TCOY—Take Care of YourSelf

I realize, I have been letting things outside of mySelf disrupt my energy flow, my emotions, my productivity and my joy.  Taking sometime this morning to mySelf, listening to my Celtic Woman music, that has always spoken to my soul in an ancient, almost past life kind-of-way, taking in the most nourishing scenery I have ever been in—no, I’m not in Bora Bora again, I’m in my own home...the first place I’ve ever lived that has really felt like ‘home’ to me...it resonates with the depths of my being, and resting my lil Soul in a space of peace and gratitude. 

Something I’ve become clear about for mySelf, is that it is in my solitude, that my Spirit is most nourished, when I have the most love for mySelf, when I feel the most powerful, when I really ‘see’ ME.  For many, this solitude is very disturbing.  It’s only that way bc you don’t know who you are with...you have been accustomed to rely on outside validation of your existence, for others to ‘tell you’ who you are.  Some people don’t even feel alive unless they are surrounded by chaos...if things are quiet and still they feel something is wrong...their equilibrium is disrupted.  

For me, because of my own upbringing that I used to curse in some respects, I now am eternally grateful.  I was told when I was very young that I was unwanted and that I was a burden so my lil Self did everything I could NOT to be that.  Before I became an over-achiever in school, the best I could do was leave the house when the sun came up and stay gone til it started to get dark so I wouldn’t ‘bother’ anyone.  I promise this isn’t a pity victim story...hang with me.  I have no doubt I got EXACTLY what I deserved and was a request for, for my own Soul to grow.  It was perfect for me.  What happened FOR me in those very young and formative years is that I made a lot of friends.  You can’t have better playmates than trees to climb, pollywogs to catch, rocks and arrowheads to find in the cornfield, and magical, elusive things like snakes, frogs and lizards to chase after and put in your swimming pool.  Trust me, my childhood in Maine was magical. I don’t ever remember a time that I felt bored—still don’t.  

EVERYTHING was enchanting to me. It was a daily adventure of discovery and awe.  Wether it was an unexplored forest, a new or old pond, colorful leaves to be gathered, birds with broken wings to nurse back to health, stray dogs that would tag along, or catching bees in a mason jar in a field of flowers—I became so deeply connected with momma earth and Mr. Sun that it has made an imprint on my Soul.  The Sun truly is my beloved and the trees are my friends...basically all I’ve added to that list is tea and an inordinate amount of books.  

Although I love people, and I do like to go out and see and be seen to an extent, my happy place has always been alone and surrounded by  nature...I’m not suggesting either is better or worse.  It’s both in fact.  It’s great to be comfortable and happy completely alone for extended periods of time...or even just for dinner for some.  It’s also nice to be able to truly connect on an intimate level with ‘people’...not just birds and deer, (she said to herSelf) lol.

What I notice for me when I start paying too much attention to the drama outside of mySelf, when I start giving too much meaning or significance to it, I get out of balance, lose my own still vibe and forget.  Forget who I am, forget that I practice detachment, that none of it is real, that it only has the meaning I give to it, and that it only has the power that I say it does.  Nobody ‘makes’ me feel anything, I am never a victim and there is always something to be learned in whatever space or place that we find ourSelves in—that none of it is ‘wrong’ or ‘shouldn’t be happening’ because it IS.  The practice is to maintain that inner stillness throughout any chaotic events, to respond and not react, to love and not withhold, to accept without judgement and to exercise discernment without turning into pride, and above all else to follow your truth which is usually your heart.

