *feel* each other through time and space and sometimes lifetimes. We realize that separation is an illusion—that time and/or distance apart has no bearing on our connection to each other. 

Under this system, I love who you are and I have no need to attempt to change you.  If we no longer resonate, we simply and joyfully go our separate ways. I have no need to try to control you or own you.  I trust that everything that happens is for my highest good (and just more fodder for future books lol) I respect and honor that you are a sovereign being as I am. You and I are both FREE to stay or go...there is no binding contract hand-cuffing us together for better or for worse.  All that keeps us together is pure love, interest, passion, peace, harmony.  This enlightened relationship eliminates manipulation, coercion, control, duty and victimhood.  All feel respected and empowered to make choices in their highest and best interest trusting the other to do the same. It’s a new frontier—a kinder, gentler more conscious approach to love, relationship and connection. 

I invite you to go deep and do the personal work necessary to create amazing, conscious, enlightened relationships.  A few things to remember:  1. You must be that which you seek. 2. The most important enlightened relationship you can have is with yourSelf. 3. It’s ALL worth it. 4. It's a work in progress.  I see it as an ever evolving journey, not a destination.  We are still human and we still may have 'stuff' come up—It's how we handle it that's different. 

I believe Kahlil Gibran sums my thoughts up  much more eloquently below:

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”

***My views on this a couple of years later continue to evolve, as do my desires and preferences.  Where as before, I was so bent on my freedom because it seemed to always be taken from me, having healed that, I do desire a committed, monogamous relationship with my beloved and find even more freedom inside of that.  It's all about your personal preferences, your ability to remain authentic to you and to communicate that ever evolving truth as your relationships progress.  

Rosh Hashanah...the Gates of Heaven are Open!!

Most of you may not know this but I graduated from Boston College with a Theology degree. Theology defined by Webster is the STUDY of religious faith, practice, and experience; especially : the study of God and of God's relation to the world also the study of divine things or religious truth; divinity. The word “theology” comes from two Greek words that combined mean “the study of God.” Theology is the art and science of knowing what we can know and understand about God in an organized and understandable manner. I’ve been a “seeker” as long as I can remember. When I was 15, I used to pray for the wisdom of Solomon…not real typical for a teenage girl, I know. I just always wanted to know things..the big things…like how the world works, the mysteries of the Universe and just who is God, anyway.

I have always been intrigued by the sacred texts of world religions from the Bible, Bagavad Gita, Zohar, Tao Te Ching, to the Book of Mormon. I’ve studied Pagan practices, Kabbalah, the law of attraction, writings of Chopra, Dyer, Tolle, and Abraham-Hicks to name a few. Throughout these almost 30 years of continual study, I have gleaned different beliefs and practices that I have felt a particular spriritual “connection” with…things that have spoken to my heart personally. One of those practices or celebrations that has had a tremendous impact on me is Rosh Hashanah.

Rosh Hashanah is the Kabbalistic beginning of the New Year. The Zohar explains that this holiday is one of the major cosmic openings in the heavens that occur throughout the year. They believe that what you do in the next 30 days following Rosh Hashanah and more specifically the 48 hours beginning at sundown of that holiday creates a blueprint for your life for the coming year. That is, all your actions, behaviors and consciousness during these 2 days determine your year!! It is also a time to remove any negativity from the previous year from your ‘field’. Wow!! What would you do if that were true? And if thousands of Jews for thousands of years have believed this, then like a Sanscrit Sutra that has been chanted for eons of time that has come to hold the essence and energy of whatever meaning it was given or revealed, then who am I to say otherwise about Rosh Hashanah.

I have always believed in working with the energies and forces of nature like the lunar cycle, elements: ether, air, earth, fire, water, the directions, North, East, South and West along with all the astrological influences going on at particular times on the planet. I mean, why not…it’s what I call, “going with the flow”. Rosh Hashanah is one of those things that really struck me and I have adopted it as my sacred New Year celebration.

Michael Berg of the Kabbalah Centre International, said of Rosh Hashanah, that it’s as if all the banks or the vaults of Heaven are open during this time and the sign reads: Everyone come in and take what you want. He says to approach it like a poor person who has nothing so you need EVERYTHING….more love, more peace, more money, more everything!! Be greedy with your goals and desires. He says when you get stopped and start thinking, “this could never happen…” THINK EVEN BIGGER. If only you understood how much abundance is awaiting you…

Berg says to make two lists. The first one is all the things you want in the coming year. Then on the second, outline the behavior that will get you those things. He reminds us of a very important detail. In order to get something, you have to give it. So for example, if you want more love and kindness in your relationship, you must GIVE more love and kindness. If you desire more wealth and abundance you must give that. If you feel you have no money to give away, go through your closets find what you no longer need and go bring it to a friend or charity. There are plenty of things that we can give that don’t require money. We can give someone a sincere compliment, a flower, something from your garden, a love note, or a listening ear. We can assist someone weed their yard, move, clean, babysit, or cook a meal. We all have so much, no matter what our circumstances are currently. Some have this notion that they will give when they feel they have…that’s backwards…we must give in order to have.

What I have done in the past during these 48 hours is, I make sure I meditate and get in some yoga, I eat food that is healthy and that I love, I used to make sure I had several appointments lined up and made sure I got a sale during that time when I owned my window business…translation: do something that is income generating, I make plans with the people I want to be part of my life in the upcoming year, I do something nice for somebody else,  I do something fun with my kids and I always WRITE!! I do my best to include everything I can think of that feels yummy to me.  Also I make sure my emotions and frequency remain high and in good spirits by thinking about everything I am grateful for in my life.

The gates are open, the overflow of blessings is available during this time. Whatever you grab or connect with during this time you will have in the coming year! What are you waiting for…go make your lists and prepare for your amazing new year…when you think you have a great list…think even BIGGER!!! Here’s to dream’s being fulfilled and the most AMAZING year EVER…can you FEEL it…I can…bring it on Universe…we are ready!!!

*This picture was taken about 4 years ago during the month of Rosh Hashana.  It was a time that I had recently made some major life changes and my face and posture reflects the deep peace and gratittude I was feeling during that time. Breathe. Receive. Peace. Harmony. Joy. (It was actually the origins of  what has become my signature pose.)

*• There is a lot more information on this topic available at the Kabbalah Centre International. Please feel free to share here anything that you learn with the rest of us. Thanks.

To The Universe...I Feel Your Love...

I wrote this to the Universe on my Birthday in Bora Bora...at the time, it seemed like the only love I could trust...


I feel your love in the warmth of the sun on my bare skin-

your love warms me like that.


I feel your love in the glistening of the waves at sunset-
your love shines on me like that.


I feel your love in the tropical rain storm-
your love nourishes me like that .


I feel your love in the warm, floral scented air-
your love brings me joy like that.


I feel your love in the compassionate palm tree in my sadness-
your love understands like that.


I feel your love in the billowy, downy clouds floating above me-
your love comforts me like that.


I feel your love in the deep blueness of the sky-
your love is true like that.



I feel your love in the crescent moon at dawn that conveys my first birthday wish-
your love is thoughtful like that.


I feel your love in the constellations that shine each night-
your love is faithful like that.


I feel your love in everything...
even through my broken heart...your love is like amazing grace-
your love is healing like that.