I realize, I have been letting things outside of mySelf disrupt my energy flow, my emotions, my productivity and my joy. Taking sometime this morning to mySelf, listening to my Celtic Woman music, that has always spoken to my soul in an ancient, almost past life kind-of-way, taking in the most nourishing scenery I have ever been in—no, I’m not in Bora Bora again, I’m in my own home...the first place I’ve ever lived that has really felt like ‘home’ to me...it resonates with the depths of my being, and resting my lil Soul in a space of peace and gratitude.
Something I’ve become clear about for mySelf, is that it is in my solitude, that my Spirit is most nourished, when I have the most love for mySelf, when I feel the most powerful, when I really ‘see’ ME. For many, this solitude is very disturbing. It’s only that way bc you don’t know who you are with...you have been accustomed to rely on outside validation of your existence, for others to ‘tell you’ who you are. Some people don’t even feel alive unless they are surrounded by chaos...if things are quiet and still they feel something is wrong...their equilibrium is disrupted.
For me, because of my own upbringing that I used to curse in some respects, I now am eternally grateful. I was told when I was very young that I was unwanted and that I was a burden so my lil Self did everything I could NOT to be that. Before I became an over-achiever in school, the best I could do was leave the house when the sun came up and stay gone til it started to get dark so I wouldn’t ‘bother’ anyone. I promise this isn’t a pity victim story...hang with me. I have no doubt I got EXACTLY what I deserved and was a request for, for my own Soul to grow. It was perfect for me. What happened FOR me in those very young and formative years is that I made a lot of friends. You can’t have better playmates than trees to climb, pollywogs to catch, rocks and arrowheads to find in the cornfield, and magical, elusive things like snakes, frogs and lizards to chase after and put in your swimming pool. Trust me, my childhood in Maine was magical. I don’t ever remember a time that I felt bored—still don’t.
EVERYTHING was enchanting to me. It was a daily adventure of discovery and awe. Wether it was an unexplored forest, a new or old pond, colorful leaves to be gathered, birds with broken wings to nurse back to health, stray dogs that would tag along, or catching bees in a mason jar in a field of flowers—I became so deeply connected with momma earth and Mr. Sun that it has made an imprint on my Soul. The Sun truly is my beloved and the trees are my friends...basically all I’ve added to that list is tea and an inordinate amount of books.
Although I love people, and I do like to go out and see and be seen to an extent, my happy place has always been alone and surrounded by nature...I’m not suggesting either is better or worse. It’s both in fact. It’s great to be comfortable and happy completely alone for extended periods of time...or even just for dinner for some. It’s also nice to be able to truly connect on an intimate level with ‘people’...not just birds and deer, (she said to herSelf) lol.
What I notice for me when I start paying too much attention to the drama outside of mySelf, when I start giving too much meaning or significance to it, I get out of balance, lose my own still vibe and forget. Forget who I am, forget that I practice detachment, that none of it is real, that it only has the meaning I give to it, and that it only has the power that I say it does. Nobody ‘makes’ me feel anything, I am never a victim and there is always something to be learned in whatever space or place that we find ourSelves in—that none of it is ‘wrong’ or ‘shouldn’t be happening’ because it IS. The practice is to maintain that inner stillness throughout any chaotic events, to respond and not react, to love and not withhold, to accept without judgement and to exercise discernment without turning into pride, and above all else to follow your truth which is usually your heart.
My challenge to you is that when you have had enough, or when you feel emotionally exhausted or you just need to remove yourself from some everyday drama or chaos, to take a good 3 hours (more if you can) to yourSelf. Do something that feels nourishing to YOU...here are a few ideas that work for me:
- Take a walk and just ‘see’ everything as if you just arrived on this planet and nothing has a label like mountain or flower or tree...explore things like you have NEVER seen them before.
- Take a bubble bath, bring your favorite tea and maybe a piece of chocolate, add your favorite essential oils and just breathe, rest and enjoy.
- Turn on your favorite introspective music, draw some cards...like tarot or your favorite deck and ask what your Higher Self or the Universe wants to share with you.
- Turn on some music that makes you happy, crank it up and dance around the house! My 3 faves right now are: I Lived by One Republic, Home by Philip Philips, Girl on Fire by Alicia Keyes.
- Ponder some of the shitty feelings you’ve been having and ask yourSelf how you can turn it around. Where can you insert love...it’s always the answer. Can you see things from another perspective? Does it serve you in anyway to have these feelings or beliefs? Can you let it go entirely?
- This one I almost never do...TAKE A NAP!! Everything is better when you’ve had some good rest. I usually opt to meditate again...feels more productive (and there’s my problem, lol)
My son’s 1st-grade teacher taught him something that ((( I ))) will never forget, TCOY. Take Care Of YourSelf!!!! You can not give what you do not have. If your well is empty, your acts of love and service will come from a place of duty and obligation and they will feel heavy. When you ‘fill your well’ life becomes more effortless, it is easier to be patient, it is easier to be kind, it is easier to love. You can not love others if you do not love yourSelf...someday that will sink in. Don’t let an axiom that may be over-played be shooed or ignored because you’ve heard it over and over. Listen again, you can NOT truly LOVE others unless you love yourSelf. Sacrifice is not love. Being dutiful is not love. Being obedient is not love. Fulfilling your obligations is not love. What is it then??? For you to ponder...I can’t give you all the answers :))
For now...Follow Your Bliss...be bold, be free, be beautiful...crank some tunes, get off your lazy sad lil bums and rock out for a bit!! (Yes, I’m well aware that I am talking to MYSELF) If it works for anyone else, all the merrier!! ((Loves & Hugs)))