My challenge to you is that when you have had enough, or when you feel emotionally exhausted or you just need to remove yourself from some everyday drama or chaos, to take a good 3 hours (more if you can) to yourSelf.  Do something that feels nourishing to YOU...here are a few ideas that work for me:

1. Take a walk and just ‘see’ everything as if you just arrived on this planet and nothing has a label like mountain or flower or tree...explore things like you have NEVER seen them before.
2. Take a bubble bath, bring your favorite tea and maybe a piece of chocolate, add your favorite essential oils and just breathe, rest and enjoy. 
3. Turn on your favorite introspective music, draw some cards...like tarot or your favorite deck and ask what your Higher Self or the Universe wants to share with you.
4. Turn on some music that makes you happy, crank it up and dance around the house!  My 3 faves right now are: I Lived by One Republic, Home by Philip Philips, Girl on Fire by Alicia Keyes.  
5. Ponder some of the shitty feelings you’ve been having and ask yourSelf how you can turn it around.  Where can you insert love...it’s always the answer.  Can you see things from another perspective? Does it serve you in anyway to have these feelings or beliefs? Can you let it go entirely?
6. This one I almost never do...TAKE A NAP!!  Everything is better when you’ve had some good rest.  I usually opt to meditate again...feels more productive (and there’s my problem, lol) 

My son’s 1st-grade teacher taught him something that  ((( I ))) will never forget, TCOY.  Take Care Of YourSelf!!!!  You can not give what you do not have.  If your well is empty, your acts of love and service will come from a place of duty and obligation and they will feel heavy.  When you ‘fill your well’ life becomes more effortless, it is easier to be patient, it is easier to be kind, it is easier to love.  You can not love others if you do not love yourSelf...someday that will sink in.  Don’t let an axiom that may be over-played be shooed or ignored because you’ve heard it over and over.  Listen again, you can NOT truly LOVE others unless you love yourSelf.  Sacrifice is not love.  Being dutiful is not love.  Being obedient is not love.  Fulfilling your obligations is not love. What is it then??? For you to ponder...I can’t give you all the answers :)) 

For now...Follow Your Bliss...be bold, be free, be beautiful...crank some tunes, get off your lazy sad lil bums and rock out for a bit!!  (Yes, I’m well aware that I am talking to MYSELF) If it works for anyone else, all the merrier!!  ((Loves & Hugs)))

Who Are You?

Over my lifetime there's almost nothing that I haven't lost- including children, husbands, homes, cars, friends, parents, ways of being, religions, thought systems, jobs, loves, etc.

What I have learned is that all of these things are temporary… Every one of them. And that they do not define me. 

They could all go away again, probably most of them will at some point, but I will be okay because I will still be me. I know who I am outside of those "things". 

If you have never asked yourself who would I be if I didn't have xyz… if I wasn't Mrs. so-and-so or I wasn't president of the company or the girl with the great shoes or the dude with the smoking-hot girlfriend…?  Then you are doing yourself a great disservice. 

The number one question of all time has to be "Who am I?" If you don't know who you are outside of your relationships, possessions and positions.... You will be in for a great fall when they disappear as they inevitably do. 

When would NOW be a great time to start posing the question? Who are YOU? 

(Btw for those of you that wonder what I do, this is one of the journeys I take people on...the greatest one you can ever take...the journey of Self-discovery) 

Wishing you much love, blessings & wisdom on your journey, fellow travelers. Remember, we are all just walking each other home. Be gentle with yourSelves, your process and your loved ones! 

(((( Hugs ))) Laurie Frazier 'Maven of Moksha'

Just some random quotes from Moi...

I am who i am…wether you see me or not…your acknowledgement doesn't make me greater, nor does your criticism make me less than. Laurie Frazier 'Maven of Moksha'

Normal people don't want to destroy you…conscious people will look in the mirror before they cast any stones…enlightened people will put down the stones because they see themSelves in you and you in them. Laurie Frazier 'Maven of Moksha'

It's not enough to just read 'conscious' books and 'know' things…that is called knowledge. It is only when you take that 'knowledge' and actually apply it to your life, your issues, your heart-ache, your chaos, that that knowledge becomes WISDOM in your heart.

You must LIVE the Universal Principles to KNOW that they work, when you know that you are in alignment with all that is, you will TRUST enough to let go of the reigns, knowing that whatever happens is for your HIghest good and growth of your Soul.

It doesn't mean you throw your hands in the air with a wtf attitude either. You decide what you want and take steps in the direction of your dreams, all the while, "allowing' and evaluating what is put in your path. There are no accidents, things happen for a reason, the best thing you can do is stop resisting, don't attempt to FORCE your will, but with confidence, TRUST that YOU are manifesting EXACTLY what is in your best interest. Laurie Frazier 'Maven of Moksha

I'm Still a Lil Human

I can’t believe I’m STILL fuc$ing human.  After 35 years dedicated to non-stop evolution and growing my baby Soul, I still have yet to “arrive” ANYWHERE.  Seriously...i have some tools, and I can process through most things...but, my lil feelings still get hurt, I still have insecurities, I get pissed and I struggle with finances, relationships and moving my business forward.  

What I know is...none of my metaphoric skinned knees or bruises will keep me from not playing full out, not exposing my heart 100% and not trusting people.  I will continue to share my heart and my big love, I will continue to embrace whatever the Universe has in store, I will continue to believe that women really want to support each other, that men want to connect on more than a physical level, and that the the world is really a beautiful and benevolent place. 

I will live without fear, I will trust, I will give without expectations, I will see the best in everyone that I meet.  

I will stand for your growth and evolution, like I stand for my own.  I will believe the best about you wether you do about me or not, I will meet you with consciousness and humility when you are in your ‘stuff’ and not being kind.  I will gently remind you that I “SEE” you even when you don’t see yourSelf.  I will see mySelf in your every behavior and not point fingers of judgement for I know that I am you and you are me.  

I will be kind to mySelf as my own humanity, old “stories”, pettiness and insecurities arise.  And...I will gently and lovingly remind mySelf of who I AM.  

Much love from you fellow lil human.

~Laurie Frazier 'Maven of Moksha'

The Universe Wants to be Seen by YOU!!

Trust me, I know how fortunate I am… I also know that I'm a conscious creator and that I'm 100% accountable for my world and what shows up in it.

I have always believed that I am lucky, that the universe loves me, that I am supported from the unseen, that the world is a friendly and beautiful place.

I acknowledge the fact that I am a very powerful creator and manifestor... When I was little, my dad used to say, Laurie just opens her hands and pennies from heaven fall from the sky. Whenever I'm having a challenging time, I just remember that... And I remember who I am.

I believe one of the reasons for this is that I am always in complete gratitude … Whether I am sea-sick or not, whether I'm here in tropical paradise, all expenses paid, or I'm at my cottage in 5° weather watching my birds or coaching clients from my house... I am happy and grateful… And sometimes a little lonely and sad, but always grateful for whatever life brings... Always embracing exactly what is, knowing that if there is something I don't like, it's only up to me to change it... There is no one else to blame or fix it for me or to be accountable for *my* life. 

I believe the universe wants to be 'seen' by us… Just like we want to be 'seen' by others. We want to be seen for the truth of us, for the magnificence that we are and also loved for our humanity and frailties.

You've heard the axiom, as above so below… As within so without...? So it just makes sense to me that if we want to be seen and acknowledged, so does the universe.

I've had this crazy idea for a long time, that the universe wants to reveal itself to me. And the more excited and grateful I am for the places I travel to and the more I share, the more it wants to show me.

I have this idea that when I was in Aruba in my twenties thinking that was so fabulous, the universe said oh yeah, wait till we show you Bora-Bora!! You're really going to love that... In fact, you are going to love it so much that we're going to send you three times in 3 different ways!!

When I travel, whether it's Bora-Bora, BVI, Paris, or India, Idaho and Wyoming....or simply at my humble, enchanted cottage~ I see beauty everywhere...and in everything. I see it in the faces and poverty of India… I see it in the beauty of the islands, I see it in the way the sun shines on things at different times of day, I see beauty in stars, rocks and trees. I see beauty in you… And sometimes I see beauty in mySelf.

I have this (probably annoying) habit of taking pictures of everything because I want to share it, because I want *you* to see beauty in everything and everywhere too. And because I want to capture the impermanence and transience of each moment, and have a witness, if only in pictures, of the amazing life that I live. I also do it to remind mySelf to be grateful always, to never take a sunset for granted, or a tropical trip or a friendship, or anything… EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.... And it is because everything is so temporary that it is so beautiful.

I love my life, I love the work I get to do with people in assisting them in creating lives they are in love with too, I love where I live and I always love to travel-anywhere, I love my friends and *Soul Family* sooo much. You make my heart smile and bring the sunshine to my world. My life is more beautiful with you all in it. I love Facebook and all my virtual friends and that feeling that we are all just sitting in someone's living room chatting it up...I love the unity it brings with people around the world that I may never have had the opportunity to know.

Life is beautiful, and not just when you're in the tropics. Start seeing it...I promise you, if you change they way you look at things, the things you look at will change. YOU will change. You can choose to see everything as a miracle or you can choose to see the negative and complain. It's nobody else's job to 'fix' your life. You have the powah...if only you knew it. If only you are brave enough to take it on. When you make a decision and just begin to take steps in the direction that your Soul longs to go, unseen forces will rise to support you and you will gain power with every new step that you take. A smile will creep across your lips and linger, your tired lil heart will feel lighter and you will get shinier and shinier. And before you know it, there won't be a soul on the planet that you would trade your life for because yours will be of your own conscious, often hard-won design.

Shine on, shine on peeps!! There's a big, bright beautiful world out there that would love to be 'seen' and experienced by you. What are you waiting for?! Go make snow angels already....and I'll go make one in the sand!! (((Hugs))) all around! Xoxo

Delicious Autumn!!

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.~George Eliot

It’s the Fall Equinox, Peeps...happening now. Why do I share all this stuff about what's going on in the cosmos? Because it’s important. Because to be present to the seasons, elements, nature and life itself is to be in a space of balance and harmony, abundance and gratitude. 

If you are in tune with the amazing abundance and beauty that is happening outside your very door RIGHT NOW, you may forget, if only for a moment— the fear of the bills that are due, the weight of the toxic relationships you find yourself in, the burden of work you have to get done for a job that you really don’t even like, the emotional issues of family members that you somehow feel responsible to fix, and those nagging aches and pains in your body that you try to ignore and—well, just enjoy the show!!!

And when you let yourself fully “enjoy the show” you would feel yourSelf immersed in awe and wonder at the beauty all around you...you would start to really ‘see’ the colors of the changing leaves, the baby blue-ness of the sky, you might almost ‘feel’ yourself immersed in the billowy-puffy angel pillows called clouds, your sense of smell might come alive and you would detect the smell of pines, cut grass, and that ‘fall-smell’ in the air, you would feel the crisp, cool, fall air across your face and blowing through your hair.  You just might feel ALIVE— if even for a moment.

And the longer you ‘allow’ your big, bright, beautiful Self to linger in this place of presence, you may find that you really like it here and you want to stay longer.  You may even glimpse that this space is your TRUTH. That it resonates so much with your Soul, you may remember that this is WHO YOU ARE. You may touch something within that you felt you’d long lost touch with—that only exists in childhood, never to be recaptured— at least by you.

And YOU would be wrong! It does exist. It IS within you. You just abandoned it for things you felt were more important like making money, raising a perfect family, or climbing your ladder that never ends.  

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with those things—in balance. What I will say, is the more you allow yourSelf to tune in, to mother earth, to the ways of the ancients, of honoring the coming and going of the seasons, the sun, the moon, the stars, etc; the more in touch with the truth of ‘You’ will you get. And the more in touch and the more aligned you are with your mind, body, spirit and Highest Self, the more you will desire to feel like this all the time.

And when that time comes—when you are tired of your own rat-race, drama, bull-shit, lack-luster relationships, get-by job, body that doesn’t work, etc, you will make a decision to do whatever it takes to heal yourSelf from all the crap that weighs you down. You will decide that your limiting beliefs about yourself no longer serve you, that you really have it within you to do that thing you have ALWAYS wanted to do, that you deserve a relationship that lights you up and a job that inspires you and you will just go MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

Yep, that’s right....all by being present. By noticing the amazing show happening right now in your own life.

The fall equinox is all about celebration, abundance and beauty. It’s a time to acknowledge all the amazing strides and progress you have already made in this direction. It’s a time to go inward, to mine for the gold that is YOU. You ARE abundance, harmony, bliss peace and wonder!! The greatest journey you will ever take is that within—YOU are a marvel and a wonder. The beauty you see outside in this beautiful big, blue marble is only an outward gorgeous reflection of the beauty within YOU!!! Don’t miss the freaking show!!!!!

What is an Enlightened Relationship?

Many people on our planet are awakening to a new form of romantic relationship. Old notions of “’Til Death Do Us Part”, “For Time and All Eternity”, “And They Lived Happily Ever After” are falling away as evidence by the high divorce rate and failed relationships. The need to own your partner, control or manipulate them, feel victimized by your own unhappiness (and blame it on your partner) no longer serve us.  Relationships deserve an over-haul—better yet, a full-blown transformation.  May I suggest something new—The Enlightened Relationship. Not for the faint of heart. You have to do your own deep personal work to play in this arena. 

To be in an Enlightened Relationship there are a few requirements: 

1. It takes two conscious beings who are willing to be 100% accountable for themSelves and the relationship—not just 50% accountable and blaming their partner for the other fifty. David Hawkins wrote in Power vs. Force, “By taking the responsibility for the consequences of his own perceptions, the observer can transcend the role of victim to an understanding that ‘nothing out there has power over you.’ It isn’t life’s events, but how one reacts to them and the attitude that one has about them, that determines whether such events have a positive or negative effect on one’s life, whether they’re experienced as opportunity or as stress.” 
2. You have to know yourSelf, so you can own your voice and speak your truth about whatever comes up for you in honesty and authenticity. 
3. You have to let go of your attachment to being right as well as your expectations as to how the relationship should look and be ok with accepting what is. 

Just those three alone are enough to exclude most of the population.  How often do you find people that are able to OWN 100% of the issues in their relationships without playing the victim card? How many people do you know actually speak up when they feel hurt, slighted, upset, angry, disappointed? And not to gossip about it and point the finger at their so-called accuser, but to address that particular person without blaming?  And who do you know that has no attachment to being right? Hmmm...small crowd, eh?

So—it’s RARE. And I will tell you, it will be much easier if you are being that person to find that person.  If you are still blaming your parents or your ex for anything in your life, if you don’t value yourSelf enough to speak up for yourSelf, and if you can’t just go with the flow wether you are right or wrong, forget about it. 

However, if you’ve gotten a good grip on those 3 things above, there’s hope for you...read on.

So If I am in a truly enlightened relationship then I will love my partner(s) unconditionally.  I will want for them that which they desire for themselves. I will also hold my own needs and desires equal to that of my partner and not compromise my own truth. 

In an enlightened relationship, I have no need for a commitment or any promise of tomorrow . I understand that security is an illusion and that the need for commitment or monogamy is fear based and does in no way ensure security only gives one a false sense of it. I have no need to tie someone to a future that doesn’t exists so I can allay any fears of them leaving me for someone else. If that happens, I will realize the relationship was no longer serving us, and embrace it with grace, harmony and no hard feelings. Only gratitude for the love that was exchanged and lessons learned will be present. Enlightened relationships shift and transform, they don’t end. They also transition with the same grace and ease that they began...not with the usual drama, anger and resentment common in the old paradigm.  

In this enlightened space, I am able to be completely present and trust that all will unfold perfectly. I trust that the right people will show up at perfectly the right time for me to experience and learn what is next on my Soul’s journey.

I have no expectations in this relationship, nor do I expect my partner to make me happy and/or fulfill all of my needs.  I create happiness for mySelf from within.  The minute I give my power to someone or something outside of mySelf is where all the disappointment and suffering begins. If I think that my partner holds the keys to my happiness, we are both fucked (and I don’t mean in a good way!)  When he doesn’t do what I expect, I am a victim/whiney-bitch and he becomes an asshole. Yuck!! Unfortunately, that old school of thought is still rampant. There are still people that think someone else is responsible for their happiness.  I pity the hair-dressers that have to listen to the stories all day! That’s probably why one of the first things I teach my clients is accountability—it  eliminates all the story and empowers them.   

I will not create an enlightened relationship if I am still identifying with my position, possessions and relationships.  All of those things i.e. job titles, homes, cars and even relationships are transient and impermanent.  If I rely on those things to “make me” happy or to glean my identity from, I will fall apart when one or any of those things leave or disappear.  When I come from the space of self-referral as opposed to object-referral, I know that if all those things and people go away, I am still mySelf—I have the same intrinsic value. 

Enlightened relationships emphasize an abundance mentality not fear and lack. I realize that if my partner loves another it doesn’t mean that he loves me any less.  I am not diminished in any way because he has others that he cares about, nor do I feel less for him because I love another.  Monogamy is a conscious choice that is neither inherently “right” nor “wrong”.  If I choose it, it does not mean that my partner has to make the same choice. It’s about freedom above all else. I don’t manipulate, force, co-erce or guilt my partner into making a choice that is not his truth. I do, however, have open and honest lines of communication with no expectation of particular behaviors. I don’t ask for promises or commitments...my desire is for us to be completely present with each other.  Promises and commitments exist in a fantasy-made-up-future. 

And even if I were given one, I would never hold anybody to it, not that I have that power anyway.  If someone that I was with decided that they would rather be elsewhere, then that’s what I would want for them, too.  Why would I want to deny them the desire of their heart? Why would I want anyone to be with me if they would rather be somewhere else??  That’s just repulsive to me and wreaks of victim-mentality, guilt and manipulation. If I truly love another, I want nothing but my beloved’s desires for himSelf. That doesn’t mean that I don’t experience any sadness or loss.  It just means that I embrace whatever is for the beauty and lesson it provides me at the same time.  

In this relationship I realize that I am responsible for mySelf.  I create my own reality. If I have any obligation, it is simply to be open and honest. I am not responsible for my partner's emotions or reactions to my honest communication.   I understand that I can’t hurt or be hurt by another unless I allow it and choose to be and then I am the only one accountable for my response/reaction. I am never a victim.  This piece alone would create such harmony in relationships. Imagine no pointing fingers and no blame. Moment of silence please. Exhale. Yes, that would be nice. 

Because I love mySelf, I am content being alone.  I already feel whole and complete—I don’t need my partner for that. The time I spend alone is as valuable to me as the time spent with the other.  I’m not dependent on my partner’s physical presence to feel connected.  Because of the relationship and connection we have recognized and consciously created, we *feel* each other through time and space and sometimes lifetimes. We realize that separation is an illusion—that time and/or distance apart has no bearing on our connection to each other. 

Under this system, I love who you are and I have no need to attempt to change you.  If we no longer resonate, we simply and joyfully go our separate ways. I have no need to try to control you or own you.  I trust that everything that happens is for my highest good (and just more fodder for future books lol) I respect and honor that you are a sovereign being as I am. You and I are both FREE to stay or go...there is no binding contract hand-cuffing us together for better or for worse.  All that keeps us together is pure love, interest, passion, peace, harmony.  This enlightened relationship eliminates manipulation, coercion, control, duty and victimhood.  All feel respected and empowered to make choices in their highest and best interest trusting the other to do the same. It’s a new frontier—a kinder, gentler more conscious approach to love, relationship and connection. 

I invite you to go deep and do the personal work necessary to create amazing, conscious, enlightened relationships.  A few things to remember:  1. You must be that which you seek. 2. The most important enlightened relationship you can have is with yourSelf. 3. It’s ALL worth it. 4. It's a work in progress.  I see it as an ever evolving journey, not a destination.  We are still human and we still may have 'stuff' come up—It's how we handle it that's different. 

I believe Kahlil Gibran sums my thoughts up  much more eloquently below:

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”

***My views on this a couple of years later continue to evolve, as do my desires and preferences.  Where as before, I was so bent on my freedom because it seemed to always be taken from me, having healed that, I do desire a committed, monogamous relationship with my beloved and find even more freedom inside of that.  It's all about your personal preferences, your ability to remain authentic to you and to communicate that ever evolving truth as your relationships progress.